As important as it is, I don't like talking about money. I had to come to terms with the money talk recently and it has been a process for me to get to that point. 

It wasn't easy for me to address the details of my financial situation. I just thought I could get a better financial situation without cross-checking and being real with my financial status. The focus for me has always been to make money and not to focus on the actual details that characterize my present financial situation. No doubt I made mistakes with managing my money.

I had a very strict upbringing when it came to money and I was thought to be content with what I had no matter how little. I developed a spirit of managing what I had as much as possible and since I was afraid of coming off to everyone as money-minded, I would not ask for money until I really needed it. I was provided with already bought items rather than the money to purchase them myself. It made the subject of money feel taboo for such a long time but as an adult, I realized that we have to talk about money at a certain point. At a certain point, we have to question our finances to find out what's wrong and right with them and what the future holds for us. This is the point where we are finally becoming financially independent because it's hard to question and look into your finances when you are still dependent. 

Being dependent feels normal until a time when we begin to feel that guilt to take money from our parents or live off someone else's pocket. It can make you feel depressed, stressed and pressured to want to do something to get out of that dependent situation.

This is very normal - I mean to feel that way. The feeling is worse when you try so hard to become financially independent but you fail on many attempts. Or what you make isn't enough to ensure your financial independence. This is worse because it kills you every time when you have to go back to ask for help when everyone knows that you have a hustle or a job. Everyone expects you to be doing well at this point.

Another factor that causes the pressure of being financially independent is age. Trust me you don't want to be getting close to thirty and still be depending entirely on your parents. It feels so stressful, especially in this era of social media where everyone seems to have their sh*t together and have accomplished a lot before thirty. 

That's not an easy thing to deal with. I remember that I had to unfollow lots of people (including my friends) on Facebook some time ago because everyone seemed to be achieving something and I felt my life was stagnant because I compared my life to theirs all the time.  

That wasn't healthy at all as it made me strive to change my life so bad that I wanted a quick change to meet up with the standard. The standard that had been built in my mind was that by this or that age, I should be achieving this or that. I wanted to skip further than my legs could take me and I failed many times because I was motivated by the wrong thing. 

The things I wanted were not exactly what I wanted instead, they were things that I saw that looked good on other people. I mismanaged the little I had in order to look like all was well and I was getting my sh*t together. But underneath, things were rather getting worse because I was only increasing my financial problems and making my financial situation worse.

I spent money on things I didn't really need at the moment and I didn't want to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't a fully independent babe yet. I had a struggling business that went on and off for a long time and I was tackling school, my blog and life too. It became so stressful at one time that I became so discouraged. Everything I was doing wasn't working. While I tried to portray (and fool myself at the same time) that my life was intact, I was working out ways to back it up. But it wasn't working. 

Like I said earlier I don't do the money talk (not even with myself) but I was forced to do so when I realized that it's time to level up my finances and live my best life. 

I had to look myself in the eye and tell the truth which is that I wasn't doing well and I needed an upgrade. Here are a few things I looked into.

I mentioned this already but I will emphasize it because it is the start point for change. I had to accept it. It is really hard to accept a situation that you are not used to. While being dependent I lived well and alright but when I took the road to independence, things changed and my financial situation dropped. 

I had more needs and less money to spend. Money was now going into my business, my blog and other things. It wasn't just food, school and monthly bills anymore. Other expenses added up. This changed my situation. I began to struggle even more to manage my money. 

It took me a long while to realize that I was in a real mess and that I needed to think about reassessing my finances.

I didn't analyze my entries and exits of money. I just lived like that. When I received money, I rushed to solve the next pressing problem without analyzing how that expenditure will affect me. And I think that was my main problem with my finances. I would have some money now and later I am already broke and sometimes in debt.

I now realize it's important to know your streams of income and how much these streams of income give you, then know how you spend it so that you don't go broke. It's also important to take into consideration the duration of each stream of income to come in. Is it a monthly, weekly or daily income? How certain is this income to come in? Some incomes are not as certain to come in on time as others are so it's risky to depend on them.

Those are a few questions to guide you analyze your financial entries and exits. Knowing how much you make or receive in a month will help you to know how to spend and invest your money without going completely broke. 

Assets and liabilities are not only meant for the accountants. It is meant to be understood by everyone who wants to manage their money well. This here is all about spending or what you are spending your money on. Are they assets or liabilities?

Assets are valuable and useful things you own that help you generate more value in the form of income or any other value. While liability is like a debt like your monthly bills and loans. I hope I defined them well without sounding too technical.

So you see that it's better to have more assets than liabilities. If you stop increasing your liabilities like health, gas, phone, internet, water and electricity bills then you can have more money to invest in assets that are good. 

Also, you need to know the kind of assets to invest in. Some assets increase in value while others decrease in value over time. Assets like land or a house increase in value over time but a car will decrease in value over time. 

When it comes to simple things like clothing and cosmetics, invest in pieces that will take longer to wear out so that it becomes cheaper for you over time. At least I practised this one already, especially with my clothing and accessories like my bags. I have pieces in my wardrobe which are as old as six years and are still in a good state because they are of good quality. 

After all this analysis, you need a plan. You need to use the knowledge you acquired about your financial situation to make changes that will take you to a better financial level. 

Calculate how much money you need monthly for your present and future (combined) expenses, investments and savings. How much do you need to spend, invest, refund or save every month? If you already know your total expenses, then you may decide to invest a certain amount and then save a certain amount monthly.

When you know this then this will be your financial target to reach each month. When you multiply this amount by 12 months then you will know how much you need to make in a year. 

If you meet your yearly income target before the year runs out then that's great. This can also help you track your expenses to see if they are increasing, decreasing or the same. If your yearly target income is increasing but your expenses are increasing as well then you are not making progress financially. Also, calculate the total amount of money you are expected to save by the end of the year and track your progress as you save. 

Consider your abilities, skills and opportunities while doing your plan. Also, consider your future plans for investments and family plans as you plan your finances.

I want to highlight here that it takes time to become independent financially so don't expect to get on your feet with a snap of the finger. 

It is a transition, an evolution, a progression and a metamorphosis from dependence to independence. It takes time. Don't be fooled by what you see on the internet of people getting financial independence right after college and all that yadda about getting financially independent by a certain age.

Don't even let that make you question your life for a minute. Keep working on yourself to get the financial freedom you seek. Hard work and patience are still such good virtues.

If you are still dependent while you work your way towards independence then I would say don't feel too comfortable but don't feel ashamed about it. If you still live with your parents or they still send you money for upkeep, don't let that make you relax your efforts and don't feel ashamed about it. 

Just do what you have to do to get out of that situation because that is just a transition period. It's not meant to last forever but it can take a long time too. 

But I am happy to share all the details with you about levelling up your finances. This is still January. Or whatever month in which you read this post it is not too late to start making drastic changes to better your financial life. 

I hope to share more real and practical tips with you on that as time goes on. I hope you enjoyed this post and don't forget that you can always share your thoughts with me in the comment section below.

If you already read my post on Where To Start Leveling Up Your Life, then you should be wondering how to go about your level up the journey. If that's true then this post is for you.

Levelling up is not a destination but a journey.

How To Level Up Your Life

Assess your life.

Make an honest assessment of your current life. Most people know that they need an upgrade but still convince themselves to think that they will be fine when they get that job or a salary raise or some more love and attention from whosoever.

But in reality, their whole life or most of their life is a mess and they are living a lie. You may think that a job with that company is all you need to make life better meanwhile you hate working for others. You may think that the salary raise will convince you to love that job that you hate so much but it won't. You may think that all you need is more love and support from your loved ones but your real problem is that you have low esteem. Think of the actual problem you need to level up from.

Do a deep assessment to find out what things in your life need a change. Ask yourself what mistakes you are making right now and how it is affecting your life. Also write down the challenges that you face daily, monthly or yearly and how you would want to change.

This is to help you know what you want your level up to look like and what you want to level up to. This leads me to my second point.

Determine What You Really Want.

Now that you know how bad (or good) your situation is, What do you really want? What do you want to be known or seen as? What title(s) do you want to be attributed to your name? What do you want to do in your career? Do you want to make a change or addition to your life?

Know that this point is all up to you. It is based on what you really want for yourself. How you want your brand to be. What you want to invest your time and energy in for a very long time.

Think about your image and who you want to be like. Find your role models. It's easy, especially with social media.

Research, Verify & Learn.

After knowing what you want for your levelled up life, do your research and verify if what you really want is achievable. This is where you have to be a bit more realistic.

Find out if there are other people who have done what you want to do and have succeeded. Learn from those who have done so.

Learn from those who are levelling up or who have levelled up their lives. Find blogs, watch videos, and seek coaching.

Make A Plan.

You need to make a plan and set goals. Give yourself a time frame to achieve them. Elaborate on how you are going to achieve them.

Implement.

Apply what you have learned. It's not enough to read all the self-improvement books out there. You need to implement and do. You need to try out the advice given to you during your research and find out which one works for you.

Work on your plan and try to achieve your goals.

If you fail is one thing, don't be discouraged, just switch to another one or change your strategy. Be patient and work hard.

This stage involves starting a business for example if you always wanted to be an entrepreneur. It is about doing the things you need to do to level up your life.

It could be going to the gym or starting eating right to have that healthy lifestyle you always dreamt of having so that you can boost your confidence. It could also be going back to school or taking that course to get your dream job.

You need to start working on the things you planned to do in order to get the changes you desire.

Evaluate.

Do a weekly, monthly or yearly evaluation to find out how much progress you are making with your life. Are you ticking your goals?

As much as you should be a goal digger, remember that it is also normal to fail and try again. Don't beat yourself up so much when you don't win all the time no matter how late you are in life and want to catch up on life or what you have missed.

Related: How To Overcome Feeling Like you Are Late In Life

Avoid Comparison.

Don't compare yourself to your peers or those people you see on social media. I know this is hard (I make that mistake too) but when you catch yourself comparing yourself to anyone, just acknowledge it and remind yourself that you are not on the same journey and there is a reason why your life is different.

Also, stay consistent. 

Consistency will take you very far. You cannot level up if you are not consistent with what you do to level up. The journey will be tough but being consistent will get you to success.

Those are my tips on how to level up your life. I hope you use them (it's what I use too) and get the best levelled up life.

Related: Where To Start Levelling Up Your Life

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!

I'm so glad that we made it into the new year. There's a lot to share and I am so excited.
While you are already making your first steps toward keeping your New Year's Resolutions, you should consider reading this post I made last year about 5 New Year's Resolutions Worth Sticking To. It is a list of evergreen resolutions you should consider taking every new year. Click here to read.


I noticed that some people are resolution oriented while others are theme-oriented this new year. There are still a lot of people who make resolutions but more people are choosing to go with themes now.
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I personally think this is because resolutions come with a lot of pressure and people are trying to cut out the extra pressure from their lives by choosing themes that take tiny actions put together to achieve.

For example, some people may just want to level up their lives this year 2019. That's a good theme. Or they may just want to live a more fulfilled life this year. That's also another great theme for the new year. I did a post on 10 Best New Year Themes To Adopt  This New Year which you can check out to see more examples of themes you can choose to make your year more meaningful.


I'm not making new goals or resolutions this new year because I am still working on those I made one year ago. Somethings are just not achievable in one year - I realized. Some goals are long-term - one year is a long time but some things take longer than one year to be realized.

So I am not blaming myself for not achieving the things I didn't achieve last year nor will I let myself feel like a failure. I am simply moving on by still working towards achieving those goals I made one year ago.

But I have a theme which is to keep levelling up in everything and aspect of my life. I started the level up journey last year and I'm going on with it this year. I levelled up a lot of things about myself last year and this year I am extending the level up theme to this year by sharing my tips right here on my blog so stay tuned by subscribing in order not to miss any post.

My advice to you this year is to continue working on your goals or resolutions which you made last year as long as they are still useful to you. If you want a fresh start without pressure then choose a theme that works for you and make the necessary efforts to make it work. Remember that only the numbers have changed, every other thing in your life is still the same so you have to continue working hard to change your life to what you want it to be.

Wishing you a Happy New Year once more.

It also helps me follow up on what other bloggers are currently up to or doing and this is a great inspiration for me to keep blogging. It helps me to find new ideas and see how to improve my blog too.

The Reader List tool on Blogger is found on the right of your dashboard. You can get the links of blogs you like to follow and add as many as you want to your list so that you stay in touch and are inspired by your favourite blogs.







Hope you find this feature useful. Comment below and leave a link to your blog so that I can add you to my reading list.

Leadership is the ability to impact and leave your mark in the lives of people. That's why leadership must be intentional. 

Those were some of the words of Dr Madison Ngafeeson, the organizer of the Leading Lady Conference which took place in Yaounde from the 6th to the 7th of July 2018.


This conference was a new thing to me and for most of us who attended because in Cameroon, events that encourage us (women) to discover ourselves, know our worth, follow our dreams and live intentionally in order to impact the lives of other women are rare.

The Conference

Generally, the conference was good. The speakers were inspiring. We had talks, breakout sessions and time to network. There were 2 breakout sessions with three classes going on at the same time during each session. We had two hours for networking after lunch on the second day of the conference. 

It was such an inspiring conference and I hope it has set the pace for more like this to come. 

We had wonderful speakers like Dr Ngafeeson Madison himself, Pastor Frankie Powell and Dr Lisa Prudy Wafo whose success story almost brought us to tears. The other speakers took us through classes during the breakout sessions.

From all the inspiring stories told during this conference, there was one thing they had in common. That was leading intentionally. Which in other words means intentionally impacting the lives of people by living your God-given purpose.

We are all leaders because we have someone who looks up to us for one thing or the other. We have to lead them (impact their lives) but we are not often intentional with our leadership and therefore our impact is not really felt by those we lead.


Dr Madison told us the story of how his life was impacted by the women in his life. And this impact made him the man he is today. And he asked a very important question which was - what if these women had not played their role of leadership in his life? He definitely wouldn't have been the person he is today. That's why it's important for women to lead intentionally so that we can have a greater impact on the lives of others.

Today I will be sharing with you how to lead intentionally and create an impact that can change other people's lives.

The Lessons

1. Know your purpose

In order to lead, you need to know who you are and what impact you want to make in the world. And that implies you need to know your purpose. Your purpose is that thing you are sent to do in the world. Your reason for being here. It's what drives you, what motivates you, puts a smile on your face, what makes you cry or what brings you joy and fulfilment. It's the essence of your life.


Every woman (and man) has a purpose. And as Pastor Frankie Powell said:

There is a difference between success and significance. Your success may not have any significance, but if you live a significant life you'll be successful.

These words sank so deep into me because I think the same. Your purpose sets you aside from the others. It's the most unique feature you have because no one can live your purpose better than you.

Frankie Powell went further to say that if you discover and live your purpose, no one can also be as good at being you as you. And that God gives us a purpose we need to discover.

Here are a few questions he shared to help you find your purpose. So ask yourself the following questions:

- What makes me cry or sad when I hear it?

- What makes me angry or frustrated?

- What makes me laugh, happy or excited when I see or hear it?

And to summarize all these questions, WHAT ARE YOU PASSIONATE ABOUT? WHAT DO YOU ENJOY DOING AND WHAT ARE YOU GOOD AT DOING? This means you should add your passion to your gift and get your purpose.

Don't forget that your purpose is about impacting the lives of other people. Your purpose is meant to change the lives of others for the better. The situation you were born in, whether good or bad is tied to your purpose.

The poverty and pain you experience are meant to forge and direct you towards your purpose. The obstacles you face like obesity, poverty or handicap are linked to your purpose because your success will inspire those going through the same problem. They will know that if they keep working hard they will overcome every obstacle as well and become as successful as you.

So end the chapter of living a life without purpose, turn the page and start writing a new chapter of living your purpose.

2. Strive to be better than the generation before you and be intentional about it

I will like to sum up this point in five important words: "WORK HARD" and "NEVER GIVE UP".

Dr, Lisa Prudy Wafo told us her very touching story of how she left from nothing to something in life. She explained all the obstacles she faced along the way which brought her back to point zero every time. But the one thing that made her successful today was her hard work and the fact that she never gave up.

The road to creating an impact on people's lives and being a leader is not easy. Others have tried and failed some succeeded but you need to strive to be better than those who came before you.



Like Dr Lisa Prudy said in reference to her story:

It's not my fault that I'm born in a poor family, but if I die poor then it's my fault.

It's better to die while trying than to give up. It's your responsibility to think and be better than the previous generation.

3. Be dynamic, think global and stay relevant to the world

During the breakout sessions, I joined the career woman class and it was really eye-opening and inspiring.


Dr, Bame Patience gave us great advice on how to stay relevant in the job market. She mentioned the following points:

- You have to be prepared. 

Like she said:

PREPARATION + OPPORTUNITY = BREAKTHROUGH




You have to be ready for the opportunity so that you can qualify to get it.

- Acquire skills and not just knowledge.

Develop skills that are needed in the 21st-century labour market which is the age of technology. This century is filled with the replacement of human labour with machines so develop skills which require you to do critical thinking because machines can't do critical thinking.

It's not enough to be knowledgeable. You need very practical skills that you can use or show someone. I think this point is very true because when university graduates finish school, they have the knowledge but very little skills. They also don't know how to transform their knowledge into skills. So we need to develop skills from our knowledge or learn new skills to develop a good career.

Develop global skills that will make you available in the global job market.

- Be a flexible career woman in the 21st-century

Like she said, employability is much more than having employment. It is being able to transit from one job to another, unlike our parents who had and kept just one job from the beginning until the end of their careers. Like she said:

Over your career life, you may need to be a cameleon many times

So you adapt to the changes you meet in your career.

- Develop a reading spirit. 

You need to read a lot to have more knowledge and skills that will help your career.

- Be intentional about your career and do what it takes to get to your goal.

- Come out of groups which don't serve you. 

Surround yourself with people who inspire and motivate you to succeed.

- Find a partner that supports your career. 

Because it is motivating and makes things easier.

4. Think ahead of others. Be smart.

The Business Lady class was fired up with knowledge by Nina Ngasa, a successful entrepreneur who shared her story as a businesswoman. Here are some of the lessons from her story:

- Be a visionary

Have a bigger plan and think ahead of your competitors. Have a good plan and a business idea.

- Set the pace

Think smart. Make use of the problems we have in society to create a product or service that solves that problem. Come up with new ideas and set the pace in your market. This will help you conquer the market.

- Develop your brand

Don't just sell your products but develop your brand to keep your customers coming back.

- Sell with confidence

Have confidence in your products and sell them with confidence.

- Ignore those making a mockery of you.

Ignore the naysayers and those making a mockery of what you do. Don't be ashamed to do an activity that brings you an income even if it is seen as downgrading by your peers and friends. Don't be afraid of what people will say about you selling to earn a living.

5. Know how to handle life's detours along your path

In order to be a leading lady, you need to know how to handle life's detours or obstacles. Embrace your detours and find opportunities in the problems you face in your life.

Let your detours shape you like a stone which is transported by a river with high currents. The stone may be knocked against other stones as the river transports it but in the end that stone will become a very smooth and shiny stone. And when people see it they will want to pick it up and put it where everyone can see and admire it.  Let your detours make you a better person.

Looking back at the case of Dr Lisa Prudy, her obstacles shaped her and directed her to her purpose. Every detour she met was a step closer to the successful woman she is today.

Believe that there is something better after every detour because your detour isn't a dead-end in life. So embrace your detours, let them shape you, learn the lessons from them and allow them to transform you into the person you are meant to become.

Detours come sometimes to change us into better people and stir us in the right direction. To respond to detours with wisdom. At this point pastor, Frankie Powell told us that to be a leading lady you have to learn to deal with problems and make your problems work for you. He said our problems stand in front of us like fire and we all have a bucket in each of our hands to use on it. One bucket has water and one has gasoline. When you have problems or detours we have the choice to pour the contents of one of the buckets on our problem.

Your reaction to your problems is like having water and gasoline in both hands. Some of our reactions to problems only make the problems bigger and worse. But if we take time to understand the lessons of our problems as we find a way to solve them then we will make the most of our problems.

6. Live intentionally

To live intentionally is to decide to aware and conscious of how you live and all the things you do with your life. Living intentionally is a decision. For example; If you want a happy and fulfilled life then you start to do the things that will make you feel happy and fulfilled. You don't wait for someone else to make you happy. This goes same for your purpose and leadership.


You have to decide to lead and impact the lives of people with your purpose and then find ways to realize it. Don't let things happen to you by chance. But make it be on your side by doing all that you need to do to have the life that you want to live.

Things I liked and disliked about the conference

- The Content

I was generally satisfied with the conference at the level of the content. It was really enriching, inspiring and eye-opening. The speakers had stories that taught great life lessons.

- The Duration

I think that two days wasn't enough for such a huge content. it should have been at least three days. The second day was really tiring because the program was really long. Putting everything in one day made us finish in the night which I didn't really like.

- The Food

I didn't like the food. The food was small and we had just one meal throughout the day. No water during the conference except during lunch. Maybe the funds were not enough but it wasn't nice to stay the whole day on that little food.

- The Breakout Sessions

The breakout sessions were great! We had three classes per session and each person could attend just one class because all three classes took place at the same time. It was hard to choose a class to attend for each of the sessions but the ones I attended were superb. I really wish we had more time in the break out sessions so that we could ask questions.

- Logistics

The organization was good. Our notebooks had some branding thing going on and it felt good to have a book made for the conference. Honestly, from the moment I got the book, I started to feel like my money was worth it.


The program was printed directly in the book which was great but I wish I was given the detailed program before the conference.

- The Music

This was really great. There was worship time, a great saxophonist and a gospel artist called Aunty Clo who made the event soulful and joyful. It was so nice to hear my favourite of Aunty Clo's songs called "My friend Jesus". Apparently, it was everyone's favourite as everyone stood up and sang along with her.

- The Certificate

This was a great surprise. We were given beautiful certificates at the end of the conference and it was really awesome. This is a reminder that I am a leading lady and I have to continue to live my purpose.

- The Meet-ups 

This conference gave me the chance to meet new people as well as friends I haven't seen in a while like Marie Abanga who is a coach, lawyer and also a blogger. I also met my friend Yensi Helen who I interviewed on my blog. You can read that interview here and get to know this amazing young woman who helps women suffering from domestic violence.

Helen, Marie and Me (from left to right).

This is how it happened at the Leading Lady Conference. I hope you learned a thing or two from this post. Thanks for reading and please leave your thoughts in a comment. Do share this post with other women and men who need to learn how to lead intentionally.