I cringed after reading this story because she feels responsible for her husband's decision to expose himself to temptation and takes to cooking in order to not loose him.

A few questions also came to my mind. Did her husband share the same spoon with his colleague before she started bringing a second spoon? How did they even get to the point of sharing food daily ? Why didn't he tell her earlier, I mean when he started eating with her? And where did he get the courage to tell his wife about it considering that he should have told her way before his colleague started bringing an extra spoon for him? 

If food is a means by which your husband can be 'collected' then your husband should not expose himself to that temptation as well. I also think that it's manipulative to tell your spouse or partner what someone else is doing for you which they could do in that manner. It can make them feel less confident or insecure. 

Cooking for one's husband is a good thing and it doesn't matter the time of the day you choose to do it. But the reason why the cooking is being done is important. Waking up at 4 am to cook because you are afraid that they will use food and 'collect' your husband in my opinion is an extra burden which is unnecessary. We work to keep a relationship alive every day and both parties have to do their own part. One person should not take the responsibility of keeping the other like women do with men. 

To me the husband had the choice to decline the colleague's offer to share her food and kindly ask his wife to make him food so that he can go to work with. I know some men will ask 'what if the wife refuses if she's asked to make the food? ' but that's a conversation for another day.

What are your thoughts about this issue? Please share in the comments. 

This morning I read a post about someone who realized he no longer had his good friends around after he made a list of guests to invite to a party he wanted to organize. He said it was due to the exodus of most of his friends abroad for a better life and related the problem to the difficult conditions of living in the country which pushes people to leave. 

I feel touched by his post because it made me remember that I am almost is the same kind of position. My case may be a bit different because I still have some of my close friends in the country but they are in different towns. In addition, most of us have become mothers and also have careers that makes it difficult for us to see even when we are in the same town. Death has even made the distance further for some of us and the circle of friends that once used to be together is now dispersed. 

It can be hard to make new friends for some people and I'm one of them. And when I say friends I mean good quality friends like the one the author of the post I read was referring to. Good friends like the ones I had who are now far away time and distance wise. 

I have never been intentional about making friends - maybe I should. The friends I've had started from being a good classmate or a good neighbor with whom we clicked and with time they proved they were trustworthy. I still love and consider them my friends and look forward to catching up when possible. Building a life is not easy and I believe we still pray and wish each other well as we focus on our busy lives for now. 

I also guess that time where we made friends naturally is gone now. But how do you make friends intentionally? Honestly that's is a million dollar question for me. 

Do you have a circle of friends? How do you relate with them now that you are grown and busy? 

Well, don't worry. You're not alone.

As women, we're so used to being told that we can do anything ourselves that when people tell us that we need a man in our lives, we just think they're being sexist or trying to undermine us or whatever. But actually, it's totally true: all women need men in their lives. It's just that no one wants to admit it because it sounds like "you need a man to make you complete." But what I mean by "man" is not necessarily a particular type of man—it could be your dad or brother or best friend. It's just someone who can help you get through happy or tough times and make sure everything is okay.

The idea of being an independent lady without needing a man is a powerful one. But is it really true that women don't need men? I mean to be involved romantically with someone. The answer to this question depends on each individual woman's circumstances and values. While some women may be able to live happily and successfully without relying on a man for financial or emotional support, others may find that having a partner can improve their quality of life in meaningful ways. It's important to remember that no matter what your situation, there is no right or wrong answer to this question - only the answer that works best for you.

So when a woman says she doesn't need a man she's not proving tough and when she says she does need a man she's not weak. They are just being human.  

But most times, once the guy has got the girl, he really doesn't put in any more work to make sure he stays as romantic and cheerful as when he was courting her. I think men need to put some more work into seducing women too.

Seduction should come from both sides of the relationship - male and female. I don't know about you but I get bored and tired when I'm not seduced. 

I love a man who loves to take care of his body. It's sexy! He must not be the show-off type but let him love his body enough to want to maintain those abs or that flat tummy. Just like women make the effort to do the same.

On most blogs and articles about how to seduce a man, there is always the tip asking women to be confident in order to be sexy. How about male confidence for a woman to find that sexy? 

How about putting on tight and short boxers while at home? Or to bed? Let's see some sexy, firm, black (or white) masculine butt and have a peep of the things we often only get to feel. 

Huh, ladies? Isn't that sexy?

How about doing sexy things to catch our attention? I still want to see you look at me like you did when you first saw me, or on our first rendezvous, or the amazement I saw on your face when I first smiled at you, laughed or said yes to our first date.

We need to see it again. And again! Because that's what we fell in love with. That's what keeps us awake all night...yeah, thinking of how much you were looking forward to spending time with us. 

Hold, carry, play, stare, caress, cuddle, love and just seduce us. For Christ's sake, it's not a crime!

Women deserve to be seduced just as men get seduced by women. We need men to make that effort for us.

Facebook is a social media site/application that helps people connect and share ideas, photos and videos.

Facebook has gradually become a place where all sorts of relationships have developed. From reunions to making new friends and even meeting life partners. It has also produced professional relationships as well as fraudulent ones called scams.

It (Facebook) has become the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's a place for people to make, create or destroy a reputation.

Despite its problems, some people still manage to find love there. Love can happen anywhere.
A lot of people use Facebook to find romantic relationships.

Personally, I don't like being asked out on Facebook. I think dating sites are meant for that. But if it has to be done on Facebook, then let it be done the right way.

Tips on how to create a romantic relationship on Facebook.

Tips for guys: How to ask a girl out on Facebook

So you saw her gorgeous pictures on Facebook and want to try your luck? Here are some tips for you.

- Introduce yourself:

This is so very important. It shows politeness and genuineness. Introduce yourself with your name, location, profession, etc.

It's not enough that your name appears on your profile or that your messages come with your name above it. You need to introduce yourself like you would do to a girl you met on the road for the first time. It's polite. It also builds trust in the person you are talking to and makes her want to keep talking to you.

- Don't ask all personal information questions in a row:

What's your name? Age? Where are you from? What do you do? Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you live alone? Where are your parents? What... etc.

All at once? Please DON'T! It's not an interrogation! We are not at the police station. So slow down!

Imagine someone you have never met asking you such details about your life. You can ask her name and where she lives. Maybe go further to ask what she does. Just a basic introduction is necessary for a start. The rest you can discover in the course of another conversation.

- Start a conversation to build trust:

Yes, after you introduce yourself, you start a conversation.

To spark up a conversation;

* You can ask how her day went,

* Ask about the town in which she lives (how is *insert town's name* today, for how long have you been living in *insert town's name*),

 *Compliment her (you are beautiful, I love your photos, I love your posts because they sound intelligent/useful, etc)

These ideas are meant to help her to get familiar and comfortable with you. It also makes you more interesting and easier to remember. Don't forget you may not be the only one asking her out on Facebook or even face to face.

Your conversations can go on for a few days but make it often and leave some offline messages in case you don't come online at the same time.

 

- Don't just assume but tell her how you feel about her:

It's time to let the cat out of the bag after building her trust. Tell her what you want from her. Let her know the feelings you have for her. Use the tricks you would normally use if you were able to see her. You can ask for a date or an outing with her to talk more about it. This approach makes you look more serious and mature. If she wants to go out with you on a date then you can ask for her number to make arrangements.

- Please, don't ask for sexy photos:

Or any even normal photos of her.

It's annoying.

Really.

She has lots of pictures on her profile that you can look at. If you are not yet that special to her then why should she send you other photos?

- And pleassssssssse, keep photos of your d**k to yourself:

Don't send photos of your cock. I beg you don't do this. She might likely stop the conversation or block you.

2. Tips for Ladies

I know that there are arguments on whether or not ladies should ask men out but it's already happening and some men do appreciate it. I think it's ok to do so depending on how it's done. So whether you are man-hunting or not here are a few tips you can use to find love on Facebook ladies.

- Check out his profile

- If he is the one 'toasting' you, ask him to introduce himself in case he doesn't.

- Make sure you know him a little before giving him your phone number or going to meet him face to face

- If you are the one doing the hunting then follow the tips I gave above for guys

I hope these tips help all the 'attackers' on Facebook to finally find love.

Today we need to talk about the type of men we let into our lives as African women. For a long time now we kept repeating certain mistakes our elders made because they didn't know better. But now we have to see the light and follow it. 

It is essential to break that pattern of dating the worse category of men in your life (I feel like a pastor now). You can do this by avoiding this category of men. 

If you meet a guy who tells you this, run for your dear life because he is a heartless man. Even if he says he loves you so much. 

When a man loves a woman he doesn't put her through the trauma of trying to compete with another woman. And to imagine that he tells you this to your face! OMG. 

When he can't decide you should be the one to leave his confused state of mind and not join him in ruining your life and wasting your time.

So ladies, value yourselves enough to avoid or remove this kind of man from your lives. They are not good for you and you will go through a lot of hell if you keep staying with them.