I found this recipe I'm sharing with you about 3 years ago on a TikTok video made by Lucas Filatrio, a Cameroonian food content creator. I have been enjoying this recipe, which is very delicious and made with a few ingredients that are not hard to find. Moreover, it doesn't need tomatoes, so it changes the routine of tomato stew.

No-Tomato Meat Sauce | Cameroon Recipe

Ingredients 

Preparing the ingredients 

Cooking

Note to Self—You’re Not Stuck, You’re Shifting

You didn’t even notice it, but you’ve been moving.
Not loudly. Not quickly. But steadily.
You’re not stuck—you’re just in a soft transition.

It’s that in-between space where nothing feels fully clear, but everything is quietly realigning.

You’ve been:

• Reaching for small routines that make you feel good

• Editing your thoughts without even realizing it

• Letting go of the things that don’t fit anymore

• Following gentle nudges back to yourself

This season might feel foggy sometimes. But you’re not lost.
You’re repotting.
You’re making space.
You’re reconnecting.

You’re learning that clarity doesn’t always shout — sometimes it whispers.
And when it does, all you need to do is listen.

So keep showing up, even if it’s slow.
Keep trusting your rhythm.
And remember —
Even misty mornings still move you forward.

So I’m dropping these here — not as a perfect recap, but more like a gentle photo dump with a few reflections along the way.

Getting Back to Moving My Body

One thing I’m proud of this past month is that I started working out again — not perfectly, but consistently.

I’ve mostly been doing what I enjoy: dancing, and lifting weights, I made myself using sand, wrapped in plastic and cloth. Homemade, but effective. It feels good to move again. I’m not chasing a perfect body. I just want to feel strong, light, and more in tune with myself.

Meals That Made Me Smile

I cooked some meals in July that honestly made me happy—and my kids too.

• I made cornchaff, one of my favorites.

• Then came stewed cabbage, which surprised me because the kids loved it more than I expected.

• And maybe my favorite of all — khoki in teacups. I didn’t have leaves, so I improvised, and the way those cups looked sitting in the pot? Just beautiful. It made me feel creative and grounded at the same time.

😋😋 This Khoki was so good.

There's a recipe for Khoki on the blog, but that recipe was made in leaves. The process is the same, just that I put this one in cups. Please refrain from using plastic cups or any other plastic items for this. It's not healthy.

My Khoki bean recipes:

It’s been a while since I sat down to write something just for the sake of sharing what’s been going on — and that’s what today’s post is. A little life update, a little check-in, and a soft beginning to something new.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed about the next step in my blogging journey. I recently cleared out my drafts — a fresh start — so I can begin a new wave of posts. It’s exciting, and honestly, a little scary too. I’ve been wondering: Will you like the new content? Will it still connect the way it used to?

At the same time, I’ve also been thinking (and overthinking) about something else that’s been on my heart — my business, Ngumi’s.
It’s been a while since I ran it actively, and though I’ve been wanting to restart, I keep getting stuck on the what-ifs.
What if I don’t sell? What if it’s not received well?
I know these feelings are normal, especially after a pause, but they’ve been sitting heavy on me and slowing me down more than I’d like.

But this is me pushing through it — even just by writing this post.
This is the first post in the new rhythm I’m creating for this blog.
Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I’m going back to how we used to blog a few years ago — when we simply wrote from the heart, shared our lives as they were, and connected through the little things.

This space is returning to that — a blend of lifestyle and life lessons.
Content that feels like a chat with a friend. Sometimes entertaining, sometimes helpful. Sometimes soft and reflective. Other times, just vibes and a recipe. Because I know that’s how we really consume content — to learn, to feel seen, or to simply escape and breathe.

So here’s to a new week.
I’m hoping for less overwhelm, more flow, and the courage to start again — with blogging, with business, and with everything else in between.

Wherever you are, I hope your week feels kind to you.
Sending softness your way 🌸

Love,
Ngumabi

For a long time, I used to think that living a good life meant being busy all the time. Hustling. Rushing. Piling goals on top of goals. But over the years—especially after becoming a mother and going through some hard personal seasons—I’ve come to realize that fast doesn’t always mean better. And constantly doing more doesn’t always mean you’re actually living.

These days, I crave something different. I crave a slow life and a soft life—not because I don’t want success or ambition, but because I want my success to come with peace, freedom, and joy.

My Definition of a Slow Life and Soft Life: Personal Freedom, Fulfillment, and Joy

What a Slow Life Means to Me

To me, a slow life means choosing intentional living over constant busyness. It’s about creating space to breathe, think, and feel. It’s waking up and not rushing through the day. It’s giving myself permission to pause when I need to, to rest without guilt, and to focus on what truly matters.

It’s about enjoying simple things:

– Drinking tea slowly.

– Sitting outside and watching my kids play.

– Cooking a meal with love instead of stress.

– Journaling. Praying. Taking care of my plants.

– Saying no when something doesn’t align with my peace.

A slow life doesn’t mean I’ve given up on my dreams. It means I’m no longer chasing them in a way that drains me or makes me feel like I’m never doing enough.

What a Soft Life Means to Me

The soft life, for me, is about ease, abundance, and emotional safety. It’s about building a life where I’m not constantly in survival mode. Where I don’t always have to be strong or have it all together. It’s allowing myself to be gentle—with myself and with others.

It’s living with grace.
It’s creating a home that feels warm and safe.
It’s not feeling guilty for wanting beauty, comfort, or rest.
It’s doing work that aligns with my values and allows me time for family and for myself.

It’s also about financial freedom—not necessarily being rich overnight, but having enough to live well, take care of my kids, help others, and not be constantly anxious about money.

My Version: Personal Freedom, Fulfillment, and Joy

At the core of both the slow and soft life is what I truly want:
Personal freedom – the ability to choose how I live and work.
Fulfillment – the joy of doing meaningful work and being present with my loved ones.
Joy – not just in big achievements, but in the little moments that make life worth living.

I want a life where I can express myself through my blog, share what I’m learning, inspire other women, and still have time to sit in peace without pressure.

I want to earn money in ways that don’t steal my peace. I want my journey to be real, not rushed. Aligned, not forced.

The slow life and soft life I’m creating is not perfect—they’re still a work in progress. I still have days when I feel overwhelmed or unsure. But I’m learning to breathe through it. To take one step at a time. To keep choosing peace over pressure.

And every time I pause to enjoy a moment, smile with my kids, write from my heart, or feel calm after years of rushing — I remind myself: This is the life I prayed for. It may be slow and simple, but it’s rich in meaning.

I hope one day, more of us—especially African women—will feel safe enough to choose this kind of life too.

What does the slow or soft life mean to you? 

The Importance of Saying No and Setting Boundaries: How Saying No Allows for the Soft Life You Deserve

Saying “no” is a simple word, but it carries so much power. It’s one of the most important tools I’ve learned to embrace on my journey to creating the soft life I’ve always dreamed of. Setting boundaries and learning to say no isn’t about being selfish; it’s about protecting your peace, honoring your time, and making room for the things that truly matter.

When I started my journey towards a more fulfilling, soft life, I realized that saying yes to everything—whether it was extra commitments at work, social obligations, or even just being stretched thin by the expectations of others—was draining me. I was giving away pieces of myself without getting anything back. Slowly, this began to impact my mental health, my productivity, and my relationships. I had to stop and ask myself: What’s the point of living a full life if it’s not my life? And if I don’t take control of my time and energy, who will?

Why Saying No is So Hard

For many of us, especially as women, saying no can feel like a challenge. There’s a societal pressure to be everything to everyone—mother, wife, friend, professional, caregiver. We’re conditioned to be nurturing, accommodating, and self-sacrificial. But in the process, we often forget to prioritize ourselves.

Saying no feels uncomfortable at first, and there’s a fear of disappointing others, losing opportunities, or being perceived as selfish. However, the truth is that saying yes to everything means you’re saying no to your own well-being, your dreams, and the things that matter most to you.

Setting Boundaries: The Foundation of a Soft Life

Boundaries are not walls, but protective lines that define what you’re willing to accept in your life. Setting boundaries is one of the first and most important steps in designing a soft life because it allows you to preserve your energy, focus, and joy.

• Work Boundaries: For me, this meant creating clear limits around my work hours. I used to answer emails at all hours of the night and weekends, just trying to get ahead. But I learned that doing so only led to burnout and a lack of time for myself. Now, I set work hours and prioritize time for breaks, family, and relaxation. This has not only improved my productivity but also my sense of fulfillment.

• Personal Boundaries: Another critical aspect of my journey has been learning to say no to events or commitments that don’t align with my goals or values. I used to feel obligated to attend every social gathering or take on every project, even if it left me feeling exhausted. Now, I’m more selective, making sure that what I say yes to is something that truly energizes me or aligns with my vision for the future.

• Emotional Boundaries: This one has been particularly important. I used to carry the emotional weight of others—whether it was friends, family, or colleagues—without realizing how much it was impacting my own emotional health. By setting emotional boundaries, I’ve been able to protect myself from being drained by situations that are outside of my control. I’ve learned that it’s okay to distance myself from negativity, drama, or people who don’t respect my boundaries.

How Saying No Leads to the Soft Life You Deserve

The soft life I envision is one that doesn’t come at the expense of my well-being or happiness. It’s a life where I have the space to enjoy the things that matter most to me—whether it’s my family, my passions, or my personal growth.

• More Time for What You Love: When you say no to the things that don’t serve you, you open up space for the things that bring you joy. For me, this meant saying no to overworking myself and instead carving out time for my hobbies like writing, fashion, and creating content for my blog and YouTube channel. The time I’ve gained by saying no has allowed me to truly enjoy the things I love, without feeling overwhelmed.

• Stronger Relationships: Setting boundaries has also strengthened my relationships. When I’m clear about what I can and can’t do, I’m more present in my interactions. I’m able to give quality time to my family and friends because I’m not stretched too thin. By saying no, I’ve shown my loved ones that I respect myself and my time, and they, in turn, respect that too.

• Better Focus on Your Goals: Saying no isn’t just about turning down things that drain you; it’s about choosing to focus on what truly aligns with your vision for your life. For me, saying no to things that don’t move me forward has allowed me to double down on growing my businesses, writing my book, and creating meaningful content. By protecting my energy, I’m able to work more efficiently and purposefully.

• Increased Peace and Fulfillment: Perhaps the greatest benefit of saying no is the peace it brings. When you’re no longer constantly overwhelmed by obligations, you create space for relaxation, self-care, and fulfillment. I’ve found that when I honor my boundaries, I’m able to approach life with more joy, confidence, and contentment. It’s a reminder that I’m in control of how my life unfolds.

Saying no is a powerful act of self-love. It’s a reminder that your time, energy, and peace are valuable. You have the right to protect your boundaries and choose the life you want to live. The soft life I’ve been working towards is one of freedom, peace, and intentionality, and it wouldn’t be possible without the ability to say no.

If you’re on the journey to creating your own soft life, I encourage you to start saying no to the things that drain you, no to the expectations that don’t align with your goals, and yes to yourself. By doing so, you’ll create more space for the things that truly matter—and begin living the peaceful, intentional life you deserve.

What boundaries are you setting in your life right now? How has saying no helped you create more peace and joy?

How You Can Design Your Own Soft Life: Tips on Setting Boundaries, Pursuing Your Passions, and Embracing Slow Living

If there’s one thing life has taught me, it’s that no one is going to hand you your dream life — you have to intentionally create it. For me, that dream life is what I call a soft life: a life filled with peace, purpose, and personal freedom.

But getting here hasn’t been easy. I’ve had to unlearn the mindset of hustle culture. I’ve had to recover from burnout. I’ve had to grow through financial struggles, motherhood challenges, and self-doubt. And through it all, I’ve been learning how to design a life that actually feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good from the outside.

If you’re like me — tired of struggling, craving more calm, and ready to start living on your own terms — here are a few gentle tips that have helped me, and might help you too.

1. Set Boundaries Without Guilt

One of the most powerful things I’ve done is learn to say no — and mean it. Whether it’s with work, family, or even social expectations, I had to stop overextending myself just to please others.

A soft life begins with protecting your peace. That might mean:
– Saying no to last-minute favours when you’re tired
– Turning off notifications when you need to focus or rest
– Creating work hours and sticking to them
– Choosing your own pace, even when others don’t understand

Boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re a form of self-respect — and a necessary part of living softly.

2. Pursue Your Passions — Even If It’s Just a Little at a Time

Another important part of my soft life is doing work that lights me up. Whether it's blogging, creating content, managing social media for good causes, or building my handmade brand, I’ve realized that passion and purpose can go hand-in-hand with peace.

You don’t have to wait for “the right time” to start. Just begin where you are:
– Share your thoughts online
– Write that blog post
– Make that product
– Talk about your interests
– Learn a new skill

Even if it's slow, even if it's imperfect, do it with love. Your passion deserves space in your life — not just in your dreams.

3. Embrace Slow Living — On Your Terms

Living slowly doesn’t mean being lazy or giving up. It means choosing what matters most, and letting go of the rush to “keep up” with everyone else.

For me, slow living looks like:
– Creating a morning routine that grounds me
– Resting when I need to, not just when I crash
– Taking time to eat, breathe, pray, journal, or simply be
– Making space in my day for things I love (like plants, tea, soft music, or playing with my kids)

You don’t have to do everything to feel fulfilled. Sometimes, less is more. And sometimes peace is found in the moments we usually overlook.

Designing a soft life isn’t about perfection. It’s about intention. It’s about asking yourself:
– What do I need to feel calm and whole?
– What do I need to remove from my life to feel more aligned?
– How can I show up for myself today?

It’s okay if it takes time. It’s okay if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s version. What matters is that it feels right for you.

You’re allowed to choose ease. You’re allowed to grow slowly. And you’re allowed to live softly, no matter where you’re starting from.

 

What is a “Soft Life,” and Why Does It Matter in Today’s Fast-Paced World?

In today’s fast-paced, hustle-driven world, the idea of a "soft life" has become a trending topic that’s sparking curiosity and conversations. But what exactly is a soft life, and why does it matter so much, especially when everything around us seems to demand constant effort, productivity, and achievement?

At its core, a “soft life” is about embracing ease, comfort, and balance. It’s about rejecting the constant grind and instead focusing on creating a lifestyle that prioritizes your well-being, freedom, and peace of mind. It’s about choosing a life where you can enjoy the good things without feeling guilty, stressed, or overwhelmed by the pressure to “do it all.”

In a world that glorifies hustle culture, the concept of the soft life serves as a powerful reminder that we don’t have to sacrifice our happiness, health, or relationships to succeed. It’s a mindset that challenges the idea that success should come at the cost of personal fulfillment. Instead, the soft life encourages us to create a life that feels light, fulfilling, and aligned with our values and desires.

But why does this matter, especially now? Well, we live in an era where burnout is more common than ever, and the constant pursuit of perfection can lead to exhaustion and dissatisfaction. With social media perpetuating images of success that often feel unattainable, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison and feel like you’re always behind. A soft life, in this context, offers a refreshing antidote. It’s about creating space for rest, relaxation, and enjoyment — something many of us overlook in our busy lives.

Embracing a soft life doesn’t mean avoiding hard work or responsibility. Instead, it’s about balancing the demands of work and life with moments of calm, joy, and luxury. It’s about curating your life in a way that gives you the freedom to thrive without burnout.

In my journey, the soft life has become a goal I aspire to not just for myself, but for the future I want to create for my family. It’s about investing in what truly matters — health, relationships, and personal growth — while also seeking financial independence, comfort, and a sense of ease. So, let’s explore how we can all start living a more intentional, fulfilling soft life, one that reflects our passions, values, and aspirations.

Why I Focus on Empowering African Women: My Mission and Passion for Uplifting Others

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a deep-seated desire to create change, not just for myself, but for others, especially women. But not just any women; I’m talking about African women. Women who, like me, dream big, work hard, and want more out of life than just the basic survival.

Growing up, I saw countless women around me with so much potential but limited opportunities. They were often caught between traditional expectations, societal pressures, and the challenge of balancing family life with personal ambitions. I witnessed women sacrificing their dreams for others, giving so much of themselves, yet feeling unfulfilled and lost in the process.

This reality sparked something in me—a desire to empower African women to rise above these limitations and live the lives they deserve. I realized that I had a purpose: to help women realize that they don’t have to settle for anything less than extraordinary. Empowering women is not just a mission for me; it’s my passion.

The Need for Change

For many African women, the idea of living life on their own terms can seem impossible. The weight of societal expectations, family pressures, and the lack of access to resources can make it seem like success is out of reach. I’ve felt these struggles firsthand. I’ve been there, torn between family, career, and self. But I’ve learned that we can create our own paths, no matter where we come from or what challenges we face. That’s why I’m so passionate about helping other women break through the barriers that hold them back.

By focusing on education, self-awareness, and action, we can create a movement where women are not just seen as caregivers or mothers, but as leaders, business owners, creators, and change-makers in their communities and beyond.

Why African Women?

I’m particularly passionate about empowering African women because of the unique challenges and incredible potential I see in them. There’s an undeniable resilience and strength in the women of Africa, but so often, that strength is buried under layers of cultural constraints and limited opportunities. As someone who understands the culture, the values, and the struggles of African women, I know the power we have when we come together to support and uplift each other.

In my own journey, I’ve learned that independence and freedom are not just about financial stability; they are about the ability to make decisions, to choose the life we want, and to take control of our destinies. This kind of independence is life-changing, and I want every African woman to know that it’s possible. It’s why I focus my efforts on helping women realize their worth, pursue their passions, and build legacies that will last.

My Mission to Empower

My mission is simple: To help African women feel seen, supported, and empowered. Through my content, my businesses, and my experiences, I aim to inspire women to embrace their independence, find their voice, and take action toward their goals. Whether it's through my blog, social media content, or my social media management work with nonprofits, my goal is to create a space where women can come together, share their experiences, and grow in confidence.

I want to share stories, provide resources, and offer practical tips that help women build the skills they need to thrive—whether that’s through financial literacy, business knowledge, or mindset shifts. I believe that when women are empowered with knowledge, they become unstoppable forces of change.

Building a Legacy of Empowerment

Empowerment is not just about personal growth; it’s about building a legacy that impacts generations to come. I want to help women not just succeed but thrive in a way that leaves a mark on the world—a legacy they can pass down to their children, communities, and peers. Whether it’s starting a business, pursuing education, or finding fulfillment in their personal lives, the legacy we create today will influence the future of African women for years to come.

Why I’m Committed to This Work

I’ve always believed in the power of community and support. The reason I’m so committed to empowering African women is that I know what it feels like to struggle, to feel isolated, and to wonder if your dreams are even worth pursuing. But I also know what it feels like to break free from those limiting beliefs and take control of your life.

This mission is personal for me because I want to create a world where my own children—especially my daughters—can grow up knowing that they have the power to shape their own future, regardless of where they come from. I want them to know that they can dream big and build something meaningful. And I want to help other women experience that same freedom, confidence, and fulfillment.

Moving Forward

As I continue to grow in my journey, I hope to reach more women who are ready to take the next step toward building their own legacies. I want to continue sharing my story, creating valuable content, and offering support so that more women can break free from limitations and live a life they love.

My mission is clear, and it’s fueled by a deep passion to serve ambitious African women who are ready to take control of their futures. I want them to know that they are worthy of success, worthy of happiness, and capable of achieving everything they dream of.

Together, we will rise.

Building Your Own Path: Tips for Ambitious Moms

Being a mom is one of the most fulfilling roles in life, but it can also feel like it’s all-consuming. For many of us, balancing motherhood with personal ambitions can feel like a constant juggling act. As much as we love our children, we also have dreams of creating something of our own, whether it’s building a business, pursuing a passion, or making a lasting impact in the world.

I get it. I’m a mom, too, and I’ve been through the highs and lows of trying to build my own path while raising my little ones. It’s not always easy, but it’s absolutely worth it. And trust me when I say — it’s possible to do both!

If you’re an ambitious mom, just like me, who wants to pursue your dreams and create something meaningful for yourself and your family, here are a few tips that I’ve learned along the way. These tips will help you find the balance you need to build your own path while still being present for your loved ones.

1. Start with Self-Awareness: Know What Drives You

Before you can build your path, you have to understand what motivates you. What are you passionate about? What do you want to accomplish? It’s easy to get caught up in the everyday demands of motherhood, but your dreams matter too. Take time to reflect on your goals and your vision for the future. Is it a business? A creative project? Or maybe a nonprofit cause?

Knowing your why is key because it’ll help you stay grounded and focused when life gets busy. The clarity that comes from identifying your passions will make it easier to prioritize and stay motivated.

2. Time Management is Everything

As a mom, time is limited, but it’s how you use that time that counts. Time management is one of the most important skills you can develop. It’s not just about squeezing everything into your day; it’s about creating a schedule that allows for productivity while still carving out moments for yourself and your family.

Here are a few strategies that help me stay on track:

• Prioritize your tasks: Use a to-do list or time-blocking method to focus on the most important tasks first. Be intentional with your time and know when to say no.

• Create a flexible routine: As moms, we know that things don’t always go as planned. That’s why I recommend having a routine that’s adaptable. This allows you to stay organized but also gives you room to breathe when life throws curveballs.

• Use tools that work for you: Apps like Google Calendar, Trello, or even a simple planner can help you keep track of both family and business commitments. Find what helps you stay organized.

3. Lean Into Support Systems

Building your own path doesn’t mean doing it all alone. It’s okay to lean on your support system, whether it’s your partner, friends, family, or even online communities of like-minded women. There’s no shame in asking for help. In fact, building a strong support network is one of the best things you can do for both your mental well-being and the success of your ventures.

• Delegate household tasks: If possible, share responsibilities with your partner or hire help for tasks like cleaning or grocery shopping.

• Join communities: Online groups or local mom groups where you can share experiences, advice, and resources are incredibly valuable. Connecting with others who understand your journey can make a world of difference.

4. Embrace Flexibility in Your Business

As a mom, you might have to be flexible when it comes to the way you grow your business. There will be days when your child gets sick, when you have to take a step back, or when your plans get disrupted. That’s okay! Instead of feeling frustrated, adjust your mindset and embrace the flexibility that comes with being your own boss.

Consider starting a business that allows you to work from home, has flexible hours, or can be scaled as your time permits. This might be starting an online shop, offering freelance services, or creating content on platforms like YouTube or a blog.

5. Keep Your Focus on Growth, Not Perfection

As an ambitious mom, it’s easy to get bogged down by the pressure of doing everything perfectly. But let me tell you something — perfection is overrated. What matters most is that you’re making progress. Whether it’s taking small steps toward your goals or learning from your mistakes, growth is what counts.

Celebrate the small wins, whether it’s your first blog post published, your first sale, or simply a day when you were able to focus fully on your business. Those moments are what build momentum.

6. Don’t Forget Self-Care

When you're focused on building a business and raising kids, it’s easy to put your own needs last. But neglecting self-care can quickly lead to burnout. Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential. When you’re rested and recharged, you show up as a better mom, business owner, and person.

• Take breaks: Whether it's a 15-minute walk or reading a book, make sure you carve out time for yourself every day.

• Exercise: Even a few minutes of stretching or yoga can help clear your mind and boost your energy levels.

• Pursue your hobbies: Do something that you enjoy — whether it’s painting, reading, cooking, or something else. It helps you reconnect with yourself and maintain balance.

7. Stay Consistent and Be Patient

Building your own path takes time. There will be days when it feels like things aren’t moving fast enough. But don’t give up. Stay consistent with your efforts, even if the progress is slow. Trust the process and be patient with yourself.

Remember, this journey is yours, and it’s okay if it takes time to figure it all out. The key is to keep going — even when it feels tough.

Being an ambitious mom is all about finding the balance between nurturing your family and nurturing your dreams. It's about creating a life that works for you, where you can be present for your loved ones while building a future that excites and fulfills you.

The path isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. And I want you to know that you can build your own path, no matter where you are right now.

I’m living proof that with a little planning, support, and determination, you can create something beautiful for yourself while still being the amazing mom you are. Stay focused on your goals, embrace the journey, and always remember to celebrate the progress, no matter how small.

You’ve got this!