I remember when I was a child how eager I wanted to grow up and become an adult. It seemed like such a long time then but here I am all grown up and wishing I was a child again. I miss being so carefree and innocent. Even though I have all the freedom I was seeking and I'm done with the dreaded 7:30am to 2:30pm school days.

I wanted to grow up and change the world. And no this is not cliché, I really meant it. It wasn't clear to me how I was going to do it but I wanted to be known as a life-changer; someone who brings change to people's lives in any way. My creative and innovative mind at the time proved that.

Then time passed and adolescence came accompanied by the talks about boys and pregnancy and then marriage. 

What bothers me so much at this stage of life is how all these talks come up suddenly when your menstruation begins. Menstruation is the last stage of the process of maturity in a girl, why not begin 'the sex and boys talk' way before it comes? 

Anyway, this is the stage I automatically stopped feeling like a child. That was it I had become a woman. Just like that. Womanhood couldn't be complete without the presence of boys. 

It was awkward to start getting male attention and dealing with it. It was normal to just sit there and wait for male attention as a teenager, I mean when all the advice you get is "concentrate on your books and forget about men" what else do you expect to do? 

But when the rhythm changes to "you need to find a husband or at least a serious relationship so that you can get married by the time you graduate from school/university", then sitting on your bed and waiting is no longer the norm. Either directly or indirectly we ladies feel or hear or go through this sometime in our twenties. It really breaks my heart so much right now that girls even younger than twenty are feeling this pressure these days because this is the point where we girls begin to lose ourselves.

In my case, I met guys I really liked and that I was ready to do and go through almost anything to keep in my life. And in the course of this, little by little I forgot myself and only focused on pleasing them, meeting their expectations and becoming their dream girl. By the time I was done with one relationship, I was so empty. I had no self-esteem, no plans (since all my plans were made with them) and no future for myself. All I wanted was to find a better person to love me again so that my esteem would come back and my life will be better.

That was the biggest lie I ever told myself. Yes, because every other relationship that I went in with the objective to get my self-esteem lifted and trying to be the perfect partner so that I can be loved unconditionally in return only made emptied me the more and made me feel worse. I walked out, even more, drained even though I got a few days, weeks or months of' happiness' from the relationship. 

I realized that I couldn't please anyone completely and I only became less of myself when I please others. Pleasing others didn't help me in any way so why go on doing that?

That's when my priorities changed. I shifted the desire to please others to myself. I decided to be selfish in order to love for just a while. Then I realized just how much I had put aside in order to make others happy. My life, my dreams, my desire to change the world!

I let others change me instead. My desire to become the ideal girl made me nobody at the end of the day. I didn't know who I was and who I wanted to become, I lost my value and didn't know how to set boundaries. How would I set the boundary if I didn't know where to draw the line?

My prayer is for most young girls to know that they do not need to go into relationships ready to please a man so that he can love them better. You don't need to do that honey. Even if society makes you think that it's your submission, obedience, patience, tolerance and fulfilment of his every demand that'll make him be with you and make your relationship last forever. That's Bullsh*t! 

Do you boo! Be yourself. Don't change who you are or suppress your dreams to make a relationship work.

Think of how energized and inspired you were before you started dating at all and go ahead and bring that energy back. What were your aspirations then? What did you want to become then? Who did you want to be? Do you have new dreams you want to pursue? Go ahead and pursue them and never give it up when you find love.

If somebody won't stay because you are being yourself & living your purpose then their love is not big enough!

 

I hope this inspires just one girl out there struggling like I did and needs to find her way back to who she really is. 

Last night, I went out to jog as I usually do. Before I stepped out of the house I realized that I wasn't feeling as to jog at all. I had the same feeling the previous day and I blamed it on the cold weather. It actually took some convincing to step out into the cold to go jogging.

I jog three times a week. I usually go jogging in a field nearby. It takes 10mins to get there. While on my way there last night, I realized that despite the lack of motivation, I still stepped out to jog and I completed my three times jogging for the week.

It really made me feel fantastic. I felt so good about myself. That's when this thought came to my mind 

Even if it is just stepping out like in my case. Or going there just for the sake of it. That's a step. There are times I go out to jog telling myself that I will only walk when I get there because I wasn't motivated. But I end up jogging and jogging well the whole time when I get to the field. This often makes me feel so proud of myself and motivates me to keep on because the times I really enjoyed jogging are not the times I left the house really motivated but when I wasn't. 

I hope this serves as motivation for you to keep moving even when you don't have the motivation to do so. 

Who is a mentor a coach and a counsellor? This post will help clarify the differences between these words.

These three terms are often used in the place of each other because people think they mean the same thing. Their definitions are not very different but there exists a clear difference between what a mentor, a coach and a counsellor do. 

This clarification will also help you understand which of them you need to work with in order to guide you through your career and life. 

A mentor is a resourceful person you can depend on for general guidance and advice concerning life or career. It's a person who challenges and helps you with self-development. S/he helps you to become a better version of yourself, to grow and stay motivated to be successful in life goals. 

A mentor is more of a generalist because he doesn't really focus on one aspect of your life but he inspires you to think and come up with your own systems and methods to work and achieve your goals. S/he guides you to grow positively and gives you constructive criticism.

S/he may ask you questions that will motivate you to discover yourself and know yourself better. S/he guides you to find new inspiration for your life or career. As well as help you discover new ways to manage your weaknesses and strengths. 

A mentor can also be a role model because they are usually solicited because of their experience in life or a domain that they practice in or a domain that they seem to have a lot of knowledge about. 

A coach works just like a mentor but s/he is more specialised in one domain of your life. That's why it's possible to have many coaches like a sports coach, a voice coach, a speech coach, a love coach etc because they are very specific and qualify in a particular domain. They show you step-by-step how to obtain the results you want and they guide you along. Coaches are more task-oriented compared to Mentors.

Coaches can be very specialised and may focus only on one aspect of a particular industry. For example, in sports, we have different coaches for every sports type. There are also specialized coaches in each sports type. 

So when choosing a coach, you need to have to know the kind of results you are expecting to get from them so that you can choose well. 

A counsellor on her part is focused on the problems you face and how it affects your life. They help individuals get out of their psychological and personal problems. They are also looked upon as a confidant.

Counsellors just like coaches specialise in various aspects for example; marriage, education, depression, etc.

I've been wanting to ask you:

When are you going to start that project you've been working on? When will it be ever perfect for the world to see and benefit from that great idea of yours? Do you know that the more you keep it away from us the more we are deprived of the benefit of your talent? Do you know that the more you keep it away from the world, the less experience you and know how-how you acquire? 

People say sharing is caring, I say sharing is growing and developing. You need to start sharing that idea you have been working on to enable it to grow and develop. It will not grow into anything while it is still on your table, in your bag or in your head. You have to stop over planning it and start doing it. 

I know you may have planned from start to finish but how will you know if it will work if you haven't tried it? It doesn't matter if you did a market survey or not, just start. If you fail, you'll learn.

I want to share a story with you. When I started this blog, I had no idea what I wanted to blog about. I read a lot about types of blogs and niches but still couldn't decide on what to focus on. So I decided to just start blogging till I figure out what I really wanted. I am really happy I started this blog two years ago because I have gained experience with the blog and I have grown. I would definitely still be a novice if I had to wait to figure it all out before starting. 

This year, I found my focus for my blog which is Women Empowerment Coaching through Personal Development and Lifestyle blogging. When I think of how excited and passionate I am about it, I also think about how much my previous experience in blogging will help me to be more efficient. 

I want to encourage you to launch whatever idea you have in mind for a while now by taking the first step. If it is a blog, create it then go find something to blog about. Is it a business? Then make your first product and show the world what you can do. Don't bother about how crazy it may look, the feedback you'll get will enable you to grow, learn and direct you on how to produce better and more refined products.

The best time to start is NOW! All the best honey.

I have used many life and motivational quotes to understand and express my feelings during daily affirmations or mantras. They have worked a great deal for me. It's amazing how a set of few words say so much about you and summarize your life, personality or way of thinking. Life quotes are the best.

Today I'm going to share with you quotes for strong and ambitious women that I love so much. Here we go!

1. This quote really defines the qualities of a strong woman. A strong woman is a go-getter no matter her environment she makes effort to have a better tomorrow and to make an impact on her generation.

6. Lady Gaga is so correct in this quote. A man should not make you choose between him and your career in the first place. She said it so right.

































17. We are strong like that. There are no excuses or obstacles anymore. Life doesn't end when we have kids. In fact, having kids is the new motivation to go out and work.



18. Transform your stumbling blocks into stepping stones and reach even closer to your goals. Let nothing bring you down.

My favourite definition for a Go-Getter Girl is this:

Being a Go-Getter is synonymous with being ambitious. It's intriguing how I feel so empowered when I'm referred to as a Go-Getter Girl. Go-Getter comes with a plus which is the ability to go get what you want and not wait for it to come to you. Being a Go-Getter makes me feel like I have been given wings to fly to anywhere I choose and get whatever I want.

I am a lover of freedom, physically and mentally. I love to feel that I can do anything, think of anything, dream and achieve anything. When I feel restricted, I find it hard to be creative and I can't be myself. 

This contributes to making me unique. I can have a dream and work towards achieving it because I know that I am free to do so. 

Everything I have now was once only a dream. This blog once existed only in my head. The progress I have made as a blogger was once a dream and I had to be a Go-Getter to take it to this level. 

Go-Getters would try all the things they dream of doing. There are so many things I have tried because I imagined them. I failed in some and succeeded in some. I also came to realise that I love some things more than others. 

This has given me even more certainty in what I'm doing now and where I'm going in life. I have no regrets or wishes of "what if I had done this or that" because I tried doing the things I had only once dreamt of.

From good to bad, everything I tried has taught me a different lesson and has made me grow. Every experience has contributed to making me the better person that I am now.

Being a Go-Getter makes you want to step out and experience all kinds of things. Even if you are still finding your path in life, still be a Go-Getter. It will help you discover your true self and set you on the right track in life.

Go-Getter Girls find the road to success, eventually. It takes a lot of work and persistence but surely you will get to the road to success. 

Anybody can become a Go-Getter, anyone! All it takes is to know who you are, know what you want and decide to achieve it. 

I want to encourage all the ambitious girls who are working hard to make their dreams a reality. You are not alone. Keep working because tomorrow, your story will be an inspiration to other young girls who look up to you.

There are lots of contradicting information out there about pursuing your dreams. But I am a great supporter of following your dreams. I just can't imagine a world without dreamers. 

There will be no innovation and if there is any it will be by accident. Who wants to live in a world like that? Definitely, not me. To live in a world where there are no people who are passionate about something can be depressing. 

We all should have dreams. We have to do what we love to do. Live the life we want to live. What are your dreams? What is your dream life?

Great achievements start with a dream, an image or thought that kept someone awake all night. Then they become goals and later achievements. 

The story of Joseph in the bible is a good example of a dreamer who became a high achiever. But is it enough to just dream? Or only imagine the things we want to achieve in life? In this post, I will show you how to make your dreams become a reality.

To achieve a dream you have to have a dream. You need to have a vision of what you want for your life. A vision a general image of what you want to achieve.

How do you see yourself living in the next 5 or 10 years to come? What do want to invest your time, money and energy in? What lifestyle do you want to live?

Here are some questions you should answer while having your vision.

2. Find a role model(s) of your dream life

Who are those in the world or around you who are already doing what you dream of doing, living the way you want to live?

Are there people who are already living the life you dream of having? Is there someone you know who has your dream job or your dream career?

Find those people and learn from them how they did it. Read their life stories to know how they became who they are. Now, this doesn't mean that you should copy their lives but just get the lessons they share about their lives and use their story as a guide to finding your own path.

3. Find out what you need to do to realize this dream

Finding a role model is just one step to achieving your dreams. But sometimes there could be no role model in the field you want to go into. While finding one, do a lot of research concerning what you want to do.

I will strongly recommend the internet because it gives you a wide variety of (false and correct) information so be careful. Information on the internet is frequently updated so you will have access to current information in your field.

Also talking to a mentor and learning from your role model(s) is highly recommended as mentioned earlier.

Here are some key questions to ask yourself at this stage: What skills do I need to achieve my dream? Do I have the said skills? How can I get/work on this skill to help me achieve my dream?

Read books and blogs to find out how to become who you want to be. Also, attend seminars and workshops related to what you need to know.

4. Set your Goals

Decide how and when to start taking action to achieve your dreams.  Don't wait to be perfectly equipped to start working towards your vision.

Make a plan. Here are some key questions to answer: What skills am I lacking and what resources do I already have? How do I use what I have to start achieving my goal now? 

Break your major goals into smaller ones and make plans to achieve them. Remember that every little action takes you closer to your main goal. Give yourself a time frame to realize your goals.

5. Take Action on your goals: Put the knowledge you acquired to use

This is the most important part. It's not enough to make plans. Plans won't realise themselves. Put all the knowledge you got to use.

Start doing the things you are meant to do in order to achieve your dream. Do some self-development, acquire the skills needed to achieve your dream and practice to make progress.

Take action towards your goals such as; taking an online course or training, start working with your mentor, start working on your personal brand, start investing in that business idea, etc.

6. Evaluate your efforts

Use your time frame to evaluate how close you are to your goal.

Most importantly don't give up! There will be challenges but don't let it discourage you. You may experience delays and lose confidence when you don't meet up with deadlines but just take a break, remember why you are doing this (your vision) and keep going towards it.

Hope this motivates you today. 

I read a phrase yesterday that reminded me that 'God already made me the best version of myself and it instantly changed my way of thinking about myself. 

I'm all about self-improvement and striving to be better. But I do get lost trying to improve myself. This is because I want to be more lovable to others. Meaning that I'm focusing on improving myself for others. This is wrong! It has only made me the worse self-critic ever!

This morning I found myself judging my abilities to do things and not feeling good enough because I was thinking of what people will say and how they will judge me. So I began to judge myself even before they did. I was so hard on myself that I even felt hurt. Then I remembered the words I read yesterday. So I looked myself in the mirror and repeatedly said; 

To look yourself in the eye and tell yourself things you can't believe is really challenging. But you need to try it because it's uplifting. I feel so good now and I know this is not the end of my self-critic mind. But I believe that this is a good start to counter it. 

We need to spend time building a relationship with ourselves as individuals. We never get the time to talk positivity into our own lives. We never decide to spend time looking at ourselves in the mirror to admire our physical beauty nor do we reflect on the times we let our inner beauty shine. 

Give yourself some credit. Congratulate yourself! Look at yourself in the eye and truly say "I love you". All the praises and encouragement we give to others, we need to hear it from ourselves too when we succeed. But we rather tear ourselves apart by auto criticizing and pointing out where we went wrong rather than what we did right. 

Always ask yourself this when you feel that you've messed up; 

I bet if your loved one messed up you will rather correct them with love. You will instead see the things they did right than wrong. And you will remind them that they did well and that life isn't perfect.

Then why do you want to kill yourself when you get it wrong. Remember that God already made you in the best version of yourself even with your mistakes and shortcomings. Even if people say that you are too emotional, you are already the best version of yourself. Even if everyone says that you are too afraid and can't do anything without fear, still know that you are already the best version of yourself. 

You are already at your best, whatever improvements you make to yourself are meant to take you to a higher level because you are already the best of yourself. 

Stop criticizing who you are. You have enough critics already out there. Don't join them. You don't deserve that. You are making enough effort and deserve to be encouraged. 

I hope these words encourage you and make you understand how unique you are and how much the world is lucky to have you in it.

This was meant to be the caption of an Instagram post but the words just kept dropping in my mind and I kept writing them till I had no more characters left. So I made it a blog post instead. 

Talent can't compete with ambition. Those who succeed are not necessarily the most talented, but those who keep working at something till they make it.

Everyone has got a talent. But ask yourself why some people succeed in an industry and others don't. This is because those who succeed work hard on their talent to develop and project it to their audience. They used hard work to polish their skills and become better at what they do. 

That's when you became successful with your passion. Having talent and not lifting a finger to make it better and impact people with it is as good as having no talent at all.

Ambition gives you the drive, courage and resources you need to succeed. An ambitious person will go out in search of the skills necessary for her success if she is not talented. She will work at what she doesn't know till she masters it because she has the drive and desire to succeed. She will find those who can help her strive in the industry she is working hard to dominate. She will work on reducing her weaknesses and increasing her strengths in order to become the best.

I believe that having talent is important to succeed but talent needs to be backed up by hard work. She who does something continuously gets good at it, masters it and becomes an expert in it.

So have your talent, passion or dream. It is good. But make sure that you put in enough effort to make you succeed. Your dreams will not materialise on their own. They need your effort to become reality.