But most times, once the guy has got the girl, he really doesn't put in any more work to make sure he stays as romantic and cheerful as when he was courting her. I think men need to put some more work into seducing women too.

Seduction should come from both sides of the relationship - male and female. I don't know about you but I get bored and tired when I'm not seduced. 

I love a man who loves to take care of his body. It's sexy! He must not be the show-off type but let him love his body enough to want to maintain those abs or that flat tummy. Just like women make the effort to do the same.

On most blogs and articles about how to seduce a man, there is always the tip asking women to be confident in order to be sexy. How about male confidence for a woman to find that sexy? 

How about putting on tight and short boxers while at home? Or to bed? Let's see some sexy, firm, black (or white) masculine butt and have a peep of the things we often only get to feel. 

Huh, ladies? Isn't that sexy?

How about doing sexy things to catch our attention? I still want to see you look at me like you did when you first saw me, or on our first rendezvous, or the amazement I saw on your face when I first smiled at you, laughed or said yes to our first date.

We need to see it again. And again! Because that's what we fell in love with. That's what keeps us awake all night...yeah, thinking of how much you were looking forward to spending time with us. 

Hold, carry, play, stare, caress, cuddle, love and just seduce us. For Christ's sake, it's not a crime!

Women deserve to be seduced just as men get seduced by women. We need men to make that effort for us.

Facebook is a social media site/application that helps people connect and share ideas, photos and videos.

Facebook has gradually become a place where all sorts of relationships have developed. From reunions to making new friends and even meeting life partners. It has also produced professional relationships as well as fraudulent ones called scams.

It (Facebook) has become the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's a place for people to make, create or destroy a reputation.

Despite its problems, some people still manage to find love there. Love can happen anywhere.
A lot of people use Facebook to find romantic relationships.

Personally, I don't like being asked out on Facebook. I think dating sites are meant for that. But if it has to be done on Facebook, then let it be done the right way.

Tips on how to create a romantic relationship on Facebook.

Tips for guys: How to ask a girl out on Facebook

So you saw her gorgeous pictures on Facebook and want to try your luck? Here are some tips for you.

- Introduce yourself:

This is so very important. It shows politeness and genuineness. Introduce yourself with your name, location, profession, etc.

It's not enough that your name appears on your profile or that your messages come with your name above it. You need to introduce yourself like you would do to a girl you met on the road for the first time. It's polite. It also builds trust in the person you are talking to and makes her want to keep talking to you.

- Don't ask all personal information questions in a row:

What's your name? Age? Where are you from? What do you do? Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you live alone? Where are your parents? What... etc.

All at once? Please DON'T! It's not an interrogation! We are not at the police station. So slow down!

Imagine someone you have never met asking you such details about your life. You can ask her name and where she lives. Maybe go further to ask what she does. Just a basic introduction is necessary for a start. The rest you can discover in the course of another conversation.

- Start a conversation to build trust:

Yes, after you introduce yourself, you start a conversation.

To spark up a conversation;

* You can ask how her day went,

* Ask about the town in which she lives (how is *insert town's name* today, for how long have you been living in *insert town's name*),

 *Compliment her (you are beautiful, I love your photos, I love your posts because they sound intelligent/useful, etc)

These ideas are meant to help her to get familiar and comfortable with you. It also makes you more interesting and easier to remember. Don't forget you may not be the only one asking her out on Facebook or even face to face.

Your conversations can go on for a few days but make it often and leave some offline messages in case you don't come online at the same time.

 

- Don't just assume but tell her how you feel about her:

It's time to let the cat out of the bag after building her trust. Tell her what you want from her. Let her know the feelings you have for her. Use the tricks you would normally use if you were able to see her. You can ask for a date or an outing with her to talk more about it. This approach makes you look more serious and mature. If she wants to go out with you on a date then you can ask for her number to make arrangements.

- Please, don't ask for sexy photos:

Or any even normal photos of her.

It's annoying.

Really.

She has lots of pictures on her profile that you can look at. If you are not yet that special to her then why should she send you other photos?

- And pleassssssssse, keep photos of your d**k to yourself:

Don't send photos of your cock. I beg you don't do this. She might likely stop the conversation or block you.

2. Tips for Ladies

I know that there are arguments on whether or not ladies should ask men out but it's already happening and some men do appreciate it. I think it's ok to do so depending on how it's done. So whether you are man-hunting or not here are a few tips you can use to find love on Facebook ladies.

- Check out his profile

- If he is the one 'toasting' you, ask him to introduce himself in case he doesn't.

- Make sure you know him a little before giving him your phone number or going to meet him face to face

- If you are the one doing the hunting then follow the tips I gave above for guys

I hope these tips help all the 'attackers' on Facebook to finally find love.

Related: My Daily Outfits At 4 Months Postpartum 

But now that I've got more time, I am putting a little conscious effort into looking good fashionwise.

I'm only learning to get comfortable in heels again and finding clothes that flatter my body is not easy but I make the effort because I want to get back to my stylish self. 

Finding statement pieces is not easy either but when I find one it feels amazing!

Like this bag which I love so much.

This outfit is not only stylish but comfortable (apart from the shoes lol ). Without the heels, I can wear it with simple slippers and still look stylish because of these palazzo trousers. The colour and the style of the trouser is what I like the most.

Today we need to talk about the type of men we let into our lives as African women. For a long time now we kept repeating certain mistakes our elders made because they didn't know better. But now we have to see the light and follow it. 

It is essential to break that pattern of dating the worse category of men in your life (I feel like a pastor now). You can do this by avoiding this category of men. 

If you meet a guy who tells you this, run for your dear life because he is a heartless man. Even if he says he loves you so much. 

When a man loves a woman he doesn't put her through the trauma of trying to compete with another woman. And to imagine that he tells you this to your face! OMG. 

When he can't decide you should be the one to leave his confused state of mind and not join him in ruining your life and wasting your time.

So ladies, value yourselves enough to avoid or remove this kind of man from your lives. They are not good for you and you will go through a lot of hell if you keep staying with them.

Since I published the Sivoderm pomade review in October 2020, it has received a lot of views and also a lot of questions from people who want to know more. 

I'm going to answer all the questions I have got so far in my private messages and also in the search that leads people to the post. This will help those who have the same questions and need answers.

Here is my post (review) of Sivoderm Pommade if you haven't read it: Sivoderm Pomade Review (Click here)

Sivoderm cream is a hydrating skincare product enriched with vitamin E which is used to hydrate the skin. It is different from the pomade because the cream is a leave-in product while the "pomade de soins" is a treatment that is applied and washed off.

Wash your face and apply the product to it. Use your fingers to rub it in.

It's advisable to use the pomade once a week for regular treatment and if you have a particular skin problem like acne, you can use it daily for a few days.  The cream is applied once or twice daily on the skin.

No. 

No.

Does Sivoderm clear dark spots?

How does Sivoderm work?

How to use Sivoderm pomade?

How to apply Sivoderm on the face?

What are the dangers of using Sivoderm?  

How long should I use Sivoderm cream on my face?

Is Sivoderm cream only for females to use? 

As an African woman, it's easy to give up your dreams for marriage because we see marriage as the ultimate achievement.

But why should marriage stop you from being who you want to be?

Let's stop putting our careers and purpose on hold for the sake of marriage dear African women.

Related: What are your dreams dear African woman?

               3 things most African women won't do to succeed

               Ambitious African women VS African society

               Ambitious African women | What society really thinks about you

The African society has its own realities linked to its culture. This makes succeeding as an ambitious African woman living in Africa really different from other environments.

Most African cultures require women to stay at home and only be housewives while the man is the breadwinner. This makes it difficult for women or girls who want to work and have a career.

In cultures where they are allowed to work, they are judged and at times discouraged when they are too ambitious. This is usually because people fear that over-ambitious women scare men away and may not end up married. Marriage still has a very important social status in African countries and cultures and most women are judged or respected by their marital status.

That is why for an ambitious African woman to succeed, her midset needs to be brave enough to weather the storm. 

Related: Ambitious African Women | What society really thinks about you

              3 things most African women won't do to succeed

I wrote this post because I feel that we live in a society where people don't have dreams. I'm talking about African society. African women most especially don't dream as much. It is often said that what exists in the physical once existed in the mind. Dreams are important to build ourselves and our society. It is important to have dreams because we have a purpose for being on earth.

So what are your dreams? Do you have any? I dream of being a successful blogger. And that is just one of my dreams. It's not too late to have dreams. You can start now.

What do want to be or achieve? How do you want to achieve it and when? These are guide questions. 

Though it's understandable, it feels sad that our struggles in life have made us forget to work for our dreams and purpose to be fulfiled. 

Fellow African women, it's time to dream and dream big. The time to play small and stay modest about the things we want has passed. 

I hope you see this as a wake-up call. And if you already have dreams, you are doing well. May you work hard enough to fulfil and achieve them.

- Kenkeliba fruit

- Pineapple peel and leaves 

- Ginger

- Pawpaw seeds

- Anti-malaria tree bark (I sometimes add this to prevent malaria)

- Lime or Lemon

- Wash all the ingredients properly. 

- Pour the kenkiliba juice or slices into the pot. You can also use the seeds by pounding them before adding them to the pot.

- Pound the pineapple peel, pineapple leaves, ginger, pawpaw seeds, the anti-malaria tree back, lemon or lime after squeezing out the juice. 

- Pound everything together to get a coarse mixture. The finer the particles the better chances you have to get more juice from the herbs. 

- Put in the pot after pounding it well, add water and boil for about 30 minutes. 

You can now sieve it and drink. You can add some honey, lime/and lemon juice if you want.

This herbal tea is great for cleansing the body, it helps with weight loss and body pains, it gives energy and helps in treating stomach problems like bloating, constipation, typhoid etc.

Hope you found this post useful. Thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one.