How are you doing? I know it's been a few weeks since I posted a blog post. That's because your favourite lifestyle blogger is now a mom of two! 

I had baby number two a few weeks ago on my birthday 🎂. Yes, while others are making wishes and blowing candles on their birthdays I was having a C Section and giving birth to my son. What a way to celebrate and I got the most priceless gifts for my birthday. He's such a cute boy.

These past weeks have been painful healing weeks for me. The pains of the c section were all over my body. I've also been able to get over the fear of the surgery and acknowledge my bravery in the course of facing my fears. 

I thank God immensely for his protection and healing mercies. If not for him I will not be here.

I Didn't Want Another C-Section | Life Update | Having Baby Number Two (Preparation & Healing)

I didn't want to have a c section again.

Writing this makes me remember the knife and scissors that cut open my belly.                                  

I almost saw the process through the reflection of the mirror of the lamp above me. But I looked away. I didn't have the heart to witness it. I hate the sight of blood. 

What I realized at that moment was that there comes a time when a mother has to be strong for their kids. And indeed that moment when I was awake, lying on the operation bed, waiting for my baby to be born and shown to me was one of the most frightful moments for me. But I'm glad I got through it despite the desire to ask them to make me sleep through it. 

And it paid off. I saw my son first (this time before other family members). And it was worth it because that was a special never-experienced-before-moment for me.

Four days after putting to bed

But a few weeks before this moment, I was between hospitals seeking a favourable response. I wanted the doctors to tell me that I could give birth naturally. I wanted to have a natural birth or vaginal birth. 

When my first doctor started telling me about the possibility of another C section, I went to see a second and a third doctor to get other opinions. They shared the same reason why I should have another c section and I was convinced or rather felt like I had no choice.

Preparation

There was a lot of last-minute preparation and I wish we didn't have to wait till the end to get a lot of things done. In the end, I ran from hospital to hospital, doing tests and finally preparing for the c section. Lucky enough we bought the last things the week before I gave birth.

Minutes before I got into the theatre to have my baby.

We also did a lot of washing and general cleaning of the house to receive our little one.

Healing

We spent five days at the hospital. At the end of it, I was glad to go home. The house was a bit messy but I was so happy to be in my space. The calmness and fresh air were nothing compared to the hospital ward I shared with many other women who had to give birth by C-section. Being home helped my healing progress a lot. 

On our way back home 🏡

Reuniting with my firstborn

I thought I could go back to blogging already. OMG, that was such a joke. My body needed to heal. I was still in pains and felt weak. I could not walk straight and my big postpartum belly made sure of that. It weighed so much on the incision and shortened my breath. I need not say that I couldn't sit up for long as well. I also had headaches when I sit up and sleepless nights.

How was I going to write a blog in this condition? I simply listened to my body and accepted that I needed to heal first. It's been a month and I feel way better. I go for walks to help my body heal fast and to get used to walking again. I eat balanced meals to ensure I find the strength to endure all my daily activities. I don't push myself too hard but I still wish I could do more than I am doing now. This is mostly work-related as I am eager to get back to producing more content, and replenishing my shops by purchasing and creating new items.

I'm happy for the progress, I'm grateful for those around me helping me and seeing my two kids bond every day makes me happy. 

Being a mother of two comes with its own joy and I am adapting to the difficulties one day at a time. I'm learning from my experience every day.

I know I didn't make my pregnancy public and that's just a personal preference that I chose for both of my pregnancies. But I knew that I was eventually going to share the news with you.  As for showing my kids online, it's something that I admire but I will not be doing. They may appear partially in some photos or videos on my Youtube channel. I hope you guys understand this preference and still enjoy the content I make.

The rising popularity of influencer marketing in Africa has encouraged more young African women to desire the influencer lifestyle. These influencers share the best parts of their lives in beauty, fashion and lifestyle. They are sometimes called dream sellers because of the expensive lifestyles they often portray.  This has got many African women wanting to be like them.

Who wouldn't want to get paid while living their best life? 

Watch my video on this topic by clicking here.

But just like any other job or occupation, being an influencer in Africa has got its good, bad and ugly sides. 

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly Of Being A Female Influencer In Africa 🌍

The ability to make money from being famous or having fans is the best part of being an influencer. Brands or enterprises pay influencers to do adverts on their pages and accounts. They may also get free products from brands that they work with or attend events and get paid for their presence.

But in order to get to this level, you have to invest in your own social media branding and get many followers or fans. This requires lots of investment in terms of internet data, knowledge and time. You need to share images, captions or videos of something about yourself or something you know about in order to pull the attention of your audience and get them to follow you. And to build a huge following it takes time.

The other side of being an influencer is the trolls or haters as we commonly call them. Dealing with people who say hurtful things about you or your work can be hard to deal with.

One thing that most African female influencers are often referred to is prostitutes or girls seeking rich men to sleep with.

It is hardly believed that they work hard for some of the things they got. I say some because at times these influencers don't own everything they show. They may rent them or borrow or get them for free.

My favourite female influencers are Muriel Blanche and Nathalie Koah. They are Cameroonian influencers and entrepreneurs. Their humble beginnings compared to where they today inspire me a lot. Another influencer I admire is the Nigerian mom and relationship expert, Blessing Nkiruka commonly known as Blessing CEO. She also inspires me a lot.

These women gained popularity as a result of the things they do or did. It was good for some but it started out bad for others who had scandals to deal with. But the good thing is they turned their lemons into lemonade. They cleaned their images and fought for a better future for themselves. And today they are making a positive impact in the lives of other women.

Those are the good, the bad and the ugly of being an influencer in Africa.

If it is your dream to become one, I hope that you are aware of the opportunities and the risks you expose yourself to with this job.

In my opinion, it is a job worth trying but be ready to be consistent and patient as you show your audience the knowledge that you have.

Social media is the current economic pillar in the world. 

It is fast becoming Africa's new agriculture. Most youths are leaving the farm life for e-commerce. 

If you are looking forward to making the internet your source of income and opportunities then here are a few ways to do so. 

Want to watch instead of reading this topic? Click here.

How African Women Can Use Social Media To Their Advantage

To sell their products

African women are very entrepreneurial. They run small businesses here and there and they need more customers to make earn more money from it.

If you run one or more of such businesses then social media is a good place to market your products. 

Create a page or account and share pictures or videos of your products or services with your friends and followers. 

To make money through influencer marketing

Influencer marketing is the new career of social media. When people become famous on the internet, they use that status to sell products from brands and enterprises on their platforms.

If your dream is to become an influencer then you can make money from it after gaining a loyal audience.

To create opportunities for themselves

African women can use their social media platforms to showcase their talent in order to create opportunities or expose themselves to new and better opportunities out there.

Being talented is not enough. You need the right opportunity to help you blow as we often say, lol.

That's how African women can use social media to their advantage.

There are many people on social media and more are joining every day. You have to move to where people are focusing their attention to make it.

Watch my video on this topic by clicking here.

Tomorrow's success depends on today's investments. 

That's why you have to work on your future right now. 

As African women who want to succeed in life, there are things we ought to do to achieve success. Success doesn't happen by chance. Success is the result of a series of calculated steps. 

In this post, I share with you things you can do in the present to guarantee a successful future. 

Watch the video on this topic instead by clicking here.

How African Women Can Invest In Their Future Now! 

Decide to invest in yourself and your future.

Make the decision to invest in yourself. Everything starts with making a decision. 

Deciding to invest in your future now will make you determined to succeed.

Be disciplined and focused

Discipline is important to be able to attain success. You need to stay focused on your goals and avoid distractions. 

Create routines or systems that work for you. And stay disciplined so that you follow them.

Work hard

Put in all your energy and make it work. Do what it takes to succeed. Don't give up.

Have a vision or a dream

You need to have a vision of what you want or what you are working hard for. 

You need to dream to get the goal or vision for your life. No matter what people tell you about dreams not coming true, don't believe them.

Network

Find people who can help you and network with them. 

Stop keeping friends who can't help you level up professionally. Stop spending time gossiping with your friends. But find people who can impact and improve you intellectually.

Find and create opportunities

If opportunities don't come your way then look for them. 

Use social media to showcase yourself and your talent in order to create opportunities for yourself.

Have faith 

Believe in yourself and your abilities. Even if you are not good at what you do, struggle to improve and keep having faith that you'll succeed. 

Know that; Your present situation is not the end of your life. You can always rise and make a change.

Wishing you all the best on your journey to success. 

If you want more details about this topic watch the video by clicking here.

I've been running my Okirika clothes business for a while now and I just want to update you guys on how it's going and the challenges I'm facing right now.

Click here to watch my video on this topic 

Running An Online Okirika Clothes (Thrift) Shop In Cameroon (Africa) | Challenges So Far

The running of the shop

So this shop sells Okirika clothes for kids and adults. 

I used to run the kids and adults part as two separate businesses but lately, I decided to merge them because I created a new business called Ngumabi's Closet which sells brand new readymade clothes.

My tasks involve going to the market to select the clothes from heaps of Okirika. Then I wash them after buying them. Then I take pictures to put online for sales. 

I often post on the business page of Ngumabi's Thrift Shop on Facebook and Instagram to find customers.

I also share in Facebook groups which are meant for sales in Cameroon. And that is where I have been getting customers so far.

Challenges

Selecting the clothes for sale

Though I enjoy it because it's my passion, the selection is a long and tiring. 

Washing the clothes

This is challenging because washing them is a risk. For white clothes most especially. 

When the sun doesn't shine much it will affect the clothes and they can get stained in the course of washing. 

So it is risky and challenging to wash the clothes but I wash them because I want to give a better shopping experience to my customers. It feels different when shopping for washed Okirika clothes.

Reaching customers on the business pages

Finding customers on the business pages is difficult. The page is not followed by my people and my posts don't reach a lot of people. 

I have not yet made sales from my business pages but have had one or two people ask for the prices. 

Taking the right pictures

For the clothes to attract customers the pictures have to be good. It's often a challenge to take the best photos of the clothes because of the lighting most especially. I use my phone for the pictures and I rely on natural light to make the pictures bright. 

Some days are dark and sometimes it's hard to put the phone camera in the right setting to take the best pictures.

Pricing the clothes

This is a challenge because customers do compare my prices with that of the prices in the market and this makes it complicated to sell or even to know how to price the clothes at times.

Not having a shop or a meeting in public places to sell.

Of course, meeting in a public place is the best and safest way to meet clients but it's challenging when we can't find a spot to sit so that they take their time to make their choice. I often take my clients to a mini cafeteria where I make a purchase there just to sit with my client and sell but on days when it isn't open it becomes challenging to stand up and do sales.

All the same, I am working hard to get a boutique someday soon to make the shopping experience better for my customers.

That's how I manage my online okirika or friperie or thrift business in Cameroon.

Watch my video on this topic by clicking here

Skills African Women Need To Succeed This 21st Century

Internet and social media skills

Entrepreneurial skills

Marketing skills

A fighting spirit

The skill of not giving up

The skill of starting all over again

The skill of not giving a f***k

Today we are talking about levelling up. Who doesn't want to level up their life? 

I'm sharing with you tips for African women to level up their lives and be better women.

Click here to watch my video on this topic

How to level up your life as an African woman

Change your mindset

Your mindset is the key to your levelling up, my dear. If we keep thinking of ourselves as "we belong in the kitchen, to make a home or for marriage" then it will be difficult to upgrade our lives. 

We need a mindset that believes that we deserve better in life, that we can do more and can be more. 

Wanting a home and being a housewife isn't a bad thing but it's not the only thing we can be in life. We can be homemakers and also be entrepreneurs, change-makers or career women. 

Grow and develop your knowledge in order to improve your thinking

So read books to improve your mindset, my dear African ladies. Follow women who are in places or levels you dream of being. Attend meetings and conferences to interact with women who can impact your life positively. Use social media to see what other women are doing, the changes they are bringing to the world. 

This will change and improve your mindset greatly. You need to go out there in search of information to develop yourself. Even from the comfort of your home, you can do so with social media. Do research. Read, listen and interact on the right platforms to improve your thinking.

Discover yourself, your skills, talent or gift.

Self-discovery is the core of succeeding in your projects. You need to know who you are, your worth, and your value. You need to know that you matter and you don't exist by chance. You need to know that you are worthy of being alive, worthy of being here and that as a woman you are worthy. 

You need to understand that your feelings, desires and wishes matter just like that of others. 

After finding yourself find out what natural gift you have. Everyone has a gift. Your gift is the thing you do very well with little effort. Find out what it is and work on it to improve it. 

Next is to find ways to valorize it and share it with others. That way you'll create an impact in your life and in the lives of others.

Believe in yourself

Self believe is crucial in levelling up. You need to believe in your ability to do the things you desire to achieve. You have to believe in your gift or talent. Believe in your strength.

Even at your lowest moments, make efforts to believe in yourself. Believe that you can make it.

Put your competence together and take action

Put together your skills, and self believe and start taking action to level up your life. Action is what will transform your life from what it is to what you want it to be. 

Work hard

After taking action keep working hard till you get there sis. Everyone says work smart but I say you need to work hard first in order to know how to work smart. So work hard to build yourself, your vision, your goals and talent to the level that it becomes a blessing to you.

Be patient

Most of us young African women don't like this word but you can never get anything good in a hurry. If you want lasting success then you have to be patient and allow things to unfold as they should. 

You have to be patient to reap the fruit of you labour as you work hard.

Have patience as you work to achieve your goals and level up your life.

Those are my tips for you African women to level up your lives. 

Click here to watch my video on this topic

Today, I want us to discuss where we need to level up as African men and women when it comes to relationships.

Everyone has flaws or weaknesses for sure. But let's discuss that weakness as a group.

Click here to watch my video on this topic.

Who Needs To Step Up In Relationships? African Men Or African Women?

Romance

African men are not very romantic beings. Only a few of them catch the romance fever. It's true that the number of romantic men is increasing but they are still not so many of them. 

African women are more romantic than African men. They think, eat and drink romance. It begins when they start reading romantic novels and watching romantic movies. They begin to imagine ways to make their relationship romantic.

Lies

I think African men lie more than African women because from the beginning of the relationship most of them tell lies to get these women to date them. And they keep telling these lies to keep being with the lady.

It's true that African women tell lies to men to get money or favours but they are not as much as that of the men.

Cheating

Some people say women cheat more than men but I don't think so. 

We see men cheat more often than women. Even though women can be very secretive, it doesn't mean they cheat more. They are just smooth criminals 🤭 when it comes to cheating and the way they hide what they do makes people think that many other women cheat as well. 

But in my opinion, the men cheat more than the women.

Loyalty

African Women are more loyal in relationships. They go into relationships most times believing that they have found the man of their life only to find out later that he isn't even with them or he isn't thinking about a future with her.

So African women are more loyal in relationships.

Dressing

Let's give it to the ladies and call it a day, ok. The ladies put more effort in their looks and appearance more than the men.

Violence

African men oh, come and take your trophy🏆. African men are more violent physically and emotionally in relationships. 

They feel they have the right to abuse these women and most of them hide under the pretext of being the head of the family and authority which is wrong.

Finance

Another trophy for the men. They are the providers and breadwinners of the relationship most of the time. Women often come in a supporting role. 

After all these points I think that African men need to step up on a number of things. Stop cheating, telling lies, dress better, be more loyal to your woman and stop being violent towards women. 

Click here to watch my video on this topic.

Hope you guys are doing well. 

I'm fine and doing my best to make things happen in my life and my business. I haven't discussed business on the blog but I intend to open up on that more and more from now. I think sharing my struggles as an entrepreneur will help other entrepreneurs out there.

If you read my about page you'll know about my online businesses. I have always been a creative person so I made a business for my own designs, I have always loved thrifting aside from having the gift of thrifting the best so I created a thrift business.

These shops exist on Instagram, Facebook and on the website Ngumis where I share updates of products and arrivals.

In Search Of New Clients At The Start Of The Year

Finding clients has not been easy this January. With everyone complaining of January being a difficult month, it's either you have clients that pay so low or can't afford it at all.

It feels discouraging I must confess especially for my ready to wear business because I'm just starting out. So I ask myself if it will work or if it is worth it. 

But I still feel determined to keep pushing until it works. The business that has been doing ok so far is the thrift business, especially the baby items. I understand it's because kids' needs don't really have a season and can be bought at anytime it is needed.

Right now my focus is to keep striving for more clients and I know it's a matter of time for me to get them. 

Valentine's day is showing its romantic head again. A lot of people, as usual, will be with their lovers, spouses and partners to celebrate. This is a good thing. 

Watch the video I made on this topic by clicking here

For those who care about Valentine's day and want to be with someone but can't, I'm here to tell you that you haven't committed a crime. 

You can spend the day alone and you will survive and come out alive. Some people are currently in search of someone to just spend the day with romantically and they don't care what the relationship will look like after that. 

It's Not A Crime To Spend Valentine's Day Alone

So here are some things you can do with yourself on Valentine's day this year; take yourself out on a date like a lover would do, buy yourself a gift, buy yourself a cake or some flowers, watch a movie at home or go for a spa treatment. 

The aim is to do something to occupy your mind and to be busy also. This will help you not feel sorry for yourself.

I know it can be tough if you have a circle of friends and all of them are with their bea on that day except you. But don't despair or condemn yourself. Just do something nice for yourself and it will make you feel good.

I hope you have a wonderful lover's day this year and wish you all the best if you are searching for love.

I also made a video on this topic so please watch it by clicking here. You'll love it.