A few days ago, I had a craving for bread and sardines. But when I got the sardines, I didn't feel like eating them the usual way. I wanted something a little different. Not necessarily fancy, just something with a bit more flavour and texture.

So I started experimenting in the kitchen.

I added a few ingredients that I thought would work well together and mixed everything until I got a creamy sardine bread spread. Honestly, I wasn't following any recipe. I wasn't checking online or trying to recreate anything. I was simply adding the things I felt would give me the taste I wanted at that moment.

The result was surprisingly good.

The kids loved it too, which was a pleasant surprise because I wasn't completely sure how they would react to sardines. We had it for breakfast one day, and another time we had it later in the day when I didn't feel like cooking a full meal.

I enjoyed it so much that I ended up making it more than once.

One day we had it with juice, and other times we simply enjoyed it with bread on its own. It was filling, easy to make, and rich enough to keep us satisfied for a while.

Of course, I shared the recipe here on the blog because I know I'm not the only person who occasionally wants something quick, simple, and tasty without spending too much time in the kitchen.

If you'd like to try it, you can find the recipe below:

The bread fills you up, the sardines add protein, and the spread feels a little more special than plain sardines on bread.

It's perfect for breakfast, but it also works well as a snack or a light lunch when you want something quick and satisfying.

If you try it, let me know how you customize yours. I have a feeling this is one of those recipes everyone makes a little differently.

One thing I noticed during the marriage debate going on on TikTok is that some people kept asking in the comments:

Honestly, those comments made me sad.

Not because people disagree, but because they seem to ignore—or pretend not to know—the reality many women face.

I had wanted to write about this before, but I kept postponing it. Then I came across another video, this time from a man from another country, I think Nigeria. It was a live video. He mentioned several successful women and asked whether they were married or had been. Then he went on to say that people keep pushing the narrative that women cannot be successful after marriage.

That was when I left the livestream.

I could already see where he was heading, and it annoyed me.

The thing is, nobody is saying that women cannot be successful after marriage.

There are many successful married women in the world. 

What many women are saying is that marriage can either support your dreams or make pursuing them much harder, depending on the person you marry and the relationship you are in.

And I think it is dishonest for people—mostly men, but also some women who enable these narratives—to act as if we have not seen countless examples of women whose careers, education, ambitions, and futures have been limited or completely shut down by their husbands or partners.

Some women are prevented from going back to school.

Some are discouraged from working.

Some are made to choose between their marriage and their dreams.

Some are forced to choose between pursuing opportunities and staying close to their children because they are threatened with losing access to their children.

Some women are abandoned with the children and left to carry the responsibilities alone.

Not every woman speaks publicly about these experiences.

Some are ashamed.

Some want to protect their homes.

Some do not want people to know what is happening behind closed doors.

Others enter marriage believing they will still be able to pursue their goals, only to discover that the responsibilities placed on them make it almost impossible.

They find themselves responsible for nearly everything in the home while trying to be wives, mothers, workers, students, and caregivers all at once.

And let's not pretend we have not seen men openly say these things themselves.

I have seen comments under videos of women exercising, building businesses, pursuing hobbies, or working toward their goals where men joke that the solution is to get her pregnant so she can stop focusing on those things.

People laugh at these comments, but there is often truth behind jokes.

Some men intentionally use pregnancy to tie women down or slow them down.

Some men refuse to hire domestic help because they want the woman to handle everything herself.

Some use physical violence.

Some use emotional abuse.

Some use manipulation and guilt.

Some simply do not feel comfortable seeing their wives succeed beyond them.

Some become insecure when the woman earns more money or achieves more professionally.

Others want a woman who will always be available to meet their needs and priorities, almost like a mother rather than a partner.

This is why I believe women need to think carefully about marriage and relationships.

Marriage and children often change the pace of a woman's life.

Not because women are incapable, but because both require time, energy, emotional labour, and support.

That is why I always say: build your life and then find a man who fits into it.

Think about the future you want.

Think about the life you imagine for yourself.

Does this person understand that vision?

Do they support it?

Do they share similar values?

Do they see life in a similar way?

Because these things matter.

The same goes for having children.

Pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood can be beautiful experiences, but they can also be demanding, especially when there is little support.

Your freedom changes.

Your responsibilities increase.

Your attention becomes divided.

That is why I think women should think carefully about when they want children, whether they want children, and what it will realistically take to raise them emotionally, financially, and practically.

These are choices.

And women have every right to make those choices for themselves.

After reading those comments and watching those videos, these were the thoughts that came to my mind.

Women have the right to plan their lives.

Women have the right to pursue their dreams.

Women have the right to decide what kind of future they want for themselves.

And if they want a man to share that future with, they can choose someone whose values align with theirs and who understands the life they are trying to build.

Life becomes much easier when you are walking in the same direction.

We do not enter relationships simply for the sake of being in one.

We enter relationships because they add something meaningful to our lives, because they are fulfilling, and because they fit the stage of life we find ourselves in.

At least, that is how I see it.

The discussion started when a young woman posted a video saying that she would rather be well-educated and financially stable than be married at this stage of her life. She explained that, for her, there is no point in marrying a man who does not have the level of intelligence, awareness, and understanding it takes to be with a woman like her.

Her video sparked a response from a Cameroonian male TikToker who disagreed strongly with her. In his reply, he said that he was beginning to dislike women who are too educated. He also stated that the type of women men are looking for are mothers or motherly women, along with some other comments that many people considered misogynistic.

His response triggered a wave of reactions from both men and women. What made me happy was that most people seemed to agree with the young woman. Many pointed out that we are no longer living in the old days and that marriage is not a compulsory path for every woman. Women can choose what they want to do with their lives.

Seeing these reactions made me realize that, despite the criticism often directed at feminists and feminism, there has been a shift in the way many people think. Both men and women are becoming more open to the idea that women should have the freedom to make decisions about their own lives. To me, that is a positive change and an important step for women's rights.

And when a woman chooses marriage, she has the right to choose when she gets married and who she gets married to. She should not marry simply for the sake of being married.

Women today are becoming more educated, more aware, and more empowered. They are investing in themselves, building careers, developing skills, growing personally, and pursuing opportunities. It is only natural that many of them want relationships with men who have the awareness, intelligence, and emotional maturity to be compatible with the lives they are building.

Her life is not empty because there is no man in it.

In fact, some women would rather be alone than remain in relationships that make them uncomfortable, unhappy, or unable to be themselves. If a woman chooses to be with a man, it should be because he is right for her and because the relationship adds value to her life, not because she feels pressured to be in one.

Sometimes women become so focused on finding a man that they make relationships the center of their lives and end up overlooking everything else.

But life is made up of many things.

You can spend your time building yourself, building your career, learning new skills, practicing hobbies, reading, exercising, traveling, going on solo dates, creating memories, and doing things that make you happy.

Dating and relationships are simply one of the many things that can be part of your life.

If dating is not working for you, or if you have not found the right person, life does not stop. You can continue living, growing, and enjoying your life. It is not a do-or-die situation.

Women have the right and the power to decide what is good for them and what is not.

Marriage is a choice.

Having children is a choice.

Neither of these things should define the essence of a woman's life, her value, or her purpose.

A woman is a complete human being with dreams, goals, interests, talents, and ambitions of her own.

Marriage can be a beautiful part of life for those who choose it, but it should never be treated as the only thing that gives a woman's life meaning.

I had bread topped with avocado and a bowl of yoghurt with oats and banana. Nothing fancy, but it felt nourishing and satisfying. It's the kind of breakfast that makes me feel like I'm taking care of myself.

Honestly, I should make breakfasts like this more often.

Later that day, I made a no-tomato meat stew that we ate with baton de manioc.

The stew is mostly made with onions, green onions (or leeks), and a few other ingredients that give it flavour. It's one of those recipes I started making when tomatoes became ridiculously expensive, and it has remained a favourite.

The best part is that it goes well with almost anything—rice, plantains, spaghetti, baton de manioc, and more.

If you'd like to try it, I've shared the recipe on the blog before:

Nothing extraordinary happened this weekend, but sometimes the simple moments are the ones worth remembering.

A good breakfast. A long walk. A meal shared with family.

Those were my highlights.

How was your weekend?

Hope you are doing well. 

I made beans for lunch today, and my main ingredient is ginger. When I took the ginger to peel, I looked at the ginger I'd bought the other day for 500 frs in disbelief. Ginger has become so, so expensive, and it is getting worse by the day. This is actually the smallest ginger I've bought for 500frs. And I actually bought this in the market where things are expected to be a bit cheaper. 

I remember how much I laughed when the lady mentioned the price, lol. Like, the shock was too much, and I just kept laughing as she explained how expensive a bag of ginger is now. 

I've tried growing ginger in my container garden to no avail. It germinates most times and dies later. I tried putting a few roots to germinate before I plant, as I saw in a farmer's video on Facebook, but it takes a while, and I end up using it to make soup when I no longer have any. I wish to grow a few for real. 

Anyway, it didn't stop me from putting a good quantity in my beans, and the flavour was amazing. Ginger isn't the only ingredient I put in my beans. I have a recipe for beans on the blog; you can check out the detailed recipe on the link below.

After making lunch and finally sitting down to eat, I put on one of my favourite Nollywood movies on YouTube. I watched the movie "Love, Camara, Action" (again) on YouTube and thought of something. So this movie, "Love, Camara, Action" by Omoni Oboli, and "Hearts Over Time" by Bolanji Ogunmola have the same theme—they both talk about love between a younger man and a younger woman. And I realised that they show the problems and obstacles the relationship faces, especially from the external factors like friends, a little family, and society in general.

But I'm yet to watch a movie where they bring a deeper insight into the family reaction. Especially the typical African moms or parents with their expectations. The challenges that such love may face when they decide to announce or introduce each other to their families. Something from that perspective. 

Anyway, I love both movies very much, and I go back to watch them over and over again. Love, Camara Action has the best kissing scene, and still looking for another kissing scene to beat that, lol. I love the chemistry between Yimika and Kido in Hearts Over Time, and their love/kissing scenes are very romantic too, but you see that kiss between Kaine and Ekom... leave it for them, lol.

I made a list of my favourite Nollywood movies on YouTube so far, and if you are looking for something romantic and cozy to watch, the link is below. You are welcome 😊

Hope you enjoy them like I did.  

Hi Radiants,

The funny thing is that this was not some long-planned baking project. We are currently on a strict budget, and I wanted to avoid spending money that day, so I decided to make bread from scratch instead of buying it.

Well...

Harder than I expected.

The dough gave me trouble from the beginning. It remained sticky no matter what I did (I kept adding flour), and I spent most of the process wondering whether I was doing things correctly or completely ruining it.

Since it was my first time, I decided to experiment. I made a few smaller loaves and baked them in the microwave as a test. Then I made a bigger loaf and baked it in a pot.

It cooked through, but it didn't brown the way bread normally does. The middle was a little dry and harder than I expected, though it was still edible. Surprisingly, the kids ate it with chocolate and didn't complain, which I consider a success.

The bigger loaf baked in the pot turned out much better. It didn't brown much either, though the bottom burnt. I think I still have a lot to learn about controlling the heat. But the inside was soft, and although it was heavier than regular bread, it tasted good.

For that loaf, I used salt underneath the baking pan in the pot. Usually, I use small stones when baking in a pot, so that was another first for me.

We ended up eating the bread in different ways. Some of it went with salad, some with cheese, pap, and of course some with chocolate. There was something satisfying about sitting down and eating bread that I had actually made myself.

I had two small loaves left from the microwave batch and thought it would be a good idea to put them in the pot to brown them a little.

It was not a good idea, lol.

Those poor loaves became so hard that I immediately regretted it. They are currently sitting in my kitchen, looking more like decorative stones than bread. I honestly don't know what to do with them.

One thing I noticed was that the microwave loaves had bigger air pockets inside than the loaf baked in the pot. I don't know whether it was because I baked them on a ceramic plate instead of in a baking pan, but it was interesting to see the difference.

Not because everything went perfectly, but because we ended up with bread, nobody went hungry, and I learned a few things for next time.

Would I bake bread again?

Yes.

Will I know what I'm doing next time?

I'm not so sure.

But at least now I can say that I've baked bread.

Hope you are doing well.

It's the long holiday here in Cameroon, and I'm so grateful for the end of another academic year. Both kids are in primary school now, and that's a significant milestone for me as a mom. It reminds me that they are growing, and I'm feeling free again as I raise them to take care of themselves. 

These first few days of the holiday have been characterised by sleeping in. The best part has been turning off my 6am alarm. The first morning I woke up and realized there was no school run waiting for me felt like a little luxury. These days, I wake up when it's time to make breakfast.  

Another thing I'm getting used to is the kids talking and playing most of the time in the house. During school time, I had quiet mornings, and now I'm asking them to tone down the noise most of the time. It's nice to see how creative they are while playing, but the noise at times is not easy, especially while I'm working. 

Talking about interesting things, I baked some bread today! It's my first time baking bread, and it turned out not bad. It was a bit heavy, but it was bread! I was so happy. I struggled with the dough, which was sticky till I baked it. I don't know when I'll try making bread again, but I hope I will get it right next time. 

I have quite a heap of laundry keeping me busy these days, and I hope to finish it soon. Washing by hand is getting more and more overwhelming for me, and I have never considered getting a washing machine like I do now. What makes it overwhelming is that it is time-consuming and tiring, and working after that feels heavy. Also, the time used for the laundry would serve me better for work, rest, or doing something else which is more productive for me. Another chore I find overwhelming is cooking. I enjoy cooking when I don't feel obliged to cook and when the ingredients have been prepped. These are the moments I'm reminded that I need to put in more effort to have a better life because a washing machine and help are really necessities. I've been intentional about building a life that feels lighter and easier. A washing machine may seem like a small thing, but on days when I spend hours washing clothes by hand, it feels like a symbol of the kind of life I'm working toward.  With the kids on holiday, there will be more cooking and laundry, so I have to brace myself to balance that and other things.