I believe friendships or relationships, in general, are easy to keep when you are young. As you get older and life becomes more and more complicated it becomes hard to maintain any kind of relationship. Be it with family, friends or a lover. 

That's why today I'm sharing with you a few tips to help you keep your relationships strong as an adult.

How To Maintain Strong Relationships As An Adult

Ask yourself if the relationship still serves its purpose

Every relationship we have or keep has a purpose. The purpose of your friends is to keep you company, share ideas or advice or help each other out one way or the other. For you to maintain a great bond with them you need to find out if over time your relationship still serves you or them. Same with family and other loved ones or acquaintances. 

It's not necessary to keep strong relationships if they are of no benefit to you financially, mentally or morally. 

Keep in touch as much or as little as you can

Staying in touch is obviously the best way to maintain a relationship. But it can be tricky because as we get older we become more occupied or we travel so far or we don't have the means to stay in touch.

So just try to maintain your relationships by staying in touch as much or as little as you can. Some relationships don't need everyday calling and visits while others need that. So give the right amount of attention to each relationship. 

Prioritize your relationships and make an extra effort for the most important ones

You need to know which relationship is the most important and put in the right amount of effort to make it work or to maintain it for your benefit.

As we grow older we have less time to spend so it is important to give our attention to the right relationships. I hope these tips work for you and you build strong relationships with people.

If you are in a relationship or aspire to be in one, it is very important to consider the love language of your partner.

Understanding Your Partner's Love Language

How to know your lover's love language

Can you love them according to their love language?

I'm currently listening to many songs but the one I was listening to while starting to write this post is No stars by Daré. It's amazing jazz. 

Wishing You A Wonderful Week Ahead And Some Small Talk

Today is Sunday and I'm trying to make it a chilled one. My week has been a stressful one even up till Saturday. I'm adapting to a new job and it's not easy sometimes. It's still in my domain and passion of social media but it's in a domain I am not used to. I have tried my hand at it but gave up a few times because it is quite demanding. But this time I'm trying to adapt and learn from it. I also need the extra income so we need to make this work.

If you read my post on the weather, you will understand that the rains have been playing with us these days in yaounde. But yesterday it rained like it meant business and this morning it felt good to wake up to a fresh environment. I hope the rain stays consistent this time.

Talking about being consistent, I missed going for my walk yesterday. I mentioned in this post here that I go for daily walks to care for my mental health. I believe it was caused by the rain and work.

Apart from the rain and work that have been occupying me this week, I have been really occupied with the thoughts of what to do with my hair. I feel like my current hairdo is overdue and I want to change it but I don't know what style to do. I have been going back and forth between raster (braids) or another pass-meche (cornrows). My head is paining from thinking about it. I finally just decided to not change my hairstyle for at least another month. But a moment ago I still felt like doing my hair. I'm just confused.

One thing I wasn't confused about doing today was making breakfast. We did some general food shopping yesterday and among the things we bought were some bananas. Today it inspired me to make some banana puff-puff or beignets as I called it in this post where I shared the recipe. We ate our delicious banana puff-puff with some cornflour pap or fufu pap. It's been ages since I ate fufu pap so I enjoyed it.

I'm happy I had the time to talk with you guys today. I want us to go to our daily blog posts but at some point, I just didn't know what to say to you guys. Since my blog is about my lifestyle, thoughts and knowledge I just felt there was nothing new happening for me to tell. My life is made up of breastfeeding, diapers changing, work and worrying about my financial future. It feels like a routine most times that could be boring if you keep hearing me talk about the same things all the time. But I intend to find the little details that make my day or week and share them with you. Like I did in this post. 

If you have some time you can check out my youtube channel where I have lifestyle vlogs and personal development videos for African women. I also recently uploaded a vlog about my journey to having my second baby by CS. And while you are at it do subscribe if you like my content. Thank you.

I enjoyed the cold weather today. It rained a little yesterday. Today we had no sun and no rain weather. 

Let's Talk About The Weather

It felt good to put on warm clothes. Something I haven't done in a while. We have had days of excess heat lately. It's not been easy to fall asleep in the heat. I'm glad the weather has changed.

When it's cold or rainy I always want to get into bed and watch a video, movie or read interesting blogposts. Like this awesome post about parenting: Parenting isn't meant to be easy. The post is so real and true. If you are looking for an accurate description of what parenting is then you should read it whether you are a parent or not. I hope you love it like I did.

It was nice talking to you about the weather in Yaounde.

Hope this post meets you well. How are you doing? 

I'm doing well and I am happy to write to you today.

I am at one month postpartum and recovering from the birth of my baby by CS has not only been physical but mental as well. 

So today I am sharing with you the ways in which I care for my mental health at this stage of my healing.

5 Ways I Care For My Mental Health At 1 Month Postpartum

Going for daily walks

Sleeping and resting

Watching and listening to ASMR

Eating balanced meals

Blogging

Here are our affirmations for the month of April. Hope you love them and they work for you.

Positive Affirmations For April 

I am worthy of this new month.

This month my life is balanced physically and spiritually

I am growing in all areas of my life this month

This month I am living in abundance

I am conscious of myself and my surrounding 

I am conscious of everything happening to me physically and spiritually

I am brave in times of fear and uncertainty

My goals for this month of April are valid 

My goals for the month of April are achievable

This month I am healthier and wiser

Those are great affirmations for the month of April. Remember you have to work hard for what you want to achieve and believe in yourself. 

For more affirmations for all circumstances visit my positive affirmations blog Ngumabi's Glam. Click here to visit.

Hi guys and a happy new month to you.

Happy New Month | Hope You Are Doing Well

When did 2021 start that we are already in the month of April?

I hope you guys are doing well though. We have been putting our ears to the ground to hear the announcement of any major event that will turn our lives upsidedown like Covid19 did. 

I am glad that so far there hasn't been any major thing like that again. Though the world is still battling with eliminating this disease, I believe most of us are adapting to the changes it has brought to our lives. Surviving this pandemic is already a miracle so you are doing well.

I have been away from the blog for a month and I'm glad to e back. Click here to read this post to know why I have been away all this while.

I hope that we can go back to our usual daily posting. I enjoy posting every day but if I can't post daily I'll still make sure I post many times every week.

I just wanted to know how you are doing and wish you well this month.

How are you doing? I know it's been a few weeks since I posted a blog post. That's because your favourite lifestyle blogger is now a mom of two! 

I had baby number two a few weeks ago on my birthday 🎂. Yes, while others are making wishes and blowing candles on their birthdays I was having a C Section and giving birth to my son. What a way to celebrate and I got the most priceless gifts for my birthday. He's such a cute boy.

These past weeks have been painful healing weeks for me. The pains of the c section were all over my body. I've also been able to get over the fear of the surgery and acknowledge my bravery in the course of facing my fears. 

I thank God immensely for his protection and healing mercies. If not for him I will not be here.

I Didn't Want Another C-Section | Life Update | Having Baby Number Two (Preparation & Healing)

I didn't want to have a c section again.

Writing this makes me remember the knife and scissors that cut open my belly.                                  

I almost saw the process through the reflection of the mirror of the lamp above me. But I looked away. I didn't have the heart to witness it. I hate the sight of blood. 

What I realized at that moment was that there comes a time when a mother has to be strong for their kids. And indeed that moment when I was awake, lying on the operation bed, waiting for my baby to be born and shown to me was one of the most frightful moments for me. But I'm glad I got through it despite the desire to ask them to make me sleep through it. 

And it paid off. I saw my son first (this time before other family members). And it was worth it because that was a special never-experienced-before-moment for me.

Four days after putting to bed

But a few weeks before this moment, I was between hospitals seeking a favourable response. I wanted the doctors to tell me that I could give birth naturally. I wanted to have a natural birth or vaginal birth. 

When my first doctor started telling me about the possibility of another C section, I went to see a second and a third doctor to get other opinions. They shared the same reason why I should have another c section and I was convinced or rather felt like I had no choice.

Preparation

There was a lot of last-minute preparation and I wish we didn't have to wait till the end to get a lot of things done. In the end, I ran from hospital to hospital, doing tests and finally preparing for the c section. Lucky enough we bought the last things the week before I gave birth.

Minutes before I got into the theatre to have my baby.

We also did a lot of washing and general cleaning of the house to receive our little one.

Healing

We spent five days at the hospital. At the end of it, I was glad to go home. The house was a bit messy but I was so happy to be in my space. The calmness and fresh air were nothing compared to the hospital ward I shared with many other women who had to give birth by C-section. Being home helped my healing progress a lot. 

On our way back home 🏡

Reuniting with my firstborn

I thought I could go back to blogging already. OMG, that was such a joke. My body needed to heal. I was still in pains and felt weak. I could not walk straight and my big postpartum belly made sure of that. It weighed so much on the incision and shortened my breath. I need not say that I couldn't sit up for long as well. I also had headaches when I sit up and sleepless nights.

How was I going to write a blog in this condition? I simply listened to my body and accepted that I needed to heal first. It's been a month and I feel way better. I go for walks to help my body heal fast and to get used to walking again. I eat balanced meals to ensure I find the strength to endure all my daily activities. I don't push myself too hard but I still wish I could do more than I am doing now. This is mostly work-related as I am eager to get back to producing more content, and replenishing my shops by purchasing and creating new items.

I'm happy for the progress, I'm grateful for those around me helping me and seeing my two kids bond every day makes me happy. 

Being a mother of two comes with its own joy and I am adapting to the difficulties one day at a time. I'm learning from my experience every day.

I know I didn't make my pregnancy public and that's just a personal preference that I chose for both of my pregnancies. But I knew that I was eventually going to share the news with you.  As for showing my kids online, it's something that I admire but I will not be doing. They may appear partially in some photos or videos on my Youtube channel. I hope you guys understand this preference and still enjoy the content I make.

The rising popularity of influencer marketing in Africa has encouraged more young African women to desire the influencer lifestyle. These influencers share the best parts of their lives in beauty, fashion and lifestyle. They are sometimes called dream sellers because of the expensive lifestyles they often portray.  This has got many African women wanting to be like them.

Who wouldn't want to get paid while living their best life? 

Watch my video on this topic by clicking here.

But just like any other job or occupation, being an influencer in Africa has got its good, bad and ugly sides. 

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly Of Being A Female Influencer In Africa 🌍

The ability to make money from being famous or having fans is the best part of being an influencer. Brands or enterprises pay influencers to do adverts on their pages and accounts. They may also get free products from brands that they work with or attend events and get paid for their presence.

But in order to get to this level, you have to invest in your own social media branding and get many followers or fans. This requires lots of investment in terms of internet data, knowledge and time. You need to share images, captions or videos of something about yourself or something you know about in order to pull the attention of your audience and get them to follow you. And to build a huge following it takes time.

The other side of being an influencer is the trolls or haters as we commonly call them. Dealing with people who say hurtful things about you or your work can be hard to deal with.

One thing that most African female influencers are often referred to is prostitutes or girls seeking rich men to sleep with.

It is hardly believed that they work hard for some of the things they got. I say some because at times these influencers don't own everything they show. They may rent them or borrow or get them for free.

My favourite female influencers are Muriel Blanche and Nathalie Koah. They are Cameroonian influencers and entrepreneurs. Their humble beginnings compared to where they today inspire me a lot. Another influencer I admire is the Nigerian mom and relationship expert, Blessing Nkiruka commonly known as Blessing CEO. She also inspires me a lot.

These women gained popularity as a result of the things they do or did. It was good for some but it started out bad for others who had scandals to deal with. But the good thing is they turned their lemons into lemonade. They cleaned their images and fought for a better future for themselves. And today they are making a positive impact in the lives of other women.

Those are the good, the bad and the ugly of being an influencer in Africa.

If it is your dream to become one, I hope that you are aware of the opportunities and the risks you expose yourself to with this job.

In my opinion, it is a job worth trying but be ready to be consistent and patient as you show your audience the knowledge that you have.

Social media is the current economic pillar in the world. 

It is fast becoming Africa's new agriculture. Most youths are leaving the farm life for e-commerce. 

If you are looking forward to making the internet your source of income and opportunities then here are a few ways to do so. 

Want to watch instead of reading this topic? Click here.

How African Women Can Use Social Media To Their Advantage

To sell their products

African women are very entrepreneurial. They run small businesses here and there and they need more customers to make earn more money from it.

If you run one or more of such businesses then social media is a good place to market your products. 

Create a page or account and share pictures or videos of your products or services with your friends and followers. 

To make money through influencer marketing

Influencer marketing is the new career of social media. When people become famous on the internet, they use that status to sell products from brands and enterprises on their platforms.

If your dream is to become an influencer then you can make money from it after gaining a loyal audience.

To create opportunities for themselves

African women can use their social media platforms to showcase their talent in order to create opportunities or expose themselves to new and better opportunities out there.

Being talented is not enough. You need the right opportunity to help you blow as we often say, lol.

That's how African women can use social media to their advantage.

There are many people on social media and more are joining every day. You have to move to where people are focusing their attention to make it.

Watch my video on this topic by clicking here.