This can be a real struggle when we see others succeed and we seem unable to reach our goals. This may make us feel not good enough and lost in life.

It's possible to wish for the things that others have achieved to happen to us. But success is not the same for everyone. We may all want to make a lot of money but what I consider a lot of money may not be a lot to you. 

Another example is that some people see success in love, family and the development of other people. To them, success is the number of people they touch or the number of lives they have changed. 

If having a happy family makes you feel successful then you will want to make efforts in that direction. If being able to provide all your financial needs as well as those around you makes you feel successful, then you better start making goals that will help you realise that. Your feeling successful could come from being appreciated for your work, receiving an award, a title or being famous. Define what success means to you and make plans then take action. 

Defining your success gives you the global picture of how you want your life to be. If success to you means living a happy life then the global image you may have is living a happy and serene life with those you love. You may also have a global picture of having a flourishing career with lots of awards on your shelf in your dream house. Your definition of success will help you make goals that will be precise and attainable.

Related: How to Define Your Own Success

You will discover that you don't want what your friends have because they simply won't make you feel happy or fulfiled. So, define what success means to you in order to stop feeling jealous and less worthy of life. 

Tell me what you think. What does success mean to you? And how has defining your success helped you?

Here are some tips to help you define your own success.

1. Ask yourself what makes you happy. Really happy. 

Think of how you want your life to look globally. Go on a journey of deep thinking and find out what really makes you happy. Don't feel ashamed of your definition of happiness. Write down your thoughts about what you think will be a happy life for you.

2. Think of the Milestones you want to reach in your life.

Which milestones are important in your life? Is it getting a degree? Getting married? Getting a job? Making a million? Winning an award? Being a best seller? Finding happiness?

Whichever one is important to you, write them down.

3. Don't ever compare your definition of success with that of others.

Not everyone is happy with what they have achieved. Don't let the illusions people create on social media influence your definition of happiness. Your friends may look happy in all their graduation photos but they may not even like the course they studied. And that is not a success to them because that degree doesn't give them any satisfaction. So you definitely see it as a success but they don't (and won't tell you).

Related: Why You Should Define Your Own Success

4. Put together Important Milestones and things that make you Happy to Define Your Own Success.

You know what makes you happy as well as what you want to achieve so use that to define your success. If your dream happy life is living in a big house with your family and your milestone is being a best seller author then these are what will make you feel successful. You can have many milestones and things that make you happy.

I have a hard time doing that because I want to be more productive each day and I tend to feel guilty when I'm not working towards increasing my productivity.

But I need to enjoy life. I need to do the things I love during my spare time and just relax. I'm teaching myself to take time for myself these days and I'm loving it. 

I love my me-time where I meditate, do my skincare and listen to music. I also love my evening workout sessions and my outings. It's helping me in so many ways. 

It makes you feel relaxed

It helps your mental health (because it reduces stress)

You become happier and smile even more

You feel more fulfilled

You'll inspire others to want to enjoy life too

You become more productive

You have a balanced life between work life, family life and social life

Now, I don't mean that you should spend all day sleeping, surfing the internet or thinking only about going out and having fun. I mean that your work time should balance your fun time so that you can enjoy both. 

Read a book, cook a meal you have never tried before, take a walk, practise a sport or take a dance class, watch TV, try a DIY, get a massage, do your nails...

Enjoy life!

Every parent has lists of things they expect their children to do, be or achieve in life. Some of these expectations come into existence from the day they are born. It gets longer and more specific as their children grow older. 

The good thing is that these expectations come from a good place. It comes from the desire to see their child succeed. 

But children - especially millennials complain that their parents are selfish when it comes to expectations. This is because, most of the time, parents think more of their wishes while guiding their kids through life.

This is very common in African families where the choices of the children reflect and impact the values of the parents (and the family).

The goals children want to achieve are usually different from those of their parents. Millennial kids experienced this a lot because of a lot of available technology and information than at the time of their parents. 

This gave them new passions in life. Most of which their parents do not agree with. This can be hard to manage especially as an adult because some careers children are passionate about takes more time to start paying off. Or don't seem profitable at the sound of it. And at this point, these children are seen as irresponsible or simply useless to themselves and their parents.

This hurts.

In as much as children want to find their own path in life, they also want their parents to be proud of them.

Everyone has got his own journey in life. Your parents had theirs which included having you as their child. But that should not tie you down to live only for their expectations. 

Find and trace your path in life. Your own journey is an inspiration to those who have the same passions as you.

Live your life to be happy and feel fulfilled. Pleasing others doesn't give you any fulfilment.

New year resolutions are necessary and here are a few worth sticking with this new year.

1. Staying Fit & Healthy

2. Being Happy

3. Facing Your Fears

4. Develop Yourself

5. Spread More Love & Kindness