Dressing After Baby: Rediscovering Confidence and Style as I Lose Weight
My Journey with Post-Baby Body Changes
My experience with body changes after childbirth is a bit unique. I had a very long belly during my pregnancy. After I gave birth, it wasn't easy for it to get back to how it used to be or even close. The skin was really stretched, weak, twisted and flappy. It made me feel really uncomfortable but at the same time proud of my accomplishment as a mother. This mixed feeling stayed with me for a long time until I started really feeling unhappy about my belly. I've never really had a flat tummy before having kids but it wasn't as obvious as my postpartum belly. I still looked pregnant even at 3+ years postpartum.
Embracing My New Body
I used to wonder how other moms who just had babies managed to look good and young like they never had kids. Not only do they have their normal sizes back, but they can also look good in anything they wear. I struggled with being a mother and taking care of myself to look like I was before. Sometimes, I accepted how I looked, but at times, it was hard to.
This taught me that while postpartum changes are natural and we should feel proud of our journey regardless of body shape or size, it's also important to listen to our desires and make the changes we want. It wasn't easy to continue to be seen as pregnant after giving birth but I didn't let myself dwell only on that. I dressed up the way I could, knowing that I would lose the weight with time.
In Cameroon and other parts of Africa, there are two perspectives on postpartum bodies. Culturally, postpartum bodies are acceptable because our mothers lived with their postpartum bodies and we identify with that as mothers too. On the other hand, our partners and the rest of the world address us according to how we fit the beauty standards or their expectations. Both perspectives are challenging to bring together at times but what matters the most is how you see yourself and what you want for yourself.
Dressing Confidently with a Bigger Tummy
Understanding Your Body Shape:
Postpartum weight can make you look shapeless, especially when you have a big tummy. It can be challenging to dress up when your shape changes like this because your clothes won't fit as before. When buying new clothes, you must consider your new size or shape. It took me a while to realize how much I had added weight, so I kept buying undersized clothes. I remember one time while buying thrift shopping, I was wondering if an outfit would fit. The seller and another client said they didn't think so. The client added that I was big. When I heard that, I looked at myself in disbelief and surprisingly I noticed my real size for the first time. From then on, I was more conscious of my clothing size when buying clothes.
My Practical Style Tips:
Wear high-waisted trousers or skirts, free or loose fitting dresses especially African print dresses like the 'Kaba'. These outfits make it easy to support or camouflage the big tummy without making you feel uncomfortable. Make sure your jeans are not too tight so that you can be flexible in them.
Wearing biker shorts or 'cyclist' under your clothes supports and holds your belly thus creating a smoother look, especially under gowns or dresses.
When going for outings and occasions, wear comfortable, stylish outfits. Dress up without feeling too self-conscious. Take off your mind the pressure that everyone will be focused on your weight or your body. If you are going to eat during your outing or occasion then don't ear something too tight. If you are returning to work, I'll advice you wear comfortable outfits that boost confidence. You don't want to be at work and worry about how your clothes fit.
It's important to have mindset shifts to embrace change during postpartum weight loss. You have to let go of pre-baby expectations. Holding onto an image of your pre-baby body can create unrealistic expectations and stress during your postpartum weight loss journey.
Don't forget to celebrate small wins. Small milestones, like feeling good in a certain outfit, receiving a compliment, or reaching the point of self-acceptance are things to celebrate
Remember your mental and physical wellness. Postpartum wellness should be prioritized. Maintain your health and energy through balanced eating, self-care, or exercise that fits a busy mom’s schedule. Practice body positivity and follow positive influencers or resources who support postpartum body positivity.
My message to all moms is to embrace their bodies first as they try to loss weight, enjoy fashion, and know that they deserve to feel beautiful as they try to lose weight.
What's your experience with weight loss or favourite outfits that make you feel confident as a mom?
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