How to Deal with Not Feeling Good Enough

To heal my fear I started searching for confidence-building content to read, watch and listen to and I found a few good ones. All of them had a common message: "Stop comparing yourself to others".

When I took the time to think about it, it actually rang a bell. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that that's where my problem is coming from.

When you compare yourself to others, all you can see are your faults and this can be intimidating.

I am someone who does a lot of research when I'm starting something new! Like this blog. When I started, I knew nothing about blogging and all I wanted to do was "write on the internet". I didn't even know that it was called blogging. lol

I did lots of research and managed to find my way. I learned a lot from different blogs and used their experiences to make my blog better. 

I discovered really nice blogs with a great social media presence. Their layouts, content and photos are close to perfect and I said to myself "this is how I want my blog to be" "This is the feeling I want my readers to have when they open my blog".

Then I started striving to make my blog as cool as theirs, I want my social media photos to be as nice and professional as well, which is a good thing! And I worked towards that day and night! My blog changed, even became better. But it was not still as good as the other blogs I saw (because I discovered better ones every day, lol). 

That is when I started feeling not good enough. Because I had created a "vision" of what a good blog should be or look like. And that standard had become the other cute blogs I saw. I didn't also think that my blog was cute too. 

I forgot to use my own creative mind and apply my own skills to make my blog mine, and create my own standard. It was all about getting what I saw and what I thought it should be and not doing my own thing which actually will make me stand out and could be the ideal blog for another person.

I got to a point where I was overwhelmed with trying to "meet the standard" and I decided to be myself. To do me. To do things as I please. And to say it's ok to not meet the standard!  

I decided to use the information I got from others and apply it in my own way or personalise it to suit my own vision and desires for my blog. I manage my blog in a way that I think is best for me and not how I see everyone doing it. I have started doing that with social media, and I'm feeling more comfortable with it.

I have dug deep into my creativity and started producing content for my blog and social media accounts which reflects my personality and my way.

So when I got fed up with trying to be good enough (according to other people's standards), I decided to do a few things to regain myself and my creative mind.

I sorted out the intimidating blogs and social media accounts and I unfollowed them. Sorry if you are one of those I unfollowed, it's not a bad thing, well it means that you are good though! lol

I use to follow all the blogs that inspired me and for sure each day they really inspired me with good stuff! But later I was getting too much information at the same time and I even had no time to implement the things I got and it began to intimidate me. So I decided to unfollow and unsubscribe from their email list/social media and it felt good.

This helped me to grow by doing and developing my own thing and gaining confidence in my own work and creativity.

I had fewer emails to read every day and I spent more time working on myself and developing my own content instead of gathering more information that may not be put to use but will only make me feel not good enough.

When my confidence grew, I started to visit some of the blogs I unfollowed and then I realised how much I had grown, (yes I still compared myself to them lol) but I didn't feel as intimidated again.

This even opens me up to new inspiring content when I decided to start searching for new information and has helped me developed my blog in many other good ways.

So it's OK to stay away from someone or something that intimidates you if it is really killing your creativity and willpower. It's not being weak. It's rather retreating to find your inner strength and work better with your competition.

Even if you are intimidated by your friends, it helps to take two steps back and work on yourself. It's hard to move forward when we constantly compare ourselves to others so take away the distraction and focus! You don't need to know everything about their lives on social media so feel free to unfollow them (at least for a while) if it makes you feel better.

I went back to 'how I wanted my blog to be', 'what kind of content I had dreamt of having on my blog', 'what type of interaction I wanted' and 'the kind of atmosphere I wanted for my blog'. And I worked towards obtaining it. This also required research but I tried to make it suit what I wanted to do so that it fits in. 

It was then I realised that I had copied some things that were not very necessary for my way of blogging so I had to get rid of them. 

- Why am I blogging, designing, creating or manufacturing? Why is my purpose of living? Why am I doing this?

This will give you the right focus, vision and direction you should be following and any information you get will have to fit into that vision or should not be considered.

- What kind of person do I want to be?
Find the person you want to be, what you want people to know you for as a person and/or your business (your brand) and work towards it.

Bonus tip* Take things slow. Go easy on yourself. We battle with not feeling good enough every day and in various aspects of our lives and it is a constant fight. There will always be someone better than you (taller, slimmer, happier, richer and more professional than you) and you can't spend the rest of your life striving to be like others. That's so sad. You need to live your life and be you. So don't be hard on yourself and do your own thing your own way! That's how you make a difference.

I hope you learned from my experience and also please share your experience with me in your comment so that other people and I can learn from you too.