Today I want to address some things that we African women have been suffering from for a long time. these things and habits have hindered us from growing for a long time and it's time to unlearn them. 

Here are things, thoughts and habits that African need to unlearn.

Watch my video on this topic by clicking here.

Negative Things African Women Need To Unlearn About Themselves In Order To Progress In Life

You have to suffer in relationships before enjoying it

Gone are the days when you need to tolerate a man who doesn't treat you right for years hoping that one day he will realize your worth before turning back to loving and respecting you full time. 

Men are used to doing what they like in relationships and return to loving their long life partners in their old age. This is because we let them. Let's not continue to make this a pattern. It's time to say stop to this. It's time to unlearn this habit my dear African ladies. We are worth better men.

They have to look like someone else in order to be considered beautiful

This is sad but true. Most African women believe that they need to look like women of other races in order to be considered beautiful. 

Your sole purpose of existence & looking beautiful is for a man or to attract and keep a man

African women make men the centre of their lives a lot. Men are important to us but we don't exist because of them. This also stems from our culture where women were brought up to please men. But we have to unlearn that and live for ourselves as human beings. Men are only our companions in life and not our reason for existence.

Not discussing sex as women

Sex is a taboo topic for most African women. We don't talk about sex enough and this affects how we participate in the act. Even if women marry as virgins they need adequate sex education and they should not feel like talking about sex makes them bad or spoilt.

It is important that more African get involved in sex talks because they need to understand their role and the consequences it has on them.

Light skin is better than black skin

The one thing African women have a problem with the most is the colour of their skin. We feel light skin is better than black skin and this makes us want to change our skin colour to be lighter. 

This stems from colonial times and it's time to unlearn this. Black skin is as beautiful as any other skin colour and when you valorize it you will see the true beauty in it.

Successful women slept their way to the top

This one may come from jealousy or envy or low esteem or just the fact that we don't like to support each other as women. But this thought really stops us from progressing because it shows that we have brought ourselves so low to think that we can't accomplish anything by ourselves.

Not all women are assisted by men to become who they are. Not all women sleep their way to success even if they act or dress sexily all the time. 

Thinking like this about other women means you don't believe you as a woman have the ability to become successful.

Dear African Sis, let's change from this, unlearn these negativities and move forward.