I made a series of posts about relaxing my hair and the products I used as well as my feelings of betraying my community for not keeping nappy hair. I hope you guys read those posts but if you didn't then click the following links to read them too.

Relaxing my one-year-old nappy hair

Products I used to relax my hair

Disconnected from my community because my hair is relaxed

Watch the video I made about this by clicking here. 

Once Upon A Time, I Had Nappy Hair | My Transition To Relaxed Hair

I cut my hair very low in December 2019 at the barber's shop and it was almost bald. My reason for doing that was I wasn't taking care of the hair I had. I could blame it on motherhood but other reasons like not being satisfied with the quality of my hair were another major problem. 

I didn't know if I wanted to keep nappy hair right away. As time went on, and my hair started growing, I coloured my hair. It was still very short though and as my hair grew it was cool to have golden brown tips.

So I decided to keep nappy hair. I knew it will not be easy but I wanted to try again. I have had nappy hair for a year in the past so it wasn't new.

Some months into my nappy journey, I started finding it difficult to manage my hair dandruff and I did a few hairstyles that cut my edges. 

That was around the period when Greenlifebate reached out to me and gifted me hair products from her brand to try. I must say they came in time because they actually made me change my mind about wanting to relax my hair. Her products made my hair soft and easy to comb and also spared me all dandruff.

Reviewing hair products from Greenlifebate

So fast-forward to December 2020 when I had thriving nappy hair but I just wanted to do more with my hair. The hairstyles I felt like doing sometimes required that I relax my hair and moreover managing nappy hair took more time and energy. I made the decision to relax my hair.

And so I did. It felt amazing and I was happy. I only felt the guilt of no longer belonging to the nappy family anymore but personally, it made me happy.

That's how I transitioned to relaxed hair and I have no regrets. Nappy hair just like relaxed hair has its pros and cons and so far I am cool with my relaxed hair.

I know that nappy hair represents our identity and self-acceptance. And it feels somehow like a detachment when you are no longer nappy. But as long as the reasons behind relaxing your hair have got nothing to do with you not liking who you are then it's fine.

There's my story. I hope you like this post.

I made a video on this topic where I shed more light on it. Click here to watch.

Sugar-daddy relationships are the reality of our African society today for a number of reasons. Though most people believe that it is just for financial benefits, there are other reasons why young African girls go for sugar daddies.

Let's look at them.

Click here to watch my video on this topic instead.

Why African Girls Go For Sugar Daddies

Money

The obvious reason. As I mentioned earlier, African girls have sugar daddies because they want to get money. But aside from money some of them want other benefits like jobs, networking and other benefits that will give them a better life.

Adventure

Some girls are in it for adventure and discovery as well as the opportunity to learn. These men can take them places and show them things which are fun and interesting so they date them to learn from the experience.

Disappointment from past relationships

When some African girls get a series of disappointments from younger men which they would have loved to marry, they tend to have sugar daddies to forget their disappointments. 

Maturity

Sugar daddies who are much older than these girls are more experienced in life and show a high sense of maturity compared to younger guys and that attracts some girls. This makes it easy for them to date these men as they find them more understanding and tolerant.

So, guys, those are the reasons why most African girls date older men or sugar daddies. These relationships have highs and lows. 

It's a phenomenon which is very much seen as a taboo in our African society even though it is much present. The fact that the girls accept to date these men for money or for some benefit makes it sound so taboo to most people. 

But this judgement is coming from a society which still practices child marriages and these children are being given to very old men to pay or settle debts or to get financial favours from an influential family. 

I made a more elaborate video on this topic. Click here to watch it.

Hope this post meets you well. How are you doing this 2021? We are almost one and a half months into the year and  I was wondering if you have set any goals for the year or if you don't just feel like it?

Click here to watch the video of this post instead. Click here.

I Don't Feel Like Having Goals This Year 2021 | Confession 

I don't feel like setting goals this year. I thought I will be motivated to do so when the year starts but I don't feel like it. I do admire those who have vision boards and mapped out plans for the year but I'm not yet motivated. 

I'm just making plans one week at a time and one month at a time. Last year I had a word for the year (though I didn't focus on it after Covid 19) but this year I seem to have none. I really don't have a theme or vision to look forward to this year. 

The thing is I am not even trying hard to get any goals are written down or a theme for the year right now. It's like I'm still getting used to the idea that I am no longer in 2020. 

Maybe after dealing with the phase I'm in now I will do it but I don't want to put any pressure on myself. 

Don't feel pressured if you are not feeling right about setting goals. We are still struggling to survive this pandemic and that alone is not easy to deal with. 

My advice is to change your goals to very short term goals. Plan the week ahead or just the month ahead.

Also, let your goals focus on you. You don't have to set goals on things that depend on circumstances that you can't control. Let your goals be about things you can actually work on and control like your physical and mental development.

As for me right now I'm just taking 2021 one day at a time and hoping for the best.

Click here to watch the video I made on this topic.

A lot of African women do not know how to package and sell a better or the image that they want to the public.

Here are a few tips to help you do that.

I made a video on this topic so you can watch it on my youtube channel by clicking right here. 

How To Package And Sell Yourself As An African Woman

Prioritize your beauty needs. 

What is important for you when it comes to looking good? Is it your hair, makeup, nails, skin care or wellbeing? Decide which thing about you you prefer or love to stay on fleek all the time so that you can pay more attention to it and invest more in it.

Know your budget 

Know how much you get or how much you are willing to spend for your physical image or look. Allocate more money to the thing you find the most important to you. 

Know where to get good stuff at cheaper prices

You need to consider thrifting or buying second-hand clothes and accessories when you are on a budget in Africa. Your budget may be too small if you want to wear only brand new clothes.

Find out if you can buy really good items from your friends or in the market. Know the markets or spots that are cheaper. 

Know how to mix thrifts with new clothes to make them blend

blending what you wear is an art and you need to learn that. Have a few brand new items and mix them with your thrifts or second-hand outfits or accessories. Just find ways to make them work together and blend to give the impression that they are all brand new.

Reinforce your outfits

Take your brand new or Chinese made shoes to the shoe mender and sew them right after your buy them to give them a longer life. 

Have clothes for special occasions and for other activities

Buy simple slippers and keep them only for special occasions or outings so that it stays new every time you take it out. Separate your outing wears from your home wears or errand wears. This way you always have new things to wear and go out.

Know how to dress for every occasion

Let your dressing be in context. Don't wear clubwear to church for example. Try to dress for the occasion and stand out within that context by using the right accessories.

Have moments where you look simple and be proud of your natural beauty. 

Don't let artificial beauty define you. Looking simple from time to time enables you to build true self-confidence. When you are confident without your makeup, fine clothes and other beauty accessories then you are building stronger confidence.

Work on these points and your image will improve. I hope you enjoyed this post;

Thanks for reading and remember you can still watch the interesting video I made on this topic by clicking right here. You can also subscribe to my Youtube channel by clicking here.

I got this lipstick in December 2020 while I was doing my nails at the salon. The lady doing my nails who is also the owner of the salon recommended I buy it. 

It wasn't a planned purchase at all and I haven't bought a lipstick in a long time.

I've been waiting for the right moment to try it. And I decided to do so and share my thoughts with you.

Trying On My New Purple Lipstick & Review

The product

How did it feel using this lipstick and gloss?

Tips for using it.

Things I love about the lipstick and gloss

Today I want to share with you my wardrobe organization tricks and what my wardrobe looks like on a daily basis. To be honest it may get more disorganised than this but here is how it looks on most days.

If you prefer to watch the video of this wardrobe tour instead then click here to watch.

How I Organise My Wardrobe | Tricks I Use To Make Everything Get Into My Wardrobe

Things found in my wardrobe

Cosmetics

My clothes

My daughter's clothes

Shoes

Bedsheets, towels and blankets

Unused clothes and miscellaneous

My wardrobe tour | Inside the wardrobe of a Cameroonian Lifestyle Blogger

My wardrobe is the type we find in most houses in Cameroon. 

It is divided into two compartments vertically. One side is further separated horizontally into a cupboard. 

The first cupboard of my wardrobe is where I put my cosmetics and jewellery. These things were previously at the foot of my bed and my daughter will not stop going there to scatter them. So putting them at the topmost part of my wardrobe is the best thing to do with them.

It also has my wigs and other little stuff I own.

The last part of the cupboard is for any other things such as blankets, bedsheets, and any other clothes or stuff which I don't use often.

The uppermost part of my wardrobe is where I keep my handbags, mosquito nets and cartons.

I have a few of my handbags hanging on the doors of my wardrobe because I recently used them and felt so lazy to put them back in place.

The other side of the wardrobe is for clothes that stay on hangers. Below that is my box of clothes.

My shoes are found on the wall behind my hanging clothes.

That's how I organize my wardrobe and as you can see it is realistic. It's not perfectly arranged but it is clean and that's how it looks on most days.

You can watch the video of this closet tour below.

Click here to watch the video.

Five Special Things About African Women You Must Know

Today I want to address some things that we African women have been suffering from for a long time. these things and habits have hindered us from growing for a long time and it's time to unlearn them. 

Here are things, thoughts and habits that African need to unlearn.

Watch my video on this topic by clicking here.

Negative Things African Women Need To Unlearn About Themselves In Order To Progress In Life

You have to suffer in relationships before enjoying it

Gone are the days when you need to tolerate a man who doesn't treat you right for years hoping that one day he will realize your worth before turning back to loving and respecting you full time. 

Men are used to doing what they like in relationships and return to loving their long life partners in their old age. This is because we let them. Let's not continue to make this a pattern. It's time to say stop to this. It's time to unlearn this habit my dear African ladies. We are worth better men.

They have to look like someone else in order to be considered beautiful

This is sad but true. Most African women believe that they need to look like women of other races in order to be considered beautiful. 

Your sole purpose of existence & looking beautiful is for a man or to attract and keep a man

African women make men the centre of their lives a lot. Men are important to us but we don't exist because of them. This also stems from our culture where women were brought up to please men. But we have to unlearn that and live for ourselves as human beings. Men are only our companions in life and not our reason for existence.

Not discussing sex as women

Sex is a taboo topic for most African women. We don't talk about sex enough and this affects how we participate in the act. Even if women marry as virgins they need adequate sex education and they should not feel like talking about sex makes them bad or spoilt.

It is important that more African get involved in sex talks because they need to understand their role and the consequences it has on them.

Light skin is better than black skin

The one thing African women have a problem with the most is the colour of their skin. We feel light skin is better than black skin and this makes us want to change our skin colour to be lighter. 

This stems from colonial times and it's time to unlearn this. Black skin is as beautiful as any other skin colour and when you valorize it you will see the true beauty in it.

Successful women slept their way to the top

This one may come from jealousy or envy or low esteem or just the fact that we don't like to support each other as women. But this thought really stops us from progressing because it shows that we have brought ourselves so low to think that we can't accomplish anything by ourselves.

Not all women are assisted by men to become who they are. Not all women sleep their way to success even if they act or dress sexily all the time. 

Thinking like this about other women means you don't believe you as a woman have the ability to become successful.

Dear African Sis, let's change from this, unlearn these negativities and move forward. 

This holiday season, I did some online shopping from two Cameroonian entrepreneurs. One bakes cakes and the other is a cosmetic brand. I just wanted a big delicious yoghurt cake to satisfy my craving and also I needed beauty products for my body.

How I chose these brands to buy from was simple. I knew them already (the CEOs) and trust was already established though it was my first time actually buying their products. They are small growing brands. 

As an entrepreneur myself, it felt good to support and patronise people I know. I didn't buy from them in order to judge their service. It was because I needed their products. To my surprise, I learned a lot from the experience.

Here are the things I learned from my online shopping with these brands.

Buying From Online Cameroonian Brands | What I Learnt As An Entrepreneur

It's essential to deliver on time

Delivering on time shows that you value your customer's time. I ordered for the cake days before but on the day of delivery, the vendor called me to say she will be running late. It was a good thing she called me to let me know she won't be able to deliver on time and I appreciated that. 

But I wondered within me if she also considered the fact that the cake could have been for a party or an occasion and the time I gave her needed to be respected.

Let your customer know if you can't deliver on time

As mentioned above, I appreciate the cake service for letting me know she'll be late in her delivery. It made me feel considered and respected. On the other hand, the cosmetic brand didn't deliver during the period we agreed on and I was the one who contacted them to ask why my products had not been delivered. 

It's crucial to deliver exactly what was ordered

This is the most important lesson of all. Deliver what the customer asked for. It is bad enough to deliver late but don't allow yourself to deliver a product that is not up to what the client ordered. 

This was my case with the cake delivery. Added to the fact that she changed the time of the delivery, she delivered a cake that didn't rise during baking. 

Oh yes, she did. She really did. During the delivery, she told me that the baking powder she used wasn't good and she needs to change the baking powder but the cake is ok. I thought it was just a small problem. After collecting the cake and I got home and opened it I was shocked and angry too. 

I remembered how I had made it clear to her that I wanted a big cake and she promised me I'll be satisfied. Despite that, she had the courage to deliver a cake that didn't rise properly. I wondered if she even considered the fact that it could be a gift for someone. How do I give such a cake to someone? Honestly, she made my money seem so useless. She delivered the cake still hot meaning that she probably didn't start baking it early enough so she probably took it out before it could completely rise. That's my theory since her story of the baking powder being the problem didn't sound true to me. 

Honestly, if I were in her place I would ask if I can deliver a proper cake on another day or simply refund the customer. Not delivering that right product discourages the customer from buying from you.

Ask for feedback from customers and do it on time

Getting feedback from your customers is very important. Not asking them if they received the product, how they find the product or if they like your product may make them feel like you don't care. Depending on the product you should ask for feedback at the time the client might have consumed the product or when he/she might have started seeing results.

The cake lady asked me a few days later how the cake was. I wondered why she took so long to ask knowing very well that there was a problem with the cake. Anyway, I made her understand that I wasn't satisfied and how disappointed I was. She said she'll catch up next time but I feel so discouraged that I doubt if there will be a next time.

Make sure all products are delivered to the customer

When clients orders multiple products, verify that you send them all. 

I received all the beauty products except for one and to be honest, I needed it so badly. if the client is located in another town just like in my case it becomes difficult or expensive to send the remaining product. 

Keep the client engaged during the purchase

Inform the client of your plans and actions related to his or her order. If delivery is taking a few days update them and keep them in the know of what's going on. Keeping the client engaged helps them develop a good relationship with you.

I wish to patronise more Cameroonian brands online in the future because I know what it means to be encouraged in that manner. I am an online entrepreneur too. 

It's been a few days since we celebrated Christmas and New year. Life is back to normal. People are pulling through the month of January as most Christmas leftovers should be finished by now. 

The month seems to be going fast to me and honestly I don't want it to slow down. Apart from that, this is how life has been after the Christmas and new year celebrations.

 Life After Christmas And New Year Celebrations

Wondering when I'll take down my Christmas tree

I look at my tree every day and wonder if I should take it down already. I'm thinking that it's about time I do so but I still feel Christmasy. 

Waiting for January to pass quickly

The days are passing by fast and I am eager for the month to come to an end. Finances are a little low after the celebrations and I need this period to pass as fast.

Eating leftovers

I've been slowly eating my leftovers from the celebrations. I must confess that immediately after Christmas and new year I didn't feel like eating any leftovers at all. But a few days later, I enjoyed it.

Watching movies

Oh yes. I now have time or should I say make time to watch tv and one thing I find the most interesting now is movies. Both African movies (Nollywood most especially) and Hollywood movies. 

The tv channels I'm really enjoying are Africa Magic Epic and Showcase as well as MBC Max and MBC 2.

One of the best movies I've watched recently and will like to watch again is "Julie & Julia". 

Resting

After all the cooking and celebrating it is only right to get some rest. I try to take naps and just relax.

This is how life has been after the celebrations and we are still taking one day at a time. How has life been for you?