Looking back at the toxic relationship I was in, I can now see it as a painful but powerful teacher. It taught me lessons I didn’t know I needed to learn—lessons about self-worth, boundaries, and the importance of putting myself first. At the time, I didn’t recognize the red flags. I was too caught up in trying to make things work, hoping that if I loved harder or did more, the relationship would improve. But over time, I realized that no amount of effort could fix something that was fundamentally broken. Today, I want to reflect on what that relationship taught me about self-worth and how I learned to value myself again.

In the beginning, the relationship seemed perfect. But as time went on, I started to notice things that didn’t feel right. Here are some of the red flags I ignored:

Nothing I did was ever good enough. I was criticized for everything—from how I looked to how I managed my time. Over time, this eroded my confidence and made me doubt myself.

I often felt like I was being manipulated into doing things I didn’t want to do. Whether it was guilt-tripping or gaslighting, I found myself questioning my own reality.

My needs and boundaries were constantly dismissed. If I tried to set limits, they were either ignored or met with anger.

The relationship left me feeling drained and empty. I was always walking on eggshells, trying to avoid conflict or finding the best way to say things without starting a fight.

At the time, I thought other circumstances influenced these behaviours. I told myself that things would get better, that I was overreacting, or that I just needed to try harder. But deep down, I knew something was wrong.

Being in a toxic relationship took a toll on my self-worth. I started to believe that I wasn’t good enough, that I couldn't do anything right, that I didn’t deserve better, and that I was asking for too much. I lost touch with the things that made me *me*—my passions, my confidence, and my sense of self. I felt like I had to shrink myself to fit into the relationship, and over time, I became a shadow of who I used to be.

Leaving that relationship was the first step toward reclaiming my self-worth, but the real work happened afterwards. Here’s what I learned:

A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect. If someone consistently dismisses your feelings, ignores your boundaries, or makes you feel small, it’s a sign that they don’t value you. I learned that I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, no matter what.

For so long, I put the needs of others before my own. I learned that my needs are just as important as anyone else’s, and it’s okay to prioritize them.

Setting boundaries is an act of self-love. I learned that it’s okay to say no, to protect my energy, and to walk away from situations that don’t serve me.

One of the most powerful lessons I learned is that I am enough—just as I am. I don’t need to change myself or prove my worth to anyone. My value doesn’t come from someone else’s approval; it comes from within.

Rebuilding my self-worth didn’t happen overnight. It took time, patience, and a lot of self-compassion. I had to unlearn the negative beliefs I had internalized and replace them with positive affirmations.

Reclaiming my self-worth was a journey, but it was one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done.

Here’s how I did it:

The first step was leaving the toxic relationship. It was scary, but it was also empowering. I realized that I deserved better, and I was willing to fight for it.

I started treating myself with the same kindness and understanding I would offer a friend. Whenever I felt self-doubt creeping in, I reminded myself that I was doing the best I could.

I made self-care a priority. Whether it was skin care, exercise, or simply taking time to rest, I focused on things that made me feel good about myself.

I learned about toxic relationships and narcissism, which helped me understand what I had been through. This knowledge gave me clarity and helped me let go of self-blame.

I celebrated every step forward, no matter how small. Whether it was setting a boundary or trying something new, I acknowledged my progress and gave myself credit.

This toxic relationship taught me some hard lessons, but it also showed me the importance of self-worth. I learned that I deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness—and so do you. If you’re in a similar situation, I want you to know that you are worthy of a healthy, fulfilling life. You are enough, just as you are. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

Take it one step at a time, and remember that healing is a journey. You’ve got this. 💕

What lessons have you learned about self-worth from your own experiences? Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear from you!