A quiet beauty restoration, in progress
Doing beauty within my means
One thing I’m really proud of is that none of this has been extravagant. I’ve been doing beauty the way my life currently allows—slowly, intentionally, and within my budget.
Last year, I made a decision to start doing my hair myself because I was on a budget. Salon visits weren’t something I could always afford, and instead of giving up entirely, I adapted. If I did cornrows at the salon once, I’d keep the lines and redo them myself for weeks. When I couldn’t go at all, I braided my own hair. I tried to stay neat, presentable, and put together compared to the time I was still healing from the trauma of being in a toxic relationship. It wasn't easy, but I also had fun grooming myself.
It wasn’t always perfect, but it was consistent, and that mattered. The braids and cornrows didn't always come out perfect, but I looked better. I felt better about myself when I made efforts like this for myself. I got used to looking good again. Sometimes you get used to looking like your problems, and it's not good to get comfortable with that over time. Yes, when you are healing, give yourself time to grieve, but as you begin to find your strength, add little doses of grooming activities. It will help you feel better and heal well.
Related: Maybe I'm Not Used to Being Fine Anymore (vulnerable post)
Now, I’m thinking of making banded wigs myself with the hair I already have. It's an easy hair option and another way to look good without overstretching myself. I watched a few YouTube videos, and I think it's something I can do. That's it for now until our budget allows us to outsource.
Skin care: going back to what works
My skin has probably been one of the biggest changes.I made the decision to go back to something old and familiar—glycerin. I’d written about it before. Honestly, that choice changed everything for me. My skin became softer, more hydrated, and more even. The roughness reduced. The dryness eased even more. It was really a good addition to my skincare.
Before applying it, I mix it with my body lotion. A few months ago, I used an affordable hydrating baby lotion, which was alright.
Recently, I decided to try another body lotion I've wanted to use—Vaseline Intensive Care Coco Glow.
Fashion, body, and learning myself again
I’ve mostly been dressing for the body I have now. My postpartum belly is still prominent, but since losing some weight recently, certain clothes are starting to look better on me. I look more feminine. I'm glad with the progress. I stepped up a little by wearing cuter and sexier outfits when I go for things like dates, but I stay conscious of my belly, so I opt mostly for dresses to camouflage it. Short dresses for sexiness and to draw attention to my legs instead of my tummy.
At home, I feel freer and can wear anything I feel comfortable in. For school runs and normal day errands, I wear a kaba (a free ankara dress), and that's when the real mother side shows now lol. I want to look better, but I no longer feel completely shapeless.
I’m somewhere in between right now—not fully slim, but no longer where I was. And honestly, that middle space feels hopeful.
Confidence, returning
I don’t feel as exposed and judged anymore. Before, I felt like I had disappeared into survival mode.
Now, I feel like I’m re-entering the world. Gently. Carefully. One lotion, one hairstyle, and one outfit at a time.
I still want more. I still imagine certain things that would make me feel even more polished, more embellished. But I’m a mother. I have responsibilities. So I'm doing it at my pace and means.
And that’s okay.
Still in progress—and proud of that
I’m still working on my style. Still learning my body. Still restoring myself layer by layer.
But I wanted to mark this moment—this phase where I can finally say: I’m improving. I’m softening. I’m coming back to myself.
Hope you enjoyed and learned something from this post.
Thanks for reading.
Ngumabi.
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