I'm a perfectionist to the core and those who know me do know that. I can't count the lectures I have received on how to be less of a perfectionist. But you just don't know when your perfectionist DNA becomes dominant again and you don't feel like you are doing enough or giving your best or being your best!

Yes in our world it's all about being the best! Being the best friend, the best daughter, son, brother, sister, niece, auntie, mum, lover, you name it!

We also want to be the best employee, entrepreneur, make the best products, want it to be perfect, with no mistakes, wanting it to be smooth and easy for those we are making it for.

It sounds like too much work (and hell yes it's a lot of work) but we get used to it as that's the only way we know to do things or live! 

What's even more exhausting is when things don't turn out perfect and then we start blaming ourselves for it.

Self-blame is very common among perfectionists. We don't know any other way to do things if not perfect so you can't blame us. 

I personally feel like I'm stupid when I don't get the perfect results. I feel like I'm the dumbest when I make mistakes. It's always my fault because I missed a tiny detail!

Yes, it's always about the tiny details. Because it has got to be perfect and different. 

I can't advance in that domain till I get over that feeling because of the shame I feel for making a mistake.

Wipe it from people's minds if possible! Let them never remember it!

I wish I were not me.

I don't feel good about myself anymore. I don't even believe the compliments I get. 

I'm learning to accept my mistakes and I'm reminding myself that that is why pencils have erasers after all. 

We all make mistakes! So I shouldn't beat myself mentally just because I added a drop to the ocean of mistakes people make in the world every day! 

I'm realising that mistakes are opportunities for me to learn. Learn about myself (how I manage my mistakes), the people around me (do they support me or fan the flame of my shame) and who I want to be (I emerge as a stronger version of myself). 

So I'm learning to realise that accepting that we (perfectionists) can make mistakes and this is setting me free! 

Most times it's not planned and I find myself in the middle of some negative talk to myself. This made me realise that I was my own naysayer. Most of us do this without even knowing. 

It's easier to say "I can't do this" than to say "I can do this" because we have gotten used to saying that to ourselves when we are alone. 

I tend to think more about how I'll suck at something and tell myself I'm not good enough rather than reminding myself of how amazing I am at this or that!

The Effects of Negative Self-Talk

While you are alone, you tell yourself you are not good enough in the first place so you will appear "not good enough" in what you are trying to do. You self-talk yourself to believe you can't do it, that you can't make it, that you can't be the best no matter what and your body is now acting on your words!

This is one aspect I realised recently I was doing to myself and it has been killing my motivation. So I'm trying to work on it!

If you've also been talking negatively to yourself please stop it!

Tell yourself nice things. Positive things! Encouraging words! Loving words.

I decided to do a post on how I went through my lack of motivation which went on for almost a year! Yeah, that long. In this post, I am also sharing tips on how I got out of it and bounced back again.

You wake up in the morning and you know what you should be doing but you don't want to do it. That's just the basic feeling when you lack motivation. Then you feel drained of energy even before you start a task. Also, you are discouraged and ask yourself what's the point everytime you are working on a project. Honestly, I felt so much better not thinking of my business at the time because of the guilt I had for not making any efforts in that domain of my life. 

I used to be extremely motivated and managed to get things done no matter what in the past. And later it was the total contrary. 

My lack of motivation scared me. Yes, it did! I thought it was never going to end, considering how long it lasted. But it's back now and I feel as charged as I used to be to achieve my business goals!

So moments like these should not scare you that much or get you to think that you can't make it. It's a phase of your entrepreneur life and you will experience many of them, just that the intensity will vary.

My lack of motivation was severe as I went for almost a year without producing nor planning for my business. Aside the fact that I was a student and school was taking my time, I didn't feel motivated anymore. All I did was to wish for things to happen or wish to be motivated once more.

And yes I lost customers. You know that is the thing with being a sole proprietor. Everything depends on you and everything you do affects your business (reminds me of my secondary school economics lessons on the advantages and disadvantages of sole proprietorship).

When my motivation came back, it was like starting afresh. That was not so long ago. I'm now working on getting new customers and building my brand again.

I have had other periods when I lacked motivation recently and this has been mostly because of the discouragement from not having desired results after putting in so much effort.

If you feel discouraged and not motivated, it's OK! You can't be motivated all the time. You are human to feel bad when things don't work out as you want or expected. So accept your present mood and remember that you are just being human. 

Give yourself a break. It's a break to not think about your projects for even just a day. Don't try to force things or you may keep getting more discouraged and disappointed since you are not putting in your best and you can't think more objectively.

You could no longer be motivated because you overworked yourself like in my case. It could also be because you don't feel skilful enough to do things. You may also lack motivation because you are afraid of not doing things right or not being able to meet expectations. It could also be a lack of support from friends and family or negativity from your customers in relation to your goods or services. 

You need to find out the source of your discouragement to know how to deal with it.

Face the reason why you lack motivation. 

- If they are negative customers accept the critics that are true and decide to work on them. 

- If it's lack of support from family and friends then talk to them and ask for their support or give them a reason to support you by working even harder to achieve your dreams. 

- If you are discouraged as a result of overworking yourself, a break will be nice for starters. You can try to take a short holiday so that your mind relaxes as well. 

Read, watch and listen to motivational write-ups, videos and speeches. This will do you a lot of good. There is nothing more comforting than to know that our case is not different and someone else is or has been through what we are experiencing. You may find someone who's wording will uplift your spirit and your desire and motivation will start building up once more. So feed yourself with positivity. As much as you can get.

Talk to yourself and face your fears that have discouraged you. Tell your lack or motivation self that you are only going through a phase that will soon be over. Also, tell yourself that you can get back to how motivated you used to be because you are working towards it.

Talk is good but it still doesn't get things done. You need to make little plans and enjoy the feeling of accomplishing little tasks. 

Take baby steps towards working on your business again. Take it slow and don't pressure yourself. I hope you get your motivation back soonest.

The best outfits to consider wearing are jeans, maxi gowns or skirts.
I hope these tips are helpful to you when you go shopping Okrika. 

These crowds can be full of all types of people and pickpockets are no exception. It is necessary to protect your property and make your experience in the market safe. One can never be too careful. 

Separate the money especially if it is a huge amount so that you don't lose it all in the case of theft.

If you do put it in the side pocket, make sure your hand never leaves your side in crowded places.

Let the end of the zip of your bag be at your front and not behind to prevent your bag from being opened without your knowledge.

- Always take out or separate your transport fare 'to and fro' from your shopping money to avoid using up all the money and trekking home.

Trust me, you don't want to run into a shortage of money and become stranded in the market.

Observe and take note of such details to help avoid being robbed or possibly help you to recover your stolen property in case of robbery. Car number plates are orange in colour in Cameroon and taxis are yellow though there are other taxi services like Grey Cab which have grey taxis.

If you notice such movements around you, stop for a while, check and hold on to your valuables well.

It may be a trick to steal from you.

This may divert the attention of pickpockets who may go for searching your bag instead. My friend and I were fond of doing this especially in very crowded markets like Mokolo market in Yaoundé. A pickpocket was spotted by a taxi driver trying to search the bag and called our attention. We were more relaxed because the bag had no money. It served as a distraction.

Related: 
How To Select The Best Quality Items From Okrika Heaps In Cameroonian Markets

How To Dress When Shopping Okirika (Thrifts) In A Cameroonian Market

How To Manage Your Okrika After Shopping

The Best Days to go Okrika (thrift) shopping in a Cameroonian Market

Related: How To Select The Best Items When Okrika Shopping

Another thing worth noting is that some markets have one day in the week when they don't open or sell. Mokolo market in Yaounde doesn't open on Wednesdays. Marché Rond point Express doesn't open on Mondays. 

There are still a majority of markets that sell daily. 

Related: How To Wash And Care For Your Okrika Clothes After Shopping
               How To Make Your White Clothes Whiter By Handwash

Having good looking skin is not only about applying products to your skin. It also requires other actions that will accompany the products that you use.

Sometimes we don't always need to use the very best and expensive products because our skin problem could be as a result of some internal problems. That is a problem coming from inside our bodies. Here are some tips on how to help your skin to be healthy inside and glow outside.

5 Tips for a Healthy Skin

My alone time is so precious to me. Fellow introverts will understand. But having some alone time is not only an introvert thing. It's necessary to spend some time with yourself every now and then.

It's just that introverts get tired of assimilating information (because we need to process it later) ...don't ask me why. So for someone like me, alone time is very precious.

Dealing with life and being 'on the go' daily is really energy draining. Staying away from it all to spend time with me helps me find myself and regain my energy to face it again. It makes me take a break and lets my brain rest.

It's just me and my brains during my alone time and just the best time to create something new and beautiful. I focus more and come up with a well-thought idea because all distractions are cut off. This helps me to be more productive especially as a blogger.

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Coming back to my calm self requires deep relaxation and meditation on my purpose in life. Staying alone provides the chance to retreat and meditate. It's true I try to meditate almost everywhere but it's even better when I am alone. Some spa treatments and a good meal enable more relaxation.

Without the influence of anyone or anything, decisions made during my alone time are well thought of. I have enough time to think about it without being interrupted and can seek advice or counselling if I need to in a calm mood.

So do you have any alone time? How does it help you in your daily life?

Thanks for reading this post. I hope you liked it. I'll see you in my next one.

Avocado helps to moisten your hair scalp and promotes strong and healthy hair growth. Eggs prevent hair loss, frizz and make hair smooth. Both of them combined with lime guarantee less hair breakage and more hair growth.

- Wash hair very clean

- Peel and mash avocado, squeeze lime and beat egg.

- Mix them all.

- Apply to hair and wait for 30 minutes at least. Keep it warm in a shower cap.

- Rinse thoroughly and dry.

- Apply hair oil generously to the hair and scalp.

Garlic is great for hair growth. It strengthens and it also fights against hair loss. 

- Peel and grind garlic.

- Squeeze out the juice from the paste.

- Mix with honey and lime.

- Apply to hair and leave it for at least 20 minutes.

- Use a shower cap to keep it warm.

- Rinse and dry hair.

- Oil hair and scalp generously

These products are quite cheap and efficient. Regular use once a week will make your hair very healthy. You can also switch between these methods every week to benefit more from the goodness of all the ingredients.

I came across a post on Facebook that reminded me of how much I have been told that I have changed. What surprised me is that these were people I have not met in quite a long time. They seemed surprised at how much I have changed and it made me surprised as well.

Life is all about change

As time goes on, we have new experiences that impact us in different ways. These new experiences help us learn new things and become better versions of ourselves.

But it still surprises some people that you are not the same person they knew a year, two or ten ago.

It's amazing that people expect you to be the same girl/boy they knew years or months ago.

I have met people who have told me how much I am no longer the girl they used to know and how much I have changed.

But of course, I am not the same person as yesterday. I have met new people, I have loved again, I have visited new places, I have experienced new joys, pain and tears. They have all impacted me and contributed to the person I am today.

I don't know if people want you to be the same because they don't expect you to change or because they don't want you to change.

They may regret why they didn't value you more in the past and want things to go on as before.

Change is inevitable after every relationship is broken. We need to get to know each other again, understand and tolerate all over again for it to be rebuilt.

This is because, in life we love, we grow, we move on, we get new experiences, we meet new people and learn new habits.

When you cut links with someone today, you are opening them to new relationships that will change their lives.

If you left someone and returned to find them the same person, then don't be surprised that you would leave them again.