There are things that you wouldn't understand until you experience them. Breastfeeding and weaning are some of those things.

I weaned my baby a month ago and from time to time I still feel a void and an interruption in our bond. I miss breastfeeding her when we lay down after she wakes u at night and is crying. The easy way has always been to breastfeed her back to sleep and I've gotten used to that. Even one month after weaning her it still comes like a reflex.


It's not like the whole breastfeeding process has been enjoyable for me. Not at all. The first three months especially were so painful. I almost gave u breastfeeding. But later it was so enjoyable as it created a very special bond between my baby and me. I planned to continue till she is two years but I just had to stop her now at one year and three months. This is very long for some people I know. Everyone I knew asked me to stop already and for some other reason, I decided to stop.

Related: Why I Stopped Breastfeeding My Baby At One Year Three Months Instead Of Two Years As I Planned

It wasn't just the physical pain of weaning that got to me, but also the psychological. I missed breastfeeding her. I loved and enjoyed her dependence on me for that. It made me feel good and accomplished as a mother. I felt like I actually fed my baby. I was happy that she was happy that I breastfed her. It made me feel satisfied. Weaning was taking that joy away.

It hurt even more when my breasts were full and sore and she was crying so much but I couldn't give her. She even wanted me to carry and hold her but I couldn't because my chest and breasts hurt so much.

It was hard I tell you. But I'm happy we are both recovering from that. She is picking up with eating very well and though she misses breastfeeding from time to time, she is visibly moving on. So am I.

Related: How To Stop Your Baby (Or Kids) From Running Your Life

I never expected that it would affect me mentally. I always thought it was just physical. But a bond is really created between a mother and a child during breastfeeding and that bond can be so strong.

There are many things we plan to do and end up taking a different courses. Breastfeeding is one of them for me.

Before having my daughter, I told myself I will breastfeed for a maximum of only six months. Then I enjoyed breastfeeding my baby so much that I decided to do so till she is two years.

Everyone was shocked because of my previous view on the matter but because it's difficult to see women who breastfeed for that long nowadays. I was determined though.

Related: How Weaning My Child Affected Me Physically And Mentally

But when my girl turned a year three months, I couldn't continue to breastfeed her and I had to stop.

Here is why.

5 Reasons I Stopped Breastfeeding My 15-Month-Old

1. She demanded it too much

Her demand and need for breastmilk increased and it was hard to keep up as she wasn't eating much at the time. She would even just suck for the pleasure of it. Her waking up in the night to breastfeed made me worry about not having enough breastmilk for her.

This made me worried and I preferred to stop breastfeeding her.

2. My nipples became sore again

I suffered sore nipples at the beginning of my breastfeeding journey and it was so painful. This time, because she had developed teeth she was fond of holding my nipple with them so it gave me wounds which were hard to health as she breastfed.

This also pushed me to wean her before two years as I planned.

3. I didn't have much time to dedicate to other projects.

Breastfeeding puts you in one position for a while and I was doing that many times a day and even at night. It took away time that I could use to work on my projects.

4. She still woke up in the night to breastfeed

While most kids slept till morning since they were one month old, my daughter still woke up at night to breastfeed. This habit I thought was going to stop somewhere along the line but it didn't.

So I decided to wean her in order to change that.

5. I felt it was better to stop her from breastfeeding for fear that it may be more difficult to stop her at two years old.

It seemed like in two years she will be more addicted to breastfeeding so I had to stop her so that it doesn't get more difficult to wean her in the future.

Those are the things that made me stop breastfeeding my 15-month-old.

Motherhood is one of those periods where a woman has to sacrifice her needs, wants or desires and put that of her baby or kids first. It can be hard for some women to accept this. Your kids practically run your life from the moment you get pregnant.

They determine what you eat, drink, wear, where you go if you should travel or not, the type of car to buy and the kind of investments to make. It is inevitable because as babies they rely a lot on you for everything.

But as they grow up, it is important to take your life back from them and follow your dreams, career or just relax a little and take good care of yourself. It's important to regain control of your life.

I was lazy to do some of these things and now I'm facing the consequences as I realize that my kid still controls my life.

How To Stop Your Baby (Or Kids) From Running Your Life

Understand their tantrums

Pay attention to their tantrums, understand them and find a good way to manage them which doesn't make them realize that you are still the boss.

My daughter developed the habit of crying for stuff and at first, I kept saying she is a child and will outgrow it but it is getting worse and now I have to deal with it.

It's important to understand these tantrums early in order to manage them before they become a problem because when a child throws multiple tantrums it takes away much time from your hands because you have to deal with them each time.

Not that kids are not allowed to have tantrums, they are and will always have those tantrum moments but they need to understand that you are in control of what they get and not the other way round.

Sleep train

Wouldn't life be great if your kids fall asleep easily? Or sleep longer despite the noises around? It would change my life!

I know nothing about sleep training (I haven't even Googled how it is done. I need to do that!) but I know that I need it. My daughter tries to sleep through the night now but it actually took more than a year for her to start sleeping through the night. Meaning she woke up every night to breastfeed or eat before going back to sleep for more than a year. And in the day she is a light sleeper.

Because of this, I had very little time to do anything else.

It's therefore very important to get your kids to sleep more if you want to have more control of your life.

Wean your baby

I breastfed for one year plus and I enjoyed it. Didn't even want to stop but I had to because I needed to create some more time for other things. When a child stops breastfeeding (I breastfed directly. No pump.) they can be fed by someone else while you get something done.

I still miss breastfeeding my daughter but things have got to be done.

Related: How Weaning My Child Affected Me Physically And Mentally

              How To Manage Sore Breasts When Weaning Your Baby And Prevent It From Sagging

              Why I Stopped Breastfeeding My Baby At One Year Three Months Instead Of Two Years As I Planned

Make them used to other people

This is coming from a mother whose one year plus is so attached to her. When a child is used to other family members it's easy to leave him/her with them for a while so that you can take time off or do some work.

My daughter denies everyone especially now that I weaned her. I'm with her most of the time and it makes it harder to get much done either with my career or house chores.

It is hard to stop these little ones from controlling your time and consequently your life but it is necessary if you intend to relax, find time for yourself or pursue a career.

Happy New Week!

When I look at the date I'm tempted to ask where the days are going. We are almost in mid-July. This past week has been uncomfortable and tough for me. I'm hoping for a better new week.

I hope you guys are doing fine.

I caught a cold three days ago and today my daughter caught it too. It's one thing to be sick and another when your child is sick as well. I feel so sorry for her when she coughs and sneezes. The weather has been extremely cold these days. I think my working at night exposed me to getting sick because the nights are colder and I didn't keep warm enough.

My Herbal Tea To Cure The Cold

I would say the week has started off well. Today, I tried to maintain a clean home just like I did yesterday. I was really pleased with my efforts. With a toddler at home its a battle to keep the house clean and tidy. But we are making efforts and progress with that by cleaning regularly and setting rules when it comes to the people who dirty it the most.

My weekend was highlighted by the announcement of the opening of a boutique by our first daughter Brenda Biya alias Bree. It's an initiative to applaud and from the pictures she shared on Instagram and Twitter, the place is fine. The business is situated in Beverly Hills and OMG this arose different reactions from Cameroonians. Most of them would have preferred her to open her boutique in Cameroon. I share and understand their view but on the other hand, there are other reasons why she did it in California best known to her. But in my opinion, a beauty store owned by the first daughter would have attracted many curious Cameroonians like me who will love to visit the boutique of the first daughter. Whatever the case, she has done well by starting her own business and I pray for its success. I really feel inspired by her entrepreneurial move.


This week I'm relying on God and my hard work to achieve my goals. I'm also trying to be more productive this week - something which has been on the rise since the end of last week. I pray it keeps increasing.

Being in your twenties can feel very fabulous. But that is the period which determines a lot in your life. Here are fifty honest pieces of advice for you if you are in your twenties.

50 Honest Pieces Of Advice For 20-Year-Olds 

1. Listen to the wisdom that comes from the mistakes other people have made, but remember you also have strengths and wisdom they don't have

2. Live your life, and take responsibility for your actions.

3. Yellow flags become red flags. Don’t ignore both.

4. Don’t confuse love/connection for infatuation.


5. The reason why we miss or hang on to people is that we feel they will fill the unmet need that we didn’t get as a child.

6. Alcohol is literary a poison killing your energy and your shine

7. You don’t need him boo.

8. Start training your mind on how to visually see your success every day.

9. Don't try to be perfect, that's impossible. Give yourself permission to fail, without shame, learn from your mistakes and always move on trusting yourself and your path.

10. Be patient and don’t be afraid to fail

11. Save 25% of EVERY incoming income.

12. Be your own hero.

13. Live in the present, experience, make mistakes, play, enjoy!

14. Be in touch with your heart and your feelings. Cultivate and practise compassion, love and kindness toward yourself and others.

15. Take the time to get to know yourself, live and embrace your truth, be authentic.

16. Take the time to figure out what YOU want to achieve in life. Don’t rush anything. You’re young and have all the time in the world. Don’t take life to serious (yet).

17. Learn from everything: from people, from books, from the process, from life, from your failures, from everything.

18. Look for a purpose for your life, when you know who you are you will know what your purpose is.

19. Don't think you know better.


21. Keep studying harder, be the best one and look for a profession that makes you happy.

 22. Learn with patience.

 23. Don't fear to think and dream big.

24. Enjoy your life to the fullest. Time flies. Make the most of it. Do what you like. As for making a living, do ONLY what you like. Trust your own capabilities. You deserve the best life has to offer. Be smart.

25. Travel and try new things.

26. Forget about your insecurities.

27. Listen more than you talk.

28. Use your 20s to try out things and have a variety of life experiences, have fun, make mistakes, don't be afraid to make mistakes, travel the world, and invest in personal development. Don't make a job decision based on what looks good on your CV, but rather what feels good to you now as a next step


29. Spend your time around people who either help you grow, you can have fun with, or are of valuable support to you. Do not waste your time with people that do not want the absolute best for you and don't lift you up when you think of them.

30. Respect other living beings.

31. Be grateful for everything that you have.

32. Take calculated risks and design your own path.

33. At 20, a person is heavily influenced by their friends. Take a good hard look at them and seriously ask yourself if they are helpful or hurtful for YOU. If hurtful, run away from them.

34. Work hard, and listen to people who have been there before. Find strong and positive influences.

35. Create the habit of reading. Your concept of the world will change and with that your perception of success.

36. Go full speed after your dreams.

37. Just because you’re cute and have a nice body doesn’t mean you need to sleep with everyone who thinks you are cute.

38. Don’t get pregnant until you know who you are and what you want in life.

39. Focus more on short term goals.

40. Don't trust and love everyone.

41. Dream BIG, start SMALL and stay HUMBLE.

42. Watch a lot of Gary Vaynerchuk very informative.

43. Listen to people who are in a position you want to be in.

44. Be careful who you marry/have kids with.

45. Know your worth and always strive for more.

46. Do NOT try to fit in and do things because you think other people will think it's cool. Attention will NEVER make you genuinely happy. Seriously so many people at age 20 spend all their time trying to be cool and worry about having the newest cool trends and the coolest iPhone and so on. Once you develop genuine happiness and learn to love yourself you'll only regret all the time and money and energy you wasted trying to fit in this box.

48. No matter what happens, always love and put GOD and then yourself first.

49. Embrace growth.

50. Advice given is only received when the mind is open.

When I was little before I got pregnant, I used to wonder if pregnant women felt pain when the baby was growing inside them. I wondered how will someone's body stretch that much and it will not be painful.

I never had the courage to as any pregnant woman that question. Not even my mother nor my friends who had babies before me.  (I don't know why)

My question was answered when I got pregnant. It rather felt itchy as my belly stretched every day. God is wonderful is all I could say.

But with my curiosity put aside, another question arose - How does all this stretch get back in place?

Life In A Postpartum Body

That question was meant to be answered after I put to bed. And that is what has led me to write this post about life in a postpartum body.

The photos were taken about two months after the birth of my daughter.

Related: First Fashion Post After Having A Baby

The flip side...

Living In A Postpartum Body

Creating A Balance

One of the biggest things that's stopping people from having what they want in life is FEAR. Fear can paralyze you and make you unhappy because it stops you from doing the things you want to do. That's why it is important to discover what kind of fear you are dealing with and find solutions to get it out of your way.

Here are four different types of fear you may be feeling.

4 Different Types Of Fear & How To Overcome Them By Yourself

Fears and Symptoms 

Fear of the Unknown,

You fear something but you don't know what it is. You have no clear knowledge of the danger you think you may come across. It can also be when you are not clear about the possible effects the danger might have on you. This is the case with what we are currently facing now in the world which is the fear of COVID-19. We are afraid to get it and this virus has caused many people to lose their jobs, therefore, causing them to fear what will happen to them in the future.

Fear of Failure,

You are afraid of not succeeding in the things you want to do or achieve. Fear of failure comes from a series or a pattern of failure like when the people you know have failed in the past or you have experienced a series of failures. This may make you think or start to believe that you will fail again when you try the next thing or project.

Fear of Success,

You fear being successful or achieving your goal. This usually stems from the fact that we have attributed negative stereotypes to money and being successful. For example, many people believe that rich people are heartless, they are unhappy or that money is evil. These beliefs can affect your desire to succeed because you may be afraid of being a bad person when you eventually become rich.

Fear of What Other People Think

How To Overcome Your Fears.

Health

Skin Care

- Use as few chemicals on your skin as possible
- Wear sunscreen and Moisturize
- Treat your skin

Looks

- Avoid extra piercings and tattoos. You may regret them later.
- Invest in durable outfits. It will save you money and make you look expensive.

Social

- Party as much because you may not be as carefree in the future when you have more responsibilities.
- Have fun and socialize but protect your reputation. Don't do things that you may regret doing in the future.
- Choose good friends.
- Do not feel obligated to stay with a crowd who are not on the same wavelength.
- Drink only good alcohol. It will make you drink less.
- Have impeccable manners.
- Don't get drunk in public.
- Surround yourself with people who want to lift you up not bring you down.
- Careful about what you post on the internet. It may hunt you forever.

Finances

- Learn about how to do financial investments.
- Save part of your paycheck every month for an emergency fund.
- Invest
- Don't buy expensive stuff that you won't use often.

Relationship

- Don't risk falling in love with a man whose vision of life does not align with yours
- Date older guys (at least eight years older). You'll learn a lot from them.
- Don't date men who are rude, low class or hoping to change. It's a waste of time and energy.
- Do not have kids unless it is with a high net worth man to whom you are married to.
- Invest your love, attention and energy only in men who invest in you.
- Don't focus on getting a man. There is enough time for that. Enjoy your life first. Have fun and learn as much as you can before you commit.
- Get to know yourself before you get into marriage if it comes in your twenties.
- Don't over-invest in a man.
- Don't waste your time on cheap men who make you feel worthless
- Don't believe a man can change if he is bad.
- Don't join your finances with that of a man.

Family

- Spend more time with your grandparents if you still have them. You will learn a lot from them
- Love & honour your parents.

Note that you must not do or not do all of these things but just find the ones that resonate the most with your life's objectives and goals.