We’ve all been there—faced with a setback so crushing it feels like the end of the road. But what if I told you that failure isn’t the end? That, in fact, failure is a stepping stone to success?

Dear ambitious African woman, failure does not define you. It refines you. It’s part of the journey toward your goals, not a detour away from them.

Dear Ambitious African Woman, Failure is Part of Growth

Redefining Failure

In a world that celebrates perfection and quick wins, it’s easy to see failure as defeat. But failure is a sign of effort, proof that you’re daring to step outside your comfort zone. It’s in these moments of falling short that we grow the most. Failure teaches us resilience, reveals blind spots, and sharpens our skills for the next challenge.

A Personal Story of Failure

I vividly remember one of my biggest failures. I had launched a business with high hopes, pouring time, energy, and savings into making it a success. But when I became a mother, my responsibilities overwhelmed me and my business went down as a result. I felt embarrassed and defeated, questioning my abilities and worth because I thought I was strong enough to handle it.

I wallowed in the thought of not being able to do both of them at the moment but I had to accept that it was hard for me at the time. So I chose to focus on one thing at the moment which was motherhood. I felt like I had failed in my business in some way and it bothered me for a while. But eventually, I realized I shouldn't let the failure define or overwhelm me. What happened was beyond my control and I took the lessons instead of the regret.

Through that experience, I learned valuable lessons about change and adaptability. I'm using the lessons to rebuild a more sustainable version of my business. That failed business has become the foundation for my later success because I took the lessons and I'm applying them to new ventures.

Lessons From Failure

Every failure carries a lesson. Here are some insights I’ve learned along the way:

Failure Isn’t Final: It’s not the end of the road; it’s a redirection to a better path.
It’s Okay to Feel Disappointed: Acknowledge your emotions, but don’t let them consume you.
Every Failure Has a Lesson: Ask yourself what went wrong and what you can do differently next time.
Growth Takes Time: Just like a seed needs to be buried in the dark before it can sprout, failure often precedes growth.

You’re Not Alone: Even the most successful people have failed. Oprah was fired from her first TV job, and Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison before becoming South Africa’s president. Their setbacks didn’t stop them; they fueled their journeys.

Bouncing Back After Failure

If you’ve recently experienced a setback, here’s how you can rise stronger:

Give Yourself Grace: Be kind to yourself. Failure doesn’t mean you’re inadequate; it means you’re human.
Reflect and Learn: Take time to analyze what went wrong and identify what you’ll do differently moving forward.
Set New Goals: Don’t let failure paralyze you. Set achievable goals and take small steps toward them.
Seek Support: Lean on your support system for encouragement and guidance. You don’t have to navigate failure alone.
Stay Persistent: Remember that every successful person has failed at some point. What sets them apart is their determination to keep going.

Embracing Failure as Part of the Journey

Dear ambitious African woman, your dreams are valid, and so is your journey. Failure is not a roadblock; it’s a stepping stone. Each setback you face is preparing you for the greatness ahead. Don’t let fear of failure stop you from dreaming big and pursuing your goals.

You are capable of rising from any fall, stronger and wiser than before. So, embrace the lessons, take the next step, and keep moving forward. Your story is still being written, and each chapter—failures included—is shaping you into the phenomenal woman you are destined to be.

Leaving a toxic relationship is one of the hardest decisions anyone can make. For me, it was also the most transformative. Like most people, I entered my relationship hoping it would last. But over time, it became clear that staying was no longer an option. The discomfort, the emotional toll, and the loss of myself in the process were too much to bear. Ending that relationship was my first step toward self-improvement—a step that felt like both a breaking point and a rebirth. Today, I want to share my journey of healing, growth, and the pivotal moments that helped me reclaim my power and rediscover my worth.

How I Started My Journey to Self-Improvement After a Toxic Relationship

The First Step: Choosing Myself

The decision to leave was the hardest but most crucial moment of my journey. It was the point where I took my power back, even though it didn’t feel like it at the time. In fact, it felt like the weakest moment of my life. I was scared, uncertain, and emotionally drained. But deep down, I knew I deserved better. I deserved peace, respect, and the chance to be myself again.

After leaving, I made plans to rebuild my life. I envisioned a future where I was happy, healthy, and thriving. But what I didn’t anticipate was the depth of the healing process. I thought healing would be simple—something I could “get over” with time. I didn’t realize how much the toxicity had affected me mentally and emotionally until I was alone with my thoughts. That’s when the real work began.

The Healing Process: Kindness and Patience

Healing from a toxic relationship is not a linear process. It’s messy, painful, and often exhausting. There were days when I felt like I was drowning in emotions—anger, sadness, guilt, and even self-doubt. But through it all, I learned to be kind to myself. This was a turning point for me.

I realized that I had always been kind and understanding toward others but rarely extended the same compassion to myself. So, I started asking myself one simple question: *How would I react if this were a friend going through the same thing?* The answer was always the same—I would be patient, understanding, and supportive. So, I decided to treat myself the same way.

When I couldn’t meet my own expectations or the expectations of others, I reminded myself that healing takes time. There were days when I couldn’t keep up with house chores or tasks because I was emotionally drained. To outsiders, it might have looked like laziness, but internally, I was fighting a battle. I allowed myself to feel my emotions fully—whether that meant crying, talking to myself out loud, or simply sitting with my feelings. I learned that letting those heavy emotions out was a crucial part of the healing process.

Self-Care: A Path to Feeling Like Myself Again

One of the most significant steps in my self-improvement journey was prioritizing self-care. For me, this meant focusing on my physical appearance as a way to feel good about myself again. During the relationship, I had gained weight and neglected my skincare routine. I didn’t feel like myself anymore, and it showed.

I made a conscious effort to lose weight and take better care of my skin. I started with small changes—reducing my food portions, incorporating exercise, and experimenting with intermittent fasting. It wasn’t easy, especially when I didn’t see immediate results, but I kept going. I also invested in skincare products and routines that made me feel pampered and confident. Over time, these efforts paid off. I started to see changes in my body and my skin, and more importantly, I started to feel like *me* again.

Setting Goals and Educating Myself

Another pivotal moment in my journey was setting goals and educating myself. I created a vision board to visualize the life I wanted—a life filled with happiness, health, and success. Even when I faced setbacks, I didn’t give up. I modified my plans, adjusted my approach, and kept trying.

I also took the time to educate myself about the effects of toxic relationships and how to heal from them. This was incredibly empowering. It helped me understand that I was a victim in my situation, and it shifted my perspective. Instead of being hard on myself, I began to see my healing as a necessary and valid process. Learning about the dynamics of toxic relationships also helped me understand the person I had dated and, more importantly, myself.

Learning to Give It Time

One of the hardest lessons I learned was that healing takes time. I wanted everything to change overnight—my emotions, my circumstances, my life. But the reality is that toxicity doesn’t leave your system in a day. It takes time to rebuild stability, especially when your expenses and responsibilities increase after leaving a relationship.

I also had to learn new habits, like setting boundaries. This was particularly challenging because toxic people often push back when you try to establish limits. But I realized that boundaries were necessary for my self-improvement and mental health. I also had to let go of the guilt I felt about ending the relationship. It’s easy to feel like you’re the one who “destroyed” things, but the truth is that choosing yourself is never a mistake.

Final Thoughts: Choosing Yourself Is Worth It

Looking back, I can see how far I’ve come. Leaving that toxic relationship was the first step, but the real growth happened in the months and years that followed. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. Today, I’m proud of the person I’ve become—someone who prioritizes self-care, sets boundaries, and embraces kindness and patience, both for others and for myself.

If you’re on a similar journey, know that it’s okay to take it one day at a time. Be kind to yourself, celebrate small wins, and remember that healing is not a race. You deserve to be happy, healthy, and free. Choosing yourself is always worth it.

If you’ve been through a similar experience or are currently on your own journey of self-improvement, I’d love to hear your story. Let’s support each other as we grow and heal. 💕

Let me know if you'd like to adjust or add anything!

Success is a deeply personal journey, and for ambitious African women who dream of achieving more in life, it is crucial to define what success truly means to you. We often get caught up in societal expectations or compare our progress to others.

However, success is relative and subjective—its meaning varies from one person to another. Understanding this can transform how you approach your goals and create a life that feels authentically fulfilling.

How to Define Success on Your Own Terms: The Power of Vision Boards and How to Create One

Defining Success on Your Own Terms

Success is not a one-size-fits-all concept. While some women might associate success with fame, recognition, or being widely known for their achievements, others might find fulfillment in quiet promotions or having a meaningful career without public attention.

For some, success means having more time to spend with family, while others see it as the freedom to travel, explore the world, and afford the things they desire. These definitions are all valid because success depends on what aligns with your values, dreams, and priorities.

Take a moment to ask yourself:

What would make me feel fulfilled and accomplished?
What aspects of my life do I want to improve or excel in?
Am I chasing societal standards, or am I focusing on what truly matters to me?

Once you define success for yourself, you can plan your actions, set your goals, and work toward your unique vision with clarity and confidence.

Why Defining Success Matters

When you don’t know what success looks like for you, it’s easy to feel lost or overwhelmed. You might spend time chasing goals that don’t align with your values or wonder why your efforts aren’t bringing you satisfaction. Defining success gives you direction and purpose, ensuring your goals are meaningful and fulfilling.

Knowing your version of success also helps you resist the urge to compare yourself to others. Remember: we’re all on unique journeys, and what works for someone else may not work for you.

Using Vision Boards to Visualize Success

Once you’ve defined what success means to you, it’s time to bring that vision to life—and that’s where vision boards come in. A vision board is a visual representation of your goals and dreams. It’s a tool that helps you stay focused on what you want to achieve and reminds you of your priorities every day.

When you create a vision board, you’re not just pasting pictures onto a board; you’re solidifying your intentions, dreams, and the future you desire.

How to Make a Vision Board

To create a vision board that works, follow these steps:

Define Your Goals
Be specific about what you want. If success means building a thriving business, visualize the type of business, your ideal clients, and the revenue you want to generate. If success means spending more time with family, think about what that looks like—family vacations, weekends at home, or celebrating milestones together.
Gather Supplies
You’ll need a board (corkboard, poster board, or digital app like Canva), scissors, magazines, or printed images, glue or pins, and markers.
Find Inspiring Images and Words
Look for images, words, or quotes that resonate with your vision. For example, if one of your goals is to own a car, find a picture of the exact car you want. If you want to travel, include photos of your dream destinations.
Organize Your Vision Board
Arrange your images and words into sections that represent different areas of your life, such as career, family, health, or personal growth. This structure can help you focus on your priorities.
Place Your Vision Board Where You Can See It
Keep your vision board in a spot where you’ll see it daily—on your desk, bedroom wall, or as your phone background. Regularly seeing your goals reinforces them in your mind.

Long-Term and Short-Term Vision Boards

You can create two types of vision boards:

Long-Term Vision Board: This is your big-picture vision that may take 3–5 years or more to accomplish. It includes your ultimate goals and dreams, such as owning a home, starting a business, or retiring early.
Short-Term Vision Board: This focuses on goals you want to achieve within a year or less. It could include finishing a course, starting a side hustle, or saving a specific amount of money.

Your short-term vision board acts as a stepping stone toward your long-term vision. For instance, saving money to invest in a business (short-term) supports your dream of becoming financially independent (long-term).

The Benefits of Vision Boards

Clarity: Vision boards help you define your goals and keep them at the forefront of your mind.
Motivation: Seeing your dreams visualized keeps you inspired to take action.
Focus: They serve as a daily reminder of what you’re working toward.
Positive Mindset: Vision boards reinforce a sense of possibility and optimism.

Making It Practical

Review your vision board regularly. Update it as your goals evolve or you achieve certain milestones.
Break down the goals on your vision board into actionable steps. For example, if your vision board includes “writing a book,” your steps could be outlining chapters, writing daily, and finding an editor.
Celebrate small wins. Achieving even one goal from your vision board is worth celebrating!

Final Thoughts

As an ambitious African woman, success begins with defining what it means to you. Don’t let societal standards or comparisons dictate your journey. Instead, embrace your unique vision and use tools like vision boards to stay focused and motivated.

Your dreams are valid, and with clarity, commitment, and the power of visualization, you can create the life you desire. Start today—define your success, create your vision board, and take one step closer to the life of your dreams.

In a world that celebrates constant hustle, where productivity often feels like the ultimate measure of success, it’s easy to forget one simple truth: you’re allowed to rest. As an ambitious African woman, the pressure to perform can feel overwhelming. You’re expected to excel at work, care for your family, support your community, and somehow find time to pursue your dreams. But here’s the thing—you don’t have to do it all at all times.

Dear Ambitious African Woman, You’re Allowed to Rest

The Myth of Doing It All

Society often paints a picture of the “strong African woman”—the one who carries the weight of the world on her shoulders without breaking a sweat. While this narrative might sound empowering, it can also be harmful. It sets an unrealistic expectation that you must always be on, always achieving, and always available. But the truth is, no one can sustain that level of performance without burning out.

Ambition is a beautiful thing, but it’s not a reason to neglect your well-being. You don’t have to prove your worth by overextending yourself. Rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. And taking time to recharge doesn’t mean you’re any less ambitious or capable—it means you’re wise enough to prioritize your long-term success.

Why Rest is Essential for Success

Rest isn’t just about sleeping or taking a break from work; it’s about giving your mind, body, and soul the time they need to heal and rejuvenate. When you rest, you:

Boost Your Creativity: Rest allows your brain to process information and come up with fresh ideas. Ever noticed how solutions to problems often come when you’re relaxed?
Improve Your Health: Chronic stress and overwork can lead to health problems like high blood pressure, anxiety, and fatigue. Rest helps you avoid these pitfalls.
Strengthen Your Relationships: When you’re well-rested, you have more energy to invest in meaningful connections with loved ones.
Increase Your Productivity: Taking breaks prevents burnout and helps you work more efficiently when you return to your tasks.

Practical Ways to Integrate Rest into Your Busy Life

Resting doesn’t mean abandoning your responsibilities or ambitions. It means finding ways to recharge, even amidst a hectic schedule. Here are some ideas:

Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to tasks or commitments that drain your energy. Protect your time and prioritize what truly matters.
Delegate and Seek Help: You don’t have to do everything alone. Whether it’s hiring help, delegating tasks at work, or asking family members to pitch in, don’t be afraid to share the load.
Schedule Rest: Treat rest like any other important appointment. Block out time in your calendar for activities that relax and rejuvenate you, whether it’s a nap, a spa day, or simply reading a book.
Practice Mindfulness: Take a few moments each day to pause and breathe. Mindfulness exercises like meditation or yoga can help reduce stress and improve your focus.
Sleep Well: Aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night. A well-rested body and mind are far more effective than a tired one.
Take Mini-Breaks: Incorporate short breaks throughout your day. Step away from your desk, stretch, or take a quick walk to refresh your mind.

Let Go of the Guilt

One of the biggest barriers to rest is guilt. You may feel that taking a break means you’re being lazy or letting others down. But rest is not a sign of weakness; it’s a form of self-respect. It’s recognizing that you deserve to be cared for, just as much as anyone else.

Think of rest as an investment in your future. When you’re rested, you show up as your best self—more focused, creative, and resilient. By taking care of yourself, you’re also better equipped to care for others and pursue your goals.

A Call to Action

Dear ambitious African woman, it’s time to release the myth that you have to do it all, all the time. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to pause, reflect, and recharge. Embrace rest as a vital part of your journey, not as an indulgence or a sign of weakness.

When you prioritize rest, you’re not just taking care of yourself; you’re setting an example for other women to do the same. You’re showing your daughters, sisters, and friends that it’s okay to step back and breathe. You’re proving that rest is not the enemy of ambition but its ally.

So, take a moment today to rest. You deserve it. And when you return to your dreams and goals, you’ll do so with renewed energy and purpose—ready to conquer the world, one step at a time.

Becoming a mother is one of the most beautiful and transformative experiences in life. But let’s be honest—it also comes with its fair share of challenges, especially when it comes to getting back in shape after having kids.

For years, I struggled with my postpartum body, and it wasn’t just about the physical changes. It was about finding the time, energy, and motivation to prioritize myself while juggling motherhood, work, and life’s other demands. It was a long and challenging journey, but also one that taught me resilience, patience, and self-love.

I want to share my fitness journey—the struggles, the triumphs, and the practical tips that helped me along the way. If you’re a mom trying to reclaim your body and confidence, I hope my story inspires you.

Postpartum Fitness: My Fitness Journey, Struggles, Triumphs, and Practical Tips for Other Mothers

The Struggle: Postpartum Belly and Beyond

After having my kids, my body changed in ways I didn’t expect. My postpartum belly was the most noticeable difference, but over time, I started gaining weight all over my body. It became frustrating, especially because every time I lost a little weight, I gained it all back. Consistency was hard to maintain, motherhood was exhausting, work was demanding, and I was dealing with the emotional toll of a toxic relationship. first, I blamed it on the natural changes that come with motherhood. But as the weight kept on piling, I realized there was more to it.

Actually, things had gotten worse when I started using a contraceptive that caused significant weight gain. It took me a while to realize that the contraceptive was affecting my body and making it harder to lose weight. It took me a while to connect the dots, but once I did, I decided to take control of my health.

The Turning Point: Taking Charge of My Health

The first step was removing the contraceptive that was contributing to my weight gain. Then I noticed a difference. My body started responding better to my efforts, and I felt more motivated than ever to get back in shape. This decision marked a turning point. After taking it out, I noticed better results when I exercised and adjusted my eating habits.

I used different methods to lose weight based on what felt right for me at different stages:

1. Exercise and Working Out: I incorporated simple home workouts, which helped me feel stronger and more in control. It wasn’t always easy to find the time or energy, but even short sessions made a difference.

2. Reducing Food Portions: I became more mindful of how much I was eating and started cutting back on portion sizes.

3. Intermittent Fasting: This became a game-changer for me. It was tough at first, but over time, my body adapted, and I started seeing results.

The Challenges: Staying Consistent and Listening to My Body

Let’s be real—postpartum fitness isn’t a straight path. The journey was far from easy. There were many hurdles along the way. There were days when I overate, skipped workouts, or broke my fasting routine. But instead of beating myself up, I learned to be kind to myself. I prepared myself mentally to get back on track, even if it meant switching methods or adjusting my approach.

One of the biggest challenges was dealing with my postpartum belly. After two C-sections, getting my stomach flat felt impossible. But I didn’t give up. Over time, I noticed significant progress—my back fat reduced, my clothes fit better, and I started feeling lighter and more confident. I didn’t rely on a scale to measure my progress; instead, I focused on how I looked and felt. And let me tell you, the day I could look in the mirror and smile was a huge victory.

What Worked for Me: Practical Tips for Other Moms

If you’re on a postpartum fitness journey, here are some tips that helped me and might help you too:

1. Start Small and Be Consistent: You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start with small, manageable changes and build from there.

2. Listen to Your Body: Don’t push yourself too hard. If a method isn’t working for you, it’s okay to switch things up or try something new.

3. Combine Methods: I found success by combining intermittent fasting, portion control, and exercise. Find what works for you and don’t be afraid to mix and match.

4. Do Your Research: Platforms like TikTok and YouTube can be great sources of information, but always double-check the advice you find. Not everything works for everyone.

5. Be Patient: Results take time. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see changes right away. Trust the process and keep going.

6. Stay Hydrated and Eat Balanced Meals: No matter what method you choose, drinking plenty of water and eating nutritious foods are non-negotiables.

7. Celebrate Small Wins: Every step forward is progress. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small they seem.

The Triumphs: Confidence and Compliments

One of the most rewarding parts of this journey has been the external validation. People started noticing the changes—staring and giving compliments. It felt amazing to know that my hard work was paying off. But more importantly, I felt proud of myself. I went from disliking my reflection to feeling confident and comfortable in my skin.

You Can Do It Too

Postpartum fitness is a journey, not a race. It’s about finding what works for you, being patient with yourself, and staying consistent. There will be ups and downs, but don’t let that discourage you. Remember, you’re not just doing this for your appearance—you’re doing it for your health, your confidence, and your overall well-being.

If I can do it, so can you. Start small, stay determined, and celebrate every step forward. You’ve got this, mama!

I hope this post resonates with other moms out there. If you have your own postpartum fitness story or tips, feel free to share them in the comments. Let’s support each other on this journey! 💪❤️

The world is changing fast, and new opportunities are opening up every day. For the modern African woman who wants more out of life, this is your time to step out, explore, and create a path that aligns with your dreams and talents.

Gone are the days when your options were limited to a handful of careers. Today, there are so many industries you can thrive in—even those you may not have considered before. Whether you’re looking to change careers, start something new, or expand your skills, the opportunities are endless.

Let’s dive into some exciting industries African women should explore and how you can get started.

Exploring New Opportunities: Careers and Industries African Women Should Consider

1. Digital Marketing and Content Creation

The internet has transformed how businesses operate, and digital marketing is at the heart of it all. Social media, blogging, email marketing, and content creation are now powerful tools that businesses use to reach customers.

If you enjoy writing, creating videos, or managing social media, digital marketing might be a perfect fit for you. As a digital marketer or content creator, you can work for companies, start your own agency, or even become an influencer promoting brands you believe in.

How to Get Started:

Take free courses on platforms like Google Digital Skills for Africa, HubSpot Academy, or Coursera.
Build your own online presence to showcase your skills. For example, start a blog, YouTube channel, or social media page.
Network with other content creators and digital marketers to learn from their experiences.

2. Tech and Software Development

Technology is shaping the future, and there’s no reason why African women can’t lead in this space. Careers in tech are diverse, ranging from software development and data analysis to user experience (UX) design and cybersecurity.

You don’t need a degree in computer science to get started. Many women have transitioned into tech by taking online coding courses and building projects to showcase their skills.

How to Get Started:

Join communities like She Code Africa or Women in Tech Africa.
Learn coding languages like Python, JavaScript, or HTML through platforms like Codecademy or FreeCodeCamp.
Attend tech boot camps or events to meet mentors and potential employers.

3. Social Entrepreneurship and Non-Profit Management

If you’re passionate about solving problems in your community, social entrepreneurship might be for you. Social entrepreneurs create businesses that make money while also addressing social or environmental issues.

For example, you could start a business that provides clean water solutions, supports women’s education, or offers affordable childcare services. The key is to find a problem you care about and create a sustainable solution.

How to Get Started:

Identify a problem in your community that you want to solve.
Research how other social entrepreneurs have tackled similar issues.
Look for funding opportunities from organizations that support social enterprises, like the Tony Elumelu Foundation or the African Women’s Development Fund.

4. Creative Industries: Design, Fashion, and Film

Africa is a hub of creativity, and the world is taking notice. From fashion and interior design to photography and filmmaking, there are countless ways to turn your creativity into a career.

For instance, you could start a clothing line inspired by African culture, become a graphic designer, or even produce short films that tell stories about African women. The creative industry allows you to express yourself while building a brand that stands out.

How to Get Started:

Take online courses or workshops to improve your skills. Platforms like Skillshare and Udemy have affordable classes.
Build a portfolio to showcase your work—whether it’s designs, photos, or videos.
Use social media to share your creations and attract potential clients or collaborators.

Tips for Exploring New Opportunities

Start Small: You don’t need to quit your job to explore something new. Start by learning about the industry, taking courses, or volunteering in your spare time.
Find Mentors: Look for women who are already succeeding in the field you’re interested in. Reach out to them for advice or mentorship.
Build Your Network: Join groups and attend events related to your chosen industry. Networking can open doors to new opportunities.
Believe in Yourself: Stepping into a new industry can be intimidating, but trust that you have what it takes to succeed.

Final Thoughts

The modern African woman is unstoppable. You have the potential to break barriers, create impact, and live a life that fulfills you. By exploring new opportunities, you can discover careers that align with your dreams, talents, and the kind of legacy you want to leave behind.

Remember, it’s never too late to start. The key is to take the first step, no matter how small. Your journey might not be easy, but it will be worth it.

This is your time to shine—so go out there and make it happen! 🌟

How I Styled My Short Hair with Relaxer and Gel: A Low-Maintenance Journey

Earlier this year, I made the decision to cut my hair. Life was hectic, especially with school runs for my kids, and I wanted a hairstyle that required minimal effort. I didn’t want to spend time combing, brushing, or even checking the mirror before stepping out of the house. Cutting my hair felt like the perfect solution to reduce stress in my routine.

After the big chop, I experimented with different hair colours, but eventually, I decided to no longer colour my hair. Still, I wanted to add style to my look, so I created curls with my short hair. At first, I doubted that I could achieve this using a regular relaxer, as I’d heard there were relaxers specifically designed for curls. But since I couldn’t find one, I decided to use Dark and Lovely hair relaxer because it doesn’t make hair overly thin after relaxing.

How to make curls on short hair using Dark & Lovely hair relaxer | Beauty

Here’s the step-by-step process I followed to achieve beautiful curls with my short hair:

How to Create Curls on Short Hair Using Relaxer and Gel

Prepare Your Hair and Relaxer
- Start with freshly shaved or very short hair.
- Mix the relaxer with the activator according to the instructions on the packaging. I used the Dark and Lovely relaxer because it’s gentle on hair and doesn’t overly thin it after use.

Apply the Relaxer
- Use your hands to evenly rub the relaxer mixture into your hair. Be sure to cover all areas.
- Comb through the hair gently to monitor the softening process. The goal is to achieve a "half-relaxed" state where the hair is softer but not fully straightened.
Wash Out the Relaxer
- Once the hair feels softer and halfway relaxed, rinse out the relaxer thoroughly with water. Follow up with a neutralizing shampoo to stop the relaxing process and protect your scalp.
Style with Gel
- Pat your hair dry with a towel but leave it slightly damp.
- Apply a generous amount of hair gel to your palms. I used Eco Gel, alternating between the regular gel and the gel for curls.
- Rub the gel onto your hair in circular motions with your hands. This technique helps the hair form natural-looking curls.
Smooth and Shine

Once the curls are formed, smooth the edges or style your hair as desired.
Add a small amount of hair oil for shine and extra hydration.

How to achieve curls with very short hair featuring Dark & Lovely hair relaxer | Beauty

Why I Loved This Hairstyle

This curly short hairstyle was everything I needed at the time. It was incredibly low-maintenance, stylish, and easy to achieve. I didn’t need to spend time combing or brushing, and it gave me the confidence to step out quickly and still feel put together.

Though I’m now in the process of growing my hair back to start plaiting again, I sometimes miss the convenience and simplicity of my short, curly hair. If you’re looking for a quick and stylish way to manage short hair, I highly recommend giving this method a try! You don't need to curl it every day. Some days you can comb it out and then curl it when you want.

Have you ever tried a similar hairstyle, or do you have tips for managing short hair? Share your thoughts in the comments below—I’d love to hear from you!

For centuries, the world has told African women who we are supposed to be. We’ve been handed scripts that confine us to limited roles—the caregiver, the silent supporter, the woman who sacrifices her dreams for the sake of others. But those narratives no longer serve us. They are not the full story of who we are or who we can become.

Dear ambitious African woman, it’s time to rewrite the narrative. It’s time to craft a story that reflects our strength, intelligence, beauty, and determination. A story that says we can achieve anything we set our minds to while honouring our culture and embracing modernity.

Dear Ambitious African Woman, Rewrite the Narrative

Challenge Limiting Beliefs

The first step in rewriting the narrative is to recognize the limiting beliefs that have been passed down through generations. These beliefs tell us that women can only thrive in the shadow of a man, that ambition is unattractive, or that success comes at the cost of family. These ideas are not facts; they are opinions rooted in outdated systems.

We must reject the notion that we have to choose between being a mother or a career woman, between being respected or independent. We can be both. We can be all. We can be educated, pursue thriving careers, lead in our communities, and still be loving mothers and wives. We can own our independence while welcoming healthy partnerships. We can build wealth and still honour our cultural values.

Steps to Break Free from Limiting Expectations

Define Your Own Success: Success doesn’t have a single definition. For one woman, it might mean building a multimillion-dollar company; for another, it might mean raising confident and compassionate children. Decide what success looks like for you and pursue it unapologetically.
Educate Yourself: Knowledge is power. Whether it’s formal education, skill acquisition, or self-directed learning, invest in your growth. Education gives you the tools to navigate and challenge societal expectations.
Plan and Act: Don’t wait for permission to pursue your dreams. Make a plan and start taking steps toward your goals. Even small actions build momentum over time.
Surround Yourself with Positivity: Build a supportive community of like-minded women who inspire and uplift you. Distance yourself from people or environments that discourage ambition or belittle your aspirations.
Embrace Your Duality: You can be strong and nurturing, independent and collaborative, modern and traditional. Being multifaceted is a strength, not a contradiction.
Advocate for Change: Use your voice to challenge norms and systems that hinder women’s progress. Whether it’s in your workplace, community, or home, speak up and advocate for equality and opportunity.

Celebrate African Women Redefining Success

Look around, and you’ll see countless African women rewriting the narrative every day. Women like Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, who became Africa’s first elected female head of state. Women like Bonang Matheba, built a media empire while promoting African excellence on a global stage. Women like you, are breaking barriers in their own unique ways.

We are no longer defined by struggle or lack. We are creators, innovators, and leaders. We are women who can run companies, own properties, and raise confident children. We are women who embrace beauty with brains, modernity with culture, and independence with community.

The New Narrative

The new narrative says African women can have it all—on our terms. We can dream big, work hard, and achieve greatness. We can respect our culture while creating a future that reflects our aspirations. We are no longer waiting for aid or handouts; we are building, trading, and transforming our communities. We are strong-willed, intelligent, and capable of making our own decisions.

Dear ambitious African woman, this is your time. Your voice matters, your dreams are valid, and your potential is limitless. Rewrite the narrative. Take up space. Lead with courage. And remember, when you rewrite your story, you inspire countless others to do the same.

As modern African women, we juggle so many roles—wife, mother, career woman, friend, sister—and often feel pulled in different directions. But deep down, many of us yearn for more. We want to live a life of purpose, create impact, and be more than just the roles we play. To achieve this, we need to understand who we are, what we truly want, and how to align our actions with our dreams. That’s where self-reflection comes in.

The Power of Self-Reflection in Career and Life Planning

Self-reflection is like hitting the pause button in a busy world. It allows you to step back, think deeply, and gain clarity about your values, goals, and purpose. It’s not just about looking back at your life; it’s about using what you learn to move forward intentionally.

Let’s explore how self-reflection can help you create the life and career you’ve always dreamed of.

Why Self-Reflection Matters

Know Yourself Better
Self-reflection helps you discover who you truly are—beyond the expectations of society, family, or culture. When you understand your strengths, weaknesses, passions, and values, you can make decisions that feel right for you.

Set Clear Goals
When you take time to reflect, you start to see what really matters to you. What do you want your life to look like in five years? What legacy do you want to leave behind? These questions help you set meaningful goals that align with your vision.
Learn from Your Experiences
Life is full of lessons, but we often rush past them. Self-reflection allows you to evaluate your past experiences—both good and bad—so you can make better choices in the future.

How to Use Self-Reflection

Self-reflection doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are simple steps to get started:

1. Create Time and Space

Find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted. This could be in your bedroom, a park, or even your car. Dedicate 15–30 minutes each week to reflect on your life.

2. Ask Yourself the Right Questions

Here are some questions to guide your reflection:

What kind of life do I want to live?
What brings me the most joy and fulfilment?
What are my biggest strengths and how can I use them?
What challenges have I faced recently, and what did I learn from them?
What problems in my community or the world do I care about solving?

These questions help you uncover what truly matters to you and what steps you need to take next.

3. Write It Down

Journaling is a powerful way to process your thoughts. Write about your dreams, fears, and lessons. Don’t worry about grammar or structure—just let your thoughts flow.

4. Evaluate Your Goals

Take a look at the goals you’ve set for yourself. Are they still relevant? Are they aligned with your values and vision? If not, adjust them to reflect the woman you are becoming.

Real-Life Applications of Self-Reflection

Building Your Career
If you’re unhappy in your current job, self-reflection can help you figure out why. Is it the work environment, the lack of growth, or the fact that the job doesn’t align with your passions? Once you know the problem, you can take steps to find a career that excites you and supports your goals.
Balancing Family and Ambition
As African women, family often comes first. But that doesn’t mean your dreams have to take a backseat. Use self-reflection to identify ways to balance both. For example, if you dream of starting a business, consider how you can involve your family or manage your time to pursue your goals without neglecting loved ones.
Making an Impact
Many of us want to give back to our communities but aren’t sure how. Reflect on the issues you care about most—education, women’s rights, poverty—and think about how your skills or resources can make a difference.

Practical Example

Let’s say you’re a mother of two, working a job that pays the bills but leaves you unfulfilled. Through self-reflection, you realize that you’ve always loved mentoring young girls. This insight could inspire you to start a weekend program for young women in your community, combining your passion with your desire to create impact. Over time, this side project could grow into something bigger—perhaps even a career change.

Final Thoughts

Self-reflection is a powerful tool for ambitious African women who want to live purposeful, impactful lives. It helps you understand who you are, what you want, and how to get there.

Remember, it’s not about figuring everything out at once. Start small. Take time each week to reflect, set intentions, and celebrate your progress. As you do this, you’ll gain clarity and confidence to pursue your dreams and become the woman you were meant to be.

You are more than just a wife or a mother. You are a visionary, a leader, and a changemaker. Embrace the power of self-reflection, and watch your life transform. 🌟

As ambitious African women, many of us dream of living a bigger and better life —a life where we create impact, follow our dreams and become institutions in our own right. But often, we feel stuck or unsure of where to begin. Finding your purpose isn’t just for a chosen few; it’s a journey anyone can take. And it starts with self-reflection and intentional action.

Here are some practical exercises to help you discover your purpose and take steps toward a fulfilling life.

Practical Exercises to Help You Find Your Purpose

1. The Interest Inventory

Your interests are like breadcrumbs leading to your purpose. What do you love doing, even when no one is watching?

How to do it:

Take a notebook and write down all the activities you enjoy.
Include hobbies, work tasks, or even things you daydream about.
Look for patterns. For example, do you enjoy organizing events, helping people, or creating something new?

Why it works:
This exercise helps you focus on the things that naturally bring you joy. Your purpose often lies in what excites you and makes you feel alive.

2. The Skills Audit

Your skills are your tools for success. Identifying what you’re good at can give you direction and confidence in pursuing your purpose.

How to do it:

List your strengths and abilities.
Ask friends or colleagues what they think you’re great at.
Match your skills to potential careers or projects.

For example, if you’re great at storytelling, you might consider writing, content creation, or public speaking. If you’re good with numbers, perhaps entrepreneurship or finance could be your path.

Why it works:
This exercise reveals how your talents can be applied in ways that make an impact. It also boosts your confidence by reminding you of what you can do.

3. Vision Mapping

Sometimes, the best way to find your purpose is to imagine the life you want to live.

How to do it:

Take a blank sheet of paper and write down your ideal life.
Be specific. Where are you living? What kind of work are you doing? How are you making a difference?
Break your vision into smaller goals and action steps.

For example, if your vision includes empowering young girls in your community, your first step might be to start a mentorship program or volunteer with a local organization.

Why it works:
This exercise clarifies and helps you focus on what truly matters to you. It’s like creating a roadmap for your dreams.

4. Networking and Exploration

Sometimes, we don’t know what’s possible until we see it through someone else’s journey.

How to do it:

Research about or reach out to professionals in fields that interest you.
Ask questions about their journey, challenges, and advice.
Attend events, workshops, or webinars to learn about different industries.

Why it works:
Networking helps you see what’s achievable and opens doors to opportunities you might not have considered. It also inspires you by showing you real-life examples of people who are making an impact.

5. Try Something New

You can’t discover your purpose by standing still. Taking action, even outside your comfort zone, can reveal what you’re truly passionate about.

How to do it:

Take a course in something you’re curious about.
Volunteer in a new field.
Start a side project, no matter how small.

Why it works:
Exploration allows you to uncover hidden talents and passions. It’s through trying that you’ll find what resonates with you.

Final Thoughts: Your Purpose is a Journey

Finding your purpose isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a journey filled with self-discovery, growth, and action. The key is to start somewhere—anywhere—and keep moving forward.

Remember, your purpose isn’t just about what you do; it’s about the impact you create. As a modern African woman, you have the power to redefine what success looks like for yourself and others. You can be a wife, a mother, an entrepreneur, a leader, or all of the above. The most important thing is to live a life that feels true to you.

Take these exercises, try them one by one, and trust the process. The world is waiting for the brilliance only you can bring. 🌟

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Dear Ambitious African Woman, Failure is Part of Growth

Redefining Failure

A Personal Story of Failure

Lessons From Failure

Bouncing Back After Failure

Embracing Failure as Part of the Journey

How I Started My Journey to Self-Improvement After a Toxic Relationship

The First Step: Choosing Myself

The Healing Process: Kindness and Patience

Self-Care: A Path to Feeling Like Myself Again

Setting Goals and Educating Myself

Learning to Give It Time

Final Thoughts: Choosing Yourself Is Worth It

How to Define Success on Your Own Terms: The Power of Vision Boards and How to Create One

Defining Success on Your Own Terms

Why Defining Success Matters

Using Vision Boards to Visualize Success

How to Make a Vision Board

Long-Term and Short-Term Vision Boards

The Benefits of Vision Boards

Making It Practical

Final Thoughts

Dear Ambitious African Woman, You’re Allowed to Rest

The Myth of Doing It All

Why Rest is Essential for Success

Practical Ways to Integrate Rest into Your Busy Life

Let Go of the Guilt

A Call to Action

Postpartum Fitness: My Fitness Journey, Struggles, Triumphs, and Practical Tips for Other Mothers

The Struggle: Postpartum Belly and Beyond

The Turning Point: Taking Charge of My Health

I used different methods to lose weight based on what felt right for me at different stages:

The Challenges: Staying Consistent and Listening to My Body

What Worked for Me: Practical Tips for Other Moms

The Triumphs: Confidence and Compliments

You Can Do It Too

Exploring New Opportunities: Careers and Industries African Women Should Consider

1. Digital Marketing and Content Creation

2. Tech and Software Development

3. Social Entrepreneurship and Non-Profit Management

4. Creative Industries: Design, Fashion, and Film

Tips for Exploring New Opportunities

Final Thoughts

How I Styled My Short Hair with Relaxer and Gel: A Low-Maintenance Journey

How to Create Curls on Short Hair Using Relaxer and Gel

Why I Loved This Hairstyle

Challenge Limiting Beliefs

Steps to Break Free from Limiting Expectations

Celebrate African Women Redefining Success

The New Narrative

Why Self-Reflection Matters

How to Use Self-Reflection

1. Create Time and Space

2. Ask Yourself the Right Questions

3. Write It Down

4. Evaluate Your Goals

Real-Life Applications of Self-Reflection

Practical Example

Final Thoughts

1. The Interest Inventory

2. The Skills Audit

3. Vision Mapping

4. Networking and Exploration

5. Try Something New

Final Thoughts: Your Purpose is a Journey

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