For a while now a Nigerian lady has been trending on X (former Twitter) because she tweeted that she started waking up at about 4:30 am to cook lunch for her husband who told her that his female colleague who has been sharing her lunch with him started bringing a second spoon for them to eat together.
I cringed after reading this story because she feels responsible for her husband's decision to expose himself to temptation and takes to cooking in order to not loose him.
A few questions also came to my mind. Did her husband share the same spoon with his colleague before she started bringing a second spoon? How did they even get to the point of sharing food daily ? Why didn't he tell her earlier, I mean when he started eating with her? And where did he get the courage to tell his wife about it considering that he should have told her way before his colleague started bringing an extra spoon for him?
If food is a means by which your husband can be 'collected' then your husband should not expose himself to that temptation as well. I also think that it's manipulative to tell your spouse or partner what someone else is doing for you which they could do in that manner. It can make them feel less confident or insecure.
Cooking for one's husband is a good thing and it doesn't matter the time of the day you choose to do it. But the reason why the cooking is being done is important. Waking up at 4 am to cook because you are afraid that they will use food and 'collect' your husband in my opinion is an extra burden which is unnecessary. We work to keep a relationship alive every day and both parties have to do their own part. One person should not take the responsibility of keeping the other like women do with men.
To me the husband had the choice to decline the colleague's offer to share her food and kindly ask his wife to make him food so that he can go to work with. I know some men will ask 'what if the wife refuses if she's asked to make the food? ' but that's a conversation for another day.
What are your thoughts about this issue? Please share in the comments.
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This is a great post. Indeed, cooking for one's husband is a great thing and every woman should find joy doing so. But when it is done mainly to prevent him from being taken by someone else, the burden is too huge and the risk of uncertainty on the side of the woman is too high.
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